Amnesia
by Kaien Brief
Summary: A scarred witch is found in Hogwarts with no memories; no one has ever seen her before but for some reason when she sees certain people she knows that somewhere at some time she had met them before.  A time travel story with a twist
1. The Scarred Girl

**So I read a lot of time turner stories, some of which have Hermione faking amnesia. What if she really did have amnesia?**

**Here is a tease of a prologue. I was gonna wait till Saturday but once I write something it bothers me until I post it.**

**Disclaimer: not mine or some deaths would be changed. Sirius and Severus would live. I think I'd switch out Ron and Fred like Rowling's original plan so it would be more dramatic and realistic (no way all three of them would have lived) and you probably don't care about the rest of my changes as very few will affect this story.**

Pain. A dull, aching pain fills her head, clouding her mind and preventing any thoughts from coming to the fore front of her mind. She can tell that she is lying on a skinny mattress with paper thin sheets covering her body. She forces her eyes open and all she can see is white. The sun shining through the window seems unbearably bright in combination with the color. She tries to remember what happened but her head hurts too much. Her body hurts too, every muscle is sore and her flesh stung where there are obviously wounds.

"Where… where am I?" the girl mutters.

A maternal voice answered, "You are in the Hogwarts infirmary." The voice was vaguely familiar but the girl could not place it. "You are perfectly safe here, can you tell me what happened?"

The girl tried to remember what put her here, tried to remember anything really. Blank.

"No, I can't."

The woman that the girl assumed was a nurse sighed. "What is your name? How can we contact your family?"

"I don't know," the girl whispered, fear began to surface. "Please, tell me what you know."

"It is not much my dear," the woman fretted. "The school governors were taking a tour of the grounds when they found you."

The girl looked down at her body to see lightly tanned skin covered in scars. "I'm afraid many of those will never go away child. I will go find the headmaster, please try and remember something." The nurse left and the girl looked around the room to occupy herself since trying to remember hurt too much. Nothing interested her though the calendar caught her attention for a split second.

Her eyes left it though to further scan the room, the fact that it was August 29, 1976 meant nothing to her.

**I don't normally take much confidence in my writing skills but I'm telling you this one is gonna be good.**

**Please review, I know it is early but it lets me know people are interested.**


	2. Hermione Jean

**Thank you Shorty653 and dyk3adellic for the reviews and I'm sorry I didn't update as fast as I thought I would**

**Disclaimer: not mine**

The girl—she still could not remember her name so this is what she will be referred to as until further notice—had found a hand mirror in the drawer of the small table next to her bed. Looking into it she saw her face which was familiar yet unfamiliar at the same time. Dull, brown eyes and light skin that had been bruised and bloodied. Tangled, curly, honey-brown hair surrounded a youthful face that was covered in worry lines. So it seems she had been stressed out even before losing her memory.

This room was vaguely familiar and the girl was sure she had seen it before but with all of her scars she assumed that she was merely remembering another infirmary, they all looked very similar. By her side were the clothes she was found in along with a beaded purse. The nurse had yet to return with the headmaster so the girl decided to look through her things in search of clues. Her shirt was bloodied and torn as were her pants, inside the pockets all she found was some pocket change and a vinewood wand. Holding the wand in her hand she felt anchored. This was a part of who she was and spells were flying through her head begging to be cast. How odd, she could not remember who she was but she remembered all of these charms, hexes, and shields. She even remembered some nasty curses and that frightened her. She didn't _think_ she was a particularly aggressive person but who really knew.

She picked up the purse and heard what sounded like many large objects moving within it when the infirmary door opened. Looking up, the girl saw the nurse walk in with an older man. He was quite tall with a long beard that was in the process of transforming from auburn to silver as was his hair. He wore a rather bright yellow robe with green moons and stars on it and his bright blue eyes twinkled behind half moon spectacles in kind curiosity. She instantly knew that she knew the eyes from somewhere, knew that she had been the subject of his gaze before. In his hands he held a raggedy old hat that he placed carefully on the table at the end of her bed before sitting down next to her.

"Good afternoon, you look much better than before, I trust Madam Pomfrey has been treating you well?" he asked in a fatherly tone.

The girl nodded, "Yes, sir."

He gave her a comforting smile, "I knew that she would. My name is Professor Dumbledore and I am the Headmaster of Hogwarts. Now can you tell me how you got here Miss…?"

Shaking her head she told him, "I'm sorry I can't. I don't remember anything."

The Headmaster sighed. "Madam Pomfrey told me as much but I was still hopeful. Do you have any vague memories? Siblings? Parents' profession? A town?" The girl once again shook her head, wondering how to get these people to realize that she really couldn't remember when she felt a new pressure in her head. It felt like a new, foreign presence was penetrating her mind. She did not know what it was but she did not like it despite the comforting influence it was attempting to convey and concentrated on getting it out. No matter how hard she tried it was still there but it did not travel any deeper into her mind despite its obvious efforts.

"Madam Pomfrey," she whimpered, "my head…"

Suddenly the pressure was gone. "It is alright, child," the headmaster assured her, "I wanted to see if there was anything hiding in there." The girl was not sure how to feel about his boldness but she felt sure that he would not try it again.

"Albus, please refrain from upsetting my patient," the nurse scolded as she began to dab the girl's forehead with a damp cloth.

"I apologize, besides I think I have a better idea." Dumbledore reached over to the table and picked up the torn hat, "This is the Sorting Hat; we use it to determine one's house in Hogwarts. He searches through the memories to find which house characteristics each student possesses and values. He should be able to find out a little more about you." And with a smile, the Headmaster placed the Sorting Hat on her head.

"_Mmmm, interesting, very interesting. This is a one of a kind case, isn't it Hermione?"_

The girl's eyes lit up, "Hermione? Is that my name?" she asked aloud.

"_Yes it is, I can see all your memories though they are blurry. Yes this is very interesting indeed. Do not bother asking me any questions, they will all be answered in time. This will frustrate you but you must remember things on your own. I will tell you this though: Your birth name is Hermione Jean—I'll keep the last name to myself—you are the brightest witch of your age, nearly eighteen years old, and you are very brave. Have fun in 1976,"_ the hat said cryptically before shouting,_ "_GRYFFINDOR!"

Dumbledore pulled the hat off and gave the girl—now known as Hermione Jean—a gaze filled with questions. "He said my name is Hermione Jean. He wouldn't tell me my last name or anything else really. I'm almost eighteen and I think he wants me to go to school here."

The Headmaster looked disappointed at the lack of information. "Well if that is all he'll tell you—he can be quite stubborn—then that is what we will settle for at the moment. We'll make Jean your temporary last name and you will be placed in Gryffindor. My old house actually, a very good place to be not that the others are bad. I guess I am just a bit biased," he said conspiratorially. "When Madam Pomfrey says you are well enough I will see to it that you receive a tour of the castle. But before I go lemon drop?" He held out a handful of small yellow candies which she declined.

After a day full of Madam Pomfrey's care and Hermione's own thoughts about what the hat said the nurse finally deemed Hermione fit enough to walk about the castle.

An older, strict looking woman who gave her the same impression of recognition as the headmaster came to give Hermione the tour. Her name was Professor McGonagall, the Head of Gryffindor and Transfiguration Professor, and Hermione felt as if she could be friends with this woman. As she was given a tour of the castle the vague feeling of familiarity grew stronger. Hermione had been here before, she knew it. She had hoped Professor McGonagall would say something to confirm her suspicions but nothing like that was said. Finally it became too much, Hermione had to at least ask. "Ma'am? Do I know you from somewhere?"

The older woman gave her a sad look, "I'm afraid not my dear, I wish I could help you but I can't."

"But I know I've met you before," Hermione persisted, "and this castle, too. Something in the back of my mind is telling I've been here before, that I know you, but that's it. It was the same with Headmaster, too."

McGonagall shook her head, "I know this all confusing but we are doing the best we can to help you. I'm afraid your suspicions are unfounded, Miss Jean."

XXXXXXX

Two days passed and Hermione still could not find any memories. Each part of the castle gave her an odd feeling of nostalgia—including the girl's seventh year dorm she had been staying in—but nothing concrete.

The students would be coming for dinner tonight to start the new term and Hermione desperately hoped someone would recognize her. The hat told her to wait but she didn't want to, she was lost, confused, and scared.

Professor McGonagall had come up about ten minutes ago to tell her to get ready for the welcoming feast during which her presence would be announced to the school. Hermione hoped she would not attract too much attention but she feared that was more than she could hope for. She had been told that the school had never had a transfer student before so of course she would be the center of attention for at least a few days if not weeks.

She put on her uniform and cast glamour charms to hide what she could of her scars, the nastiest of which was the word 'mudblood' carved in her arm. Madam Pomfrey had not been able to look at it without pity and sorrow filling her eyes and whatever had been used to carve her skin had been cursed and thus made most charms useless. Thankfully they found one that worked, there were others she couldn't hide magically without being too obvious but her clothes took care of them for the most part. Taking a deep breath, Hermione left Gryffindor Tower and headed to the Great Hall.

**Okay so I wanted to do 2000-3000 word chapters but this is obviously a little short, it just felt like a good place to stop and chapters will get longer in time. Please leave some reviews and constructive criticism**


	3. Meeting the Marauders

**Thanks to sweet-tang-honney, Shorty653, and Lost-puppyEYES**

**Sorry this took me longer to update than expected it was just one of those weeks**

**Disclaimer: Not my property**

When Hermione arrived at the entrance of the Great Hall, she saw Professor McGonagall speaking to a group of children. The new first years listened intently as the woman explained the Sorting Ceremony.

"When we enter I will call you up one by one and place the hat on your head. The hat will call out one of the four houses: Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. You will then go to sit with your new house and wait for the Headmaster to start the feast." She turned and the large doors opened as she led the awestruck first years into the Hall.

Hermione stood outside the doors and listened to the Sorting Hat sing its song. It sung of Gryfindor's bravery and boldness, Ravenclaw's intelligence and wisdom, Slytherin's cunning and ambition, and Hufflepuff's kindness and loyalty. Hermione had taken the time to read _Hogwarts: A History_ and felt the song was rather accurate except from what she picked up Hufflepuffs weren't always loyal and kind, many were just the leftovers. Most would never admit this out loud but everyone knew it was true.

As each child's name was called and their house declared, Hermione shifted her weight from foot to foot nervously as she waited for the Headmaster to call her into the Great Hall. Hogwarts had never had a transfer student before and she would surely be a source of curiosity and rumors until something more interesting happened. She could remember nothing of her own school or friends but she knew that teenagers in large gatherings created rumor mills.

Finally, Andrew York was placed into Ravenclaw and the sound of applause grew until suddenly being cut short. The next noise heard was the voice of the Headmaster booming through the Hall. "Welcome to our first years and welcome back to the rest. Before we begin our lovely feast I have an announcement." Murmurs filled the hall in surprise, what could the Headmaster possibly tell them? "A few days ago, we found on Hogwarts property a young girl. She was injured badly and unconscious. Our own Madam Pomfrey healed her wounds and nursed her to health. Unfortunately the accident caused amnesia. She has no memory of who she is or where she is from. Our sorting hat was able to find that her given name is Hermione Jean and until a last name is found she will be known as such. If any of you recognize her please tell us immediately, if she recovers any memories while in your presence please take note. Until her identity and family is found she will be staying here as a seventh year. She has already been sorted into Gryffindor and I hope that you will all welcome her here in our home. Now, Ms Jean if you would please come into the Hall?"

With his final words the large doors opened revealing a curios mass of students turned intently to the entrance, eager to see the mysterious girl. Cautiously, Hermione stepped into the Hall that was now filled with whispers which caused her to become self conscious. She already felt vulnerable enough without her memory, to be the center of attention just made it worse. Entering into the Hall for the first time in the school year gave her a strong sense of déjà vu. Hermione forced a smile to the table full of teachers, the members of which she had already become acquainted, before she timidly went to the Gryffindor table and sat down at the end where she was alone but still close enough to some students her age to be pulled into conversation if she wished.

"Now," Dumbledore's voice cut through the whispers, "It is time to eat!"

Food magically appeared on the tables and the attention was taken away from Hermione. She could understand why, the food was beautiful and Hermione had learned the food tasted as grand as it looked.

Hermione began to take food from the surrounding serving plates for herself when several beings suddenly were sitting around her. Hermione jerked her head up when one sat very close to her.

"Hey Hermione, you don't mind if we sit here do you?" The girl addressing her was beautiful with flowing red hair and bright green eyes. She wore a uniform identical to her own but upon her cloak was a golden badge showing that she was this year's Head Girl. "My name's Lily Evans and these gentlemen are known as the Marauders," the four boys to whom Lily was referring all grinned at the title. Lily was also smiling and hers was a smile that was contagious causing Hermione's small smile to be a little less forced.

One of the Marauders had a Head Boy badge and sat down next to Lily rather closely. He had messy black, glasses, and a face that seemed very familiar just like many of the Professors. But his eyes, his hazel eyes just seemed wrong and his obvious self confidence felt odd as well. "Oi, I'm James Potter, Evans' future husband," the Head boy claimed as he attempted to throw his arm around her shoulders.

Lily blushed as she shrugged him off, "In your dreams, Potter."

"True, true but we are heads now and we'll be seeing a lot of each other. Who knows what will happen?" he wriggled his eyebrows suggestively before clutching his side in mock pain after Lily elbowed him. As those two continued their banter, Hermione turned towards the rest of her companions.

On left side was a handsome young, aristocratic looking man with long black hair. He lounged beside her lazily and introduced himself as Sirius Black, a name that caused a feeling of recognition to once again nag at her absent memories. Sirius then gestured across the table to his two fellows and introduced them as Remus Lupin and Peter Petegrew. Remus had shaggy blond hair and tattered uniform. Like herself, he had scars but they were obviously of a different nature. Her intuition—as Hermione decided to refer to her odd feelings of recognition—told her the Remus was an intelligent young man that she could trust.

Peter Petegrew on the other hand was very much the opposite. Every one she met and 'recognized' so far gave her a vibe of friendliness and a vague sense of home, but Peter was very different. His small, watery eyes were pathetic; his shy smile made her cringe. She felt bad at reacting this way; he was much shorter than his friends and very much overweight. His self confidence was obviously low and was quite obviously begging for acceptance but every fiber of her being felt disgusted to be near him and begged her to shun him.

Hermione was grateful to Lily when she once again commanded Hermione's attention. "I'm so sorry to hear about your accident but I'm sure your family will turn up soon. Have you regained any memories?"

"No."

"Oh well, that's too bad," Sirius said, "I hope you like it here at Hogwarts. Now everyone says this about their own house but Gryffindor really is the best, you couldn't have been luckier with your sorting. We are good friends with the Hufflepuffs and get along well enough with the Ravenclaws, unfortunately the Slytherins are another story."

"They aren't that bad," Lily defended half-heartedly.

"They are and you know it better than anyone," James interrupted. Lily's face fell then filled with anger at something.

"I don't think we should judge based on certain individuals guys," Remus insisted. Hermione smiled at the shaggy blonde and began to ask him about the classes. The couple in denial returned to their banter as Siruis teased them while Peter pretended to listen to the conversation between the new girl and his neighbor.

Hermione could almost completely ignore the whispers and stares that had returned but one stare pickled her senses. It was not a constant stare, it felt like casual observation but Hermione could not help but turn to look at the source. It came from the Slytherin table where many were glaring daggers at her but one boy was clearly her culprit. He was tall, thin, pale and had shoulder length black hair in need of a thorough wash. His features were distinct and somehow fit his overly large nose. She saw that the boy glared at Sirius and James and was giving Lily a wistful gaze but he was not obvious about it. No one would notice unless they looked for it.

Before Hermione could ask any questions Dumbledore gave his speech and the students were dismissed to their dorms.

That night Hermione went to sleep once again wondering why her intuition was as strong as it was. And tonight she had some added thoughts as she listened to Lily's soft snores. Why did she naturally detest Petegrew? And why did the thin, pale Slytherin boy fill her with such confusion?

**AN: I hope you didn't mind the wait, these things happen. Now I must write for ****Dearest Ferret**** since they've been waiting even longer than you guys**


	4. First class at Hogwarts

**I want to thank everyone for the overwhelming response to this story in terms of favorites and alerts and to specifically thank poscdm and sweet-tang-honney for their reviews**

**Disclaimer: if it can be recognized in pop culture then it is not mine**

"Rise and shine. Come on, Hermione, we're going to be late!" Hermione woke to the sound of a cheery voice that should be illegal this early in the morning and the feeling of her arm being tugged in an attempt to make her sit up.

Unfortunately for the voice's owner, Hermione was not yet ready to leave the world of sleep and settled herself into her bed determinedly. As the tugging, and now shaking, continued Hermione was able mumble out a very pitiful 'no' in response.

"Get your" tug "lazy butt" tug "out" tug "of" tug "bed." With the last word came the strongest tug which forced Hermione to shoot up into a slouched seated position from where she saw Lily tumble backwards, barely catching herself on the bed. "Well now that you're up get moving," the red head commanded, "the other girls have already left for breakfast."

Hermione groaned and forced herself out of bed to find her uniform. She had not gone into a deep sleep until very early in the morning, up until then her rest had been fitful and pestered with thoughts and questions. The fact that she was not a morning person in the first place was not helping. Lily on the other hand appeared well rested and as cheery as her voice.

"You are lucky I was here to wake you, you would have slept straight through breakfast and first period," Lily chattered as she began brushing through her fiery mane. A still groggy Hermione attempted to listen and focus on her tie at the same time so as not to appear rude. "You know they wanted to put the Heads in their own dorms this year? We would have had to share a common room, can you imagine that? Me! Practically living with Potter!"

"Well yeah, you two got along well enough last night," the brunette answered sleepily.

"What! Not you too," Lily whined, "I was hoping you wouldn't agree with them."

"With who?"

"Everyone, they all think Potter and I would be the perfect couple."

"I don't know about perfect but you'd do well together."

"Never," the red head said forcefully, "I will never be with Potter. And while we are on the topic of boys I should warn you about Sirius. He's a flirt. Plain and simple, don't fall for his tricks and trust me he will flirt with you just like with every other girl. Well every girl but me, thankfully."

"Why not you? You're so pretty, much prettier than me or the other girls here," Hermione questioned.

Lily laughed, "Thanks for the compliment but his best friend and honorary brother has already claimed me. Any way you are much prettier than you think and…"

Lily had turned around and stared. Hermione raised an eyebrow and looked down at herself, '_Did I put on the wrong clothes?' _no her clothes were fine her skin wasn't. Apparently Lily had yet to get a good look at Hermione that morning and the glamour charms had worn off. Her legs, which were bare below her skirt, were once more visibly covered in scars. "Crap," Hermione muttered as she quickly began to reapply the charms. "Lily before you ask, I don't know. We think they are related to the accident that gave me amnesia."

"But…but," Lily stuttered, "those aren't just scars, they're battle scars. Where would you have gotten those?"

"I don't know and to be honest I kind of don't want to find out," Hermione said thinking of her worst scar. She hurriedly pulled on her socks and shoes, "Come on Lily, let's go have breakfast." Hermione grabbed her beaded purse which she had finally looked through before school started. It was very large on the inside and filled with books including texts on all of the subjects offered at Hogwarts, except Divination. She also found a number of dark arts texts that frightened her and lots of clothes that looked rather odd.

Lily nodded and the two girls left but the look on her face plainly showed that Lily was still curious and a bit disturbed about Hermione's scars. It made Hermione a bit self conscious to see that look on the other girl's face so she quickened her pace towards the Great Hall. When she arrived she found an empty seat next to Remus and quickly took it. The shaggy blonde smiled at her, "Good morning, is there a reason you slept in so late?" he asked indicating the time that informed Hermione that she only had fifteen minutes to eat.

"Just tired really," she answered, "I didn't realize it was so late already, have they handed out the schedules?"

"Yeah, here's yours by the way. I'm guessing they tested you, what classes did they put you in?"

"Well," Hermione said as she opened her schedule, "I have advanced everything except divination, I guess I didn't forget any of my education."

"Advanced everything?" Pettigrew repeated in disbelief.

Sirius smiled, "Pretty and smart, I guess that means you start off in transfiguration with us. Gryffindor Head of House and six Gryffindor students, it is going to be the best class all year." Everyone nodded in agreement as they finished their breakfast.

Moments later the Marauders, Lily, and Hermione were seated two by two in Professor McGonagall's classroom. The girl's in front, James and Sirius behind them, and Remus and Pettigrew in the back. Also in the class were a couple of Hufflepuffs and a few Slytherins and Ravenclaws. Amongst the snakes was the same pale boy Hermione had noticed yesterday but he was not paying her any attention now and was instead looking at the front of the class along with everyone else. Hermione looked up front as well and saw a strict looking Tabby cat that the whole class recognized as their Transfiguration Professor. When everyone was seated the feline transformed back into a woman, "Welcome back everyone, in this class you will be preparing for the N.E.W.T. exams and will also be given the chance to become an animagi." At this the Marauders began to snicker for some reason and made an effort to hide their mirth when the class turned to look at them. The professor simply smiled knowingly and continued her speech. Eventually she asked everyone to pull out their text books and walked over to Hermione. "Ms Jean, the school will provide texts for you but for the time being I ask that you share with Ms Evans."

"No need I have a book," the professor gave her a questioning glance, "Would you believe I found it in my purse? Somebody put a charm on it, it's filled with everything I need." By now the whole class was listening hoping t find out more about the strange girl.

"May I see it, it may not be the right text," Hermione handed her the large tome that looked very different from the rest of the class'. The older woman opened the text and looked at the first page, around where the copyright information would be. Suddenly her eyes widened and McGonagall shut the book, "Ms Jean I'm afraid I need to see all of your books and you will still have to share," she said in a shaky voice.

"O-okay, is something wrong Professor?" Hermione asked, accioing the books out of her purse.

"I'll discuss it with you later, now everyone read chapter five and take notes." The professor then levitated the books to her desk and began checking the first page in each one. "Ms Jean there are no names in these books are you sure they are yours?"

"They have an ownership charm on them."

"Oh yes how silly of me not to check. A pity, I thought we would find out your real last name."

Hermione could tell that the older woman was very shocked about something as she walked into her office. Moments later he came back out and Professor Dumbledore came out with her. By this point nobody was pretending to take notes and all attention was on the teachers. The Headmaster looked at all the books and his eyes sparkled, "Interesting, very interesting."

**AN: I think it's pretty obvious what's going on but for those of you who haven't figured it out I'm going to leave you hanging.**

**Please, please, please review!**


	5. Mind your own business

**So I should really be working on my other story, the fact that I started writing it in January and are only 11 chapters in is sad, it never takes me that long to write and update, but my writer's block is very much effecting that story—sorry to all those that are reading it—but not this one apparently.**

**Thank you sweet-tang-honney, SapphireDreamer26, poscdm, JollyLoser, amusant, notwritten, and toriashley for the reviews**

**Disclaimer: I'm not talented enough to have written HP, if I was the world would view the Slytherins very differently**

After his examination of her books, Dumbledore told Hermione to see him after her classes were finished for the day and then took them away with him, presumably to his office. When the Transfiguration class was finally dismissed many of the students attempted to corner her. 'What's going on?' 'Where are you from?' 'What does Professor McGonagall want to talk to you about?' 'What does the Headmaster find so interesting?' Hermione was able to escape them and lose herself in the river of students headed to their next classes. Unfortunately, there was no refuge there either as the younger students began asking her questions concerning some rather ridiculous rumors. 'Are you a spy from the ministry?' 'Are you a teacher's illegitimate daughter?' 'Are you related to You-Know-Who?'

Hermione actually responded to that last question. "Who's You-Know-Who?" she asked the fourth year Hufflepuff boy.

The boy with brown hair that brushed his shoulders looked at Hermione incredulously, "You must have amnesia." The boy then dashed back to his friends' sides and left a confused Hermione wondering who on earth the boy was talking about.

"Oi, Hermione!" a voice called her attention and with a glance over her shoulder was revealed to be James Potter, closely followed by his crew with Lily in front of him.

Sirius wrapped an arm around her shoulders and began apologizing. "We didn't mean to offend you or anything, anyway I can make up for it?" he asked with a grin.

Lily rolled her eyes and pulled Hermione away from him, "I think she'll pass." The two girls hurried away to a girl's bathroom and the redhead checked that no one was there. Once she confirmed that the bathroom was indeed empty Lily turned on Hermione. "What on Earth is going on?"

The brunette let out a groan of frustration, "Lily, I know as much as you do."

"Yeah right, you are covered in battle scars and have weird books that have managed to surprise the two teachers in this school that are never surprised. Dumbledore knows everything, the castle tells him everything, and McGonagall is pretty much unflappable. What was in those text books?"

"I don't know! I haven't even looked yet! All I know is that I woke up here a few days ago in the infirmary. And even if I did know something I am pretty sure that I have the right to my privacy, I don't even know you!" Hermione then jerked away from Lily and left for the exit.

"Hermione I'm sorry, this whole situation is weird and if you are involved with something dangerous I think I should know since I do live with you."

Hermione kept walking and said to her, "Don't worry, if you were in danger you would know. Dumbledore wouldn't risk your lives."

XXXXXXX

Hermione and Lily arrived at NEWT level potions at the same time but separately; Lily fuming about Hermione's secrets and Hermione about Lily's nosiness. Lily immediately went to the Gryffindor area of the classroom that consisted of Remus, Sirius, James, and one girl from Hufflepuff. The rest of the class was filled with Ravenclaw and Slytherin students. There were many open seats in the class, away from Lily, but taking any of those would leave Hermione isolated and she was already without supplies so that wasn't an option. After about a minute of debating and ignoring The Marauders' waves, Hermione took a deep breathe and sat down in the back next to the pale Slytherin she had noticed at the Welcoming Feast.

He barely had time to look at her in surprise and suspicion when Professor Slughorn came in. "Welcome class, I'm so glad that you all have chosen to continue your studies of potions. You all already know who I am so let's get started. Unfortunately, today will be a reading day so everyone please open your text books to page ninety-seven and begin reading." The large man was about to sit down and let his students do as instructed when Hermione raised her hand. "Yes Ms. Jean?"

"I'm afraid my school supplies won't be here for another few days."

"Oh, of course I completely forgot," he said, "Mr. Snape would you please share your book with Ms. Jean?"

For a split second Hermione wondered who Snape was before logic told her that it was the Slytherin boy she was sitting next to. Once that mystery was solved she was hit with the awareness that everyone was looking on with curiosity. As well as they could, at least, since they were in the back. _'Is there really nothing more interesting than the new girl sharing a text book?'_ as she casually scanned the curious—and in the Marauders case, furious—looks on everyone's faces her intuition kicked in. _'They don't care that I am sharing, they care about who I'm sharing with.'_

Hermione turned back to her partner to see that he did not appear to be too happy about the situation. Up close she saw that his hair wasn't as greasy as it appeared but still lank and generally uncared for. His large nose was not naturally hooked but shaped that way after at least two breaks. His pale skin was sallow and his dark eyes were literally black, it was almost impossible to distinguish the pupil from the iris. Thin lips opened and a deep smooth voice that belonged to a man spoke, "You had better be a fast reader."

Hermione's eyes narrowed in annoyance at his attitude. "I am actually," she snipped. He did not respond, instead he leaned over his text and began to read. He didn't bother adjusting the book's position so Hermione was forced to scoot closer and look over his arm to read. When she came closer he flinched ever so slightly at the intrusion of his personal space and slid the book between the two of them before adjusting his body accordingly. He leaned away from her and took on a more casual position to read that kept him as far from her as the situation allowed. Hermione was a little offended but did not complain. A few minutes into reading she was nearly done with that page when Snape picked up his quill and began scratching some notes in the book. He appeared to be changing some measurements and stir count when he remembered she was there. It was obvious that he wanted to change more but opted instead to turn the page while giving Hermione a pointed look. After a quick glance at his indifferent face and irritated eyes she returned to her reading, her concentration only broken when the corner of her eye picked up on Snape's movement as his reached for then retracted from his quill.

XXXXXXX

"What is she doing sitting with _him_?" Sirius asked irately. He had an empty seat right next to him so why did she choose to sit with the greasy git when could have sat next to him?

"Well maybe you scared her off earlier, you flirt," Remus answered, trying to lighten the atmosphere though he was also hurt that his new friend didn't choose to sit with him.

"Why would she want to associate with that git? She knew she was going to have to share," James said, ignoring his blonde friend.

Remus knew his attempts would be pointless and decided to ask Lily what happened since she had to know. "Why were you two so angry with each other when you came in?"

"Because we don't trust each other," Lily said irritably, visibly ignoring Hermione and Severus. "I don't know if I buy the whole amnesia story but either way there is something weird going on here. I don't trust her."

"Why though, what happened?"

"I woke her up today," Lily whispered as she leaned in closer to not be overheard, "she was covered in scars, bad ones. Whatever she went through to get them no one should go through. Then in the bathroom I asked that she tell me what was going on and she got all defensive saying she didn't know and that she definitely wouldn't tell me."

"Maybe she has a good reason."

"Maybe she has a 'furry little problem'," James suggested.

Remus shook his head, "Dumbledore would have told us and what does that have to do with text books?"

"We'll find out soon enough, like we always do. In the meantime I hope Hermione steers clear of Snivellus," Sirius commented, "Did you see how she had to lean over him to read earlier? I bet he did that on purpose."

"I doubt it, Sev-I mean Snape isn't one to flirt…" Slughorn cut off Lily and all the other gossipers.

"As fun as socializing is I'm afraid that must wait until lunch, please return your attention to your texts."

**AN: Sorry Lily lovers if she seems like a bitch (this is rated T, I can say that) but that is because from what I picked up in the stories she kind of is one. Oh and random trivia-like question, if you could have any job in the wizarding world what would it be? I personally would be an unspeakable**

**Now it is review time :)**


	6. Severus Snape

**Holy crap, I woke up late this morning to find so many reviews and favs and story alerts. I hope the rest of my story earns the same response as this chapter! Thank you Burnedx2, risi, Amusant, notwritten, Padme.G, worrywart, poscdm, and Fantasme Onamarinus for the reviews!**

**And thank you for agreeing with me on the whole Lily is a bitch thing! Though honestly I should have guessed other Snape fans would also hate or at least strongly dislike the woman who broke his heart**

**Disclaimer: the story line is mine and nothing else**

When potions ended, Snape slammed his book shut and stuffed into his bag before leaving the dungeons in a hurry. "What the Hell did I ever do to him?" Hermione mumbled in annoyance. She gathered her things like he had but much slower when she felt the presence of a few bodies approach her.

"Hey there was a seat right next to me, you didn't have to sit next to Snivellus," she heard Sirius say rudely.

Hermione straightened up and pulled her bag over her shoulder, smiling at her new friends and ignoring Lily. "Snivellus?" she asked confused.

Remus spoke before anyone else could, "Severus Snape, the Slytherin you sat next to."

"Oh is that his name? Fitting, his name sounds like the word _severe_, probably latin."

"Who cares what his name means? Why did you choose to sit with him?" Sirius asked.

Hermione narrowed her eyes in annoyance, "Well I am new here and I want to make new friends though he doesn't seem interested. Besides I think I recognize him from somewhere, I just can't put my finger on where."

"I thought you couldn't remember anything?" Lily sneered.

"I can't, not anything specific but remember vague things. I know my age but not my birthday for example."

"Bullshit," the redhead responded, surprising the boys with her language.

"Believe what you want Lily. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to Ancient Runes."

"Wait," as Hermione turned around a hand grabbed her elbow and turned her back. She found herself looking into James' hazel eyes who then let go of her arm and began to speak, "I don't know why you are angry with us but at least let us warn you about Snivellus."

"Warn me? About what? Sure he isn't the nicest of people but I'm sure there's nothing to _warn_ me about," Hermione stated.

"That's what I used to think," Lily said in a falsely sympathetic and very superior I-know-better-than-you tone. "I met him when I was eight and first showed my magic. He was really quiet and sweet but after he started hanging out with those Death Eater friends he changed. I tried to stay by him but a little over a year ago the guys were playing a joke on him and when I came to help he started yelling and then… and then he called me a…"

"A what?"

"A mudblood." Hermione's body naturally tensed at the word. It was the same word that was carved into the flesh of her arm, the one that caused Madam Pomfrey to flinch and Headmaster Dumbledore took pity on her. She did not know the exact meaning of the word but she knew the gist of it. It was a derogative insult that someone saw fit to brand her with, a brand that naturally caused her great shame. Another thing jumped out at Hermione as bad: Death Eaters. Sure the name made it obvious but the words caused a shiver of fear down her spine.

"What is a Death Eater?" The group looked at her surprised.

"They are You-Know-Who's followers," Remus answered.

'_Who on Earth is You-Know-Who?' _"Who is this person you guys are talking about? I've only been here a few days I have no idea who are talking about, is he like a gang leader or something?"

"How do you not know who he is?" James exclaimed. "He's only the darkest wizard of all time and he strives to eradicate all muggleborns."

"Oh…" Hermione took all these information in with as much discretion as she could. She felt that she needed more facts but knew that at this rate she would not make it to her next class on time. "Guys I have to go but tell me this Lily, has Snape ever called you that before or since?"

The redhead hesitated before answering, "No."

"Has he asked for forgiveness?"

"He did."

"And what exactly was the prank? It is my understanding that when people are distressed or embarrassed they lash out at people around them, particularly friends because their subconscious says _'they'll forgive me.'_ Did you ever stop to think about that?" James and Sirius looked a little angry that she was placing the blame on Lily, Lily looked ashamed and guilty, and Remus looked contemplative. Before any could respond to her, Hermione ran off for her Ancient Runes class.

As she speed through the hallways that held only a trickle of lingering students still, Hermione thought about what she was told of Severus Snape. She only met him a little over an hour ago and he spoke a maximum of seven words to her and yet he had already indirectly caused all this trouble. Maybe it was lingering feelings of angry annoyance towards Lily but Hermione felt compelled to defend the Slytherin boy. And from what few answers she had gleaned from Lily that seemed like the correct stance but then again she was an outsider who knew next to nothing about any of these people.

'_I'll worry about this later, it's not like I have to make a decision right now."_

Finally she reached the door of the Ancient Runes classroom at least ten minutes late. She slowly opened the door in a vain attempt at sneaking in. "Ah Miss Jean, you have decided to join us," a feminine voice greeted from the front of the room. The woman, who the schedule called Professor Rowan, turned around to look at Hermione along with the class. She was a short pretty woman with brown eyes and hair and wore dark blue robes.

"Yes ma'am, I'm sorry. I got lost…"

"No need for excuses, please sit down." Professor Rowan gestured her hand at the only empty seat in the small classroom. The seat right next to Severus Snape.

Of course the students who had also been in potions immediately began whispering things to their ignorant neighbors. Snape stubbornly continued to stare at the front of the classroom as Hermione walked up and sat down next to him.

"Good, now that that's all settled let's return to our previous conversation. Today I merely want you to review what you already know as well as using context clues to decipher the meanings of some new symbols you have yet to encounter." Professor Rowan pulled out her wand and gave it a quick flick, distributing scrolls to each student. "It should not be too difficult but I do want you to work with the person sitting next to you in order to translate the entire scroll. Once you are done with that, you will see that at the end there is a list of questions that I do want you to answer together."

Hermione heard Snape make a noise that suggested he really rather not. _'Well fine,' _Hermione thought, _'I don't want to work with you either.'_

The two silently began deciphering the scroll of Ancient Runes while the rest of the class buzzed with conversation. Even though they both heard the Professor say very clearly that they needed to work together neither one thought that she would actually enforce it. "Mr. Snape and Ms. Jean, why are you two not working together?"

"We did not believe it was necessary," the young man answered.

"Well I think this would be a wonderful opportunity for you two to get to know each other," Professor Rowan remarked with a smile. She then patted the desk as she continued, "I want to start hearing some conversation from back here, okay?" Her tone of voice was cheery but made it clear that they had no options right then.

"Yes Professor," the two pupils answered simultaneously.

"Good, now excuse me I need to go monitor the rest of the class." As the blue robed woman walked off to settle down a couple of rowdy teens the two she just left stared at one another. After a moment they turned back to their work and continued working, only now they spoke their thoughts out loud to fake conversation. It did not take them very long to finish their scrolls but then they realized that they had to ask each other the questions.

"Well, let's get this over with," Snape mumbled.

"Did I do something to offend you?" Hermione snapped.

"No," Snape answered. "I'm just not interested in speaking to people who associate with hypocrites," he sneered.

"Hypocrites? I have only been here a few days, the only people I've been associating with are the teachers."

Snape raised an eyebrow, "Oh? So you weren't with the so called Marauders?"

Hermione scoffed, "They came to me, I was grateful for some company. Unfortunately in the last few the majority of them have begun to irritate me."

"Oh really? May I ask who hasn't?"

"Remus Lupin. The rest of them can't keep their noses in their own business, especially Lily," she said forgetting that the young man next to her used to be friends with Lily. Hermione wasn't sure why she was giving all this information away since it was none of his business but the answers just seemed to roll off her tongue.

Hermione did not notice the tensing of Snape's muscles when he heard Lupin and Lily's names, instead pondering questions of her own. "So is this tension between you guys something personal or just inter-house rivalry? If Slytherin's are going to start treating me like you guys treat each other I would like a heads up."

"And why do you expect me, a Slytherin, to answer that?" he responded, slyly avoiding the question.

"You know, I really don't know. I suppose we should get started on these questions," the brunette said holding up the scroll.

**Sorry this is later than expected, my profile was a little screwy for the past two days and today it has been windy and stormy but this is my longest chapter for this story so far. Not the two-thousand words I hoped for at first but still**

**Oh and awesome piece of news, sherry-lin has offered to translate my Tomione one-shot ****Love Gone Wrong**** into Chinese, how awesome is that**

**As always please review**


	7. Copyright Date 1996

**Guess who went to their first midnight release? Me! Guess which movie? Hunger Games! While no movie can ever compare to its book this was pretty dang good :), unfortunately they had to tone down some things so it wouldn't be rated R :( Also some advice in movie theatre etiquette: kissing is okay but if you are going to do things that belong in the bedroom at least have the dignity to do it in the back row when the lights are off and no one is around, do NOT do it in the middle of a crowded theatre before the commercials even start! That's just nasty!**

**And no offense to Northern English readers, I picked up on the accent idea from another story**

**Thank you poscdm, Amusant, TheEscapeFromReality, notwritten, and Shorty653 for the reviews.**

"Okay, question number one: what are your two favorite school subjects?" Hermione read off.

"Potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts," Severus answered automatically.

Hermione nodded, "Alright, well mine are Arithmancy and Transfiguration."

Severus snorted, "Transfiguration? Typically Gryffindor."

"And your subjects _aren't_ typically Slytherin?" Severus conceded her point with a nod then looked at the paper and read off the next question:

"Least favorite subject?"

"Divination."

"Charms."

Hermione looked at him curiously, "How can you not like charms?"

"It's all a bunch of foolish wand waving. But what about you? You love Arithmancy but hate Divination, both endeavor to tell the future so what is the difference?"

"Divination is nothing but a bunch of wooly guess work whereas Arithmancy is based in numbers and logic."

"I guess that is one way to look at it…" the young man drawled.

"Question number three: Where are you from? Well I'm going to guess England, maybe around London."

"Cokeworth," Severus admitted trying not to sound ashamed.

"Isn't that up North? How come you don't have an accent?"

The dark Slytherin appeared surprised that she noticed his lack of accent much less bothered to ask about it. "I cover it up. I am not particularly fond of my natural accent for obvious reasons."

"What are your parents' professions?" Both students looked uncomfortable with this question. "I don't know…"

"Let's skip this one," Severus suggested curtly.

The rest of the questions were very much the same; simple, superficial, get-to-know-each-other questions but the class ended before they went any further. It was time for lunch and Hermione ended up sitting away from everyone else while letting her mind wander with the possibilities of what Dumbledore wanted to speak to her about. She had the afternoon off so she was to go to the Headmaster's office as soon as lunch ended.

Lily and James pointedly ignored her, Sirius seemed a bit angry with her still, Remus looked apologetic, and Pettigrew was just confused. Other students throughout the Great Hall took glances at her, talking about how she acted in class and spreading rumors about her origins and now stories about her encounters with Severus Snape. But the attention he noticed the most was Dumbledore and McGonagall's for obvious reasons. _'Do they know where I came from? Who I am? Why didn't they tell me earlier?'_ These questions and many like them plagued Hermione's mind throughout the meal.

Lunch passed by quickly yet slowly at the same time. The only conversation Hermione had the whole time was when Remus came over to ask if she was okay and was told that she was merely nervous. At the end Dumbledore and McGonagall came up behind her and asked her to follow them to the Headmaster's office.

The walk to the office was quiet and made Hermione even more anxious. _'What do they want to tell me?'_ At the gargoyle Dumbledore spoke the password, _cockroach clusters_, and a set of spiral stairs revealed themselves. The office was cluttered and had a portrait of every Headmaster/mistress in Hogwarts history on the walls. On the large wooden desk was a middle aged Phoenix cleaning his bright, flame colored feathers.

Dumbledore walked around the desk and patted the phoenix on his head before sitting down. McGonagall and Hermione followed suit and sat down in their own chairs. "Now Miss Jean," at the sound of her name all of the portraits' occupants gathered close and watched for her reaction. _'They must know what is going on.'_ "What did you find in those texts books of yours?"

"Just a possession charm and the information inside, why? Was there a curse or something in the books?"

"No, nothing like that child," the transfiguration teacher assured her. "We were just wondering if you bothered to look at the publishing information."

Hermione shook her head, "No, why?"

"Because Miss Jean," Dumbledore began dramatically as he leaned in closer to the younger woman, "The copyright dates claim these texts are from the year 1996."

Hermione stared at him blankly for a moment. "But I thought the year was 1976."

"It is my dear, which was why we were so shocked."

"Could it be a typo?"

"It is in every book."

"A stupid prank?"

"We checked."

Hermione stared off into space trying to think of some explanation. "But how can this be?"

"We are not sure but we have a few guesses. First you need to tell us everything you remember," Dumbledore said.

Hermione thought it over for a moment, trying to remember anything about where she came from. She could tell them more thoroughly about the people she 'recognized' or the Dark Arts books. No, she would keep the last part to herself. She felt that they would not approve of those books. "I recognize people, you two for example. I know I've met you before but I don't know where…"

Professor McGonagall nodded her head, "I remember you told me this before, after you were released from the infirmary. We must still be working here when you attended or when you will attend."

Hermione continued, "I recognize the Marauders, I don't trust Pettigrew-the second I met him I disliked him, was disgusted by him even. And Severus Snape, I recognized him too but I'm not sure I feel about him. Sometimes I trust, even respect him but other times I'm-I'm not sure."

"Your memories," Dumbledore interjected, "are trying to surface but your mind won't let them. You must know all of these people or their children in your time."

"But how can I be from the future, we don't have the ability to travel twenty years in the past. Even the best time turners can only go back a couple of days."

"We don't have the ability now but we may in the future. I don't know why you were sent here or why you so injured and unconscious but we will find out the truth, even if it takes twenty years," the old man said with a determined twinkle in his eyes.

XXXXXXX

Later that night Hermione sat alone in the Gryffindor common room staring into the fire. Most had gone to bed while the few studious students in the house started work on their homework. Hermione could not go to sleep but she didn't want to ask for a sleeping potion because Madam Pomfrey or worse Professor Slughorn would ask why. The thoughts of the future, her past plagued her mind. It was her first day of school and she was already rethinking everything. She tried to take her mind off of it by examining her scars which had reappeared recently. She traced each one with her index finger trying to remember how she got it. She looked at each one closely to guess how each one was received, which curse or weapon could have created it. She came to the conclusion that she must have seen war as she didn't show any other signs of abuse. But maybe that was why her mind was repressing her memories, she had been abused in her time. But then why was she sent back in time? A war seemed more plausible, post traumatic stress disorder could have caused her amnesia though she had never heard of that happening before. Maybe she just had severe head trauma.

One thing she did know for sure was that some of these scars were from torture sessions and not just that horrid word carved into her forearm. She curled herself into a ball in her armchair, closed her eyes, and tried to push the unpleasant thoughts from her mind, they weren't going to help her any.

She had lost track of time but knew it was far too late for anyone to be awake when she heard footsteps coming down from the boys' dorms. She felt a blanket being wrapped around her shoulders and a hand placed on her back. Before she could lift her head to see who it was she heard Remus' voice, "You want to talk about it?"

She looked up at the shaggy blonde and gave a small smile. "Yeah but I don't think I can." Remus nodded his head in understanding and the two just stared into the flames in the fireplace for a few minutes. "Remus, if I tell you do you promise not to tell anyone else, even the Marauders and Lily? And the teachers, I don't think anybody should know but I feel like I need to tell somebody and I think I can trust you."

Remus wrapped his arm around her in a half hug, "Of course Hermione, I promise."

"Okay," she took a deep breath. "The text books in my purse had a copy right date of 1996." The brunette let the words sink in and then looked up at her friend.

"So, you are from the future?" Hermione nodded. "Wow, no wonder you're down here, are you okay? Did you remember anything?"

"Sort of and no," Hermione answered respectively.

"Do you need a sleeping potion? I have some you could take."

Hermione wondered why he would have sleeping but decided not to ask. She said yes and thanked him after he came back with the potion. After biding him good night she went to her bed and took the potion which knocked her out almost immediately.

**AN: So her friendship with Remus may seem like it is going fast but I know if I was in that situation I would attach myself to somebody and confide in them, her intuition tells her that she can trust him, and out of everyone he seems the most likely at this point for her to confide in.**

**Please review and let me know what you think**


	8. Adena berries

**Thank you xmxoxoxnxy, poscdm, Gina619, Cida Potter-Snape, FantasyGirl20, cosmosalone200, and notwritten for the reviews.**

**Haftungsausschluss: Ich besitze kein Harry Potter, das gehort alles J.K. Rowling.**

The sleeping potion worked wonders and by the time Hermione woke up she felt well rested, perhaps too much so. Unfortunately the potion worked well enough that she slept in again, only now she didn't have Lily to wake her up. Instead she was woken up by a charmed paper airplane with a message inside:

_You should probably get an alarm clock. ~Remus_

Hermione smiled despite the annoying awakening; so far it seemed she made a good choice trusting Remus.

By the time she got down stairs, the Great Hall was emptying and Hermione had to go directly to her N.E.W.T.S Herbology class. When she arrived at the green house she asked the young teacher known as Professor Sprout for the necessary equipment today. Hermione tried not to think about why she needed to borrow supplies or about the fact that Sprout just seemed too young according to her 'intuition.' Instead she observed her surroundings, the greenhouse was much warmer than Scotland in September should be and a bit humid. On all of the tables were tropical looking bushes with bright red fruit growing on them.

Professor Sprout handed Hermione a pair of dragon-hide gloves and protective goggles. Hermione said her thanks and turned to see Lily and some girls entering the green house with Pettigrew following behind. Hermione ignored the redhead and went to stand by herself in a back corner much like Severus Snape had done in the opposite corner.

"Now everyone, settle down. Now, as you can see I have set up stations for all of you. These bushes produce adena berries; can anyone explain where they are from?"

One hand shot up followed closely by a second and then a few more hesitant ones. Professor Sprout called on the first person with their hand up. "Miss Jean?"

"They are tropical, Professor, and are most commonly found around the equator. They are related to and are the magical equivalent of the spicy peppers also found in the region."

"Very good Miss Jean, five points to Gryffindor for the answer and another five for the extra information. Now Mr. Snape can you tell me what makes the adena berries unique and how they are used?"

"They burn your skin much like their _relatives_ burn your mouth," Severus sneered in reference to Hermione's show off answer. "And they are used in a variety of potions all having something to do with heat."

Professor Sprout nodded, "Five points to Slytherin. Now everyone to a station, I want you to pick as many of the berries as you can. Remember to use your gloves and goggles and do not allow the juices to escape, they are valuable, very potent, and the fumes can damage your eyes even with the goggles on. The best way to accomplish this is to grip the stem firmly. The four students who pick the most without allowing the juices out will win a prize. There are some bottles of cooling potion if you end up burning yourselves or your eyes. Now, begin!" The students scrambled to make sure they got seats next to their friends leaving three chairs for the last two students: Hermione and Severus. Two were next to each other while the third was next to Pettigrew. Hermione, trusting her intuition that said stay away, went to take a chair away from the pudgy Gryffindor and was almost surprised to see Severus sit next to her. Almost, until she remembered how he seemed to hate the Marauders.

The berries honestly weren't that hard to pick it was obvious that Professor Sprout wanted to give them a simple that wasn't a blow off assignment.

"So…" Hermione began to break the silence between herself and her neighbor, "Do you think Professor Rowan will make us finish those questions?" Severus looked up at her in surprise and suspicion. "What? Am I only allowed to talk to you when we are partnered?"

"No." he answered curtly, Hermione wasn't sure to which question he was referring too. "I do not believe she will make us finish that inane assignment. You will not be forced to converse with me anymore."

"Forced? You refused to talk to me and I didn't feel like _forcing_ someone who didn't want to talk to me to talk to me."

"So what are you doing right now?" Severus sneered.

Hermione looked him dead in the eye. "You are intelligent, well spoken, mature, and you don't seem all that bad. You don't dislike me as much as you pretend to; you can't because I haven't done anything."

Severus thought for a moment and said, "Rival houses," as if that answered everything.

Hermione rolled her eyes, "Oh please, that is a horrible reason to judge someone. At least wait until I offend you before you begin to hate me."

"I never said I hated you," Severus drawled, "I just find you very annoying."

Hermione surprised him once again and giggled, "Sorry about that. Okay before any more conversation happens I need to know something. Should I call you Snape or Severus or what?"

The dark Slytherin turned back to his bush which he had begun to neglect and thought about his answer. Just about everyone here called him Snape or some rude name. Lily used to call him Sev but he always hated the nickname. It was just a name but it might be nice for _someone_ to call him Severus when they weren't trying to get him to do something for them like homework. Not that he ever fell for their ploys but Slytherins could be very persistent. He brought his mind back to the question and gave Hermione the answer she had been waiting for, "You may call me Severus."

Hermione gave him a friendly smile. "Okay then you'll have to call me Hermione. Oh and if you try calling me 'Herms' I will have to hurt you," she responded playfully.

Severus raised an eyebrow, "Herms? Who came up with that?"

"Some of the younger students in the Gryffindor tower," Hermione explained.

"Ha!" Severus barked, "Only a Gryffindor could come up with a name like that."

"Hmph, I happen to take offense to that."

"My apologies," he said sarcastically, "and I must correct myself, a Hufflepuff could easily come up with something as bad if not worse."

"Must you always insult people?"

Severus smirked, "Only when they deserve it."

"Okay students, time is up! Everyone, look up front," Professor Sprout called. Hermione took in the state of her classmates and saw that many people had used the cooling potion and only a few, herself and Severus included, still even qualified for the prize. "Now, the prize for today's task is a chance at extra credit," she announced to many groaning students and few interested ones. "So let's see who won shall we?" Professor Sprout went around the room inspecting the buckets of berries, ignoring those who had used the potion. After inspecting each bucket, and congratulating Hermione and Severus on their nearly full load, she went up to the front to announce the winners. "Severus Snape, Hermione Jean. Lily Evans, and Peter Pettigrew." The first three names were obvious but the last one shocked Hermione.

"How on Earth did he not mess up?" Severus asked.

"Well the stupid ones are normally the best at manual labor," Hermione said, her 'intuition' really did not like Pettigrew. **(AN: I really don't think that way, I hope I didn't offend anyone)**

"Who do realize you just indirectly insulted us as well?" Severus remarked smirking once more, it must be a Slytherin thing. Hermione had noticed that expression on many Slytherin faces.

"Sorry, I'm not good at this insulting thing," Hermione defended.

"Obviously not, now let's see what task our dear Professor wants us to complete." The rest of the class was then dismissed as the four winners went up to the front.

"Congratulations, now your extra credit is to accompany myself and Professor Slughorn into the Forbidden Forest to gather certain plants for his potion supplies this weekend."

'_Great,'_ Hermione thought, _'Going into the forest with the bitchy Head Girl and that creepy Pettigrew. This will be fun.'_

**Please review **


	9. Bullies and fickle friends

**I'm sorry for uploading the wrong chapter, hit the wrong button**

**Thank you xmxoxoxnxy, Russian Flower, HermioneFan28 , notwritten ,** **I'm home and Become's one with the story for the reviews.**

**I watched BBC's Pride and Prejudice miniseries today on Netflix, whenever I watch a period film or something of the like my inner voice picks up their dialect and accents. I have a feeling this may be picked up upon while reading this story. I'll say this, reading your reviews in eighteenth century British accents is very entertaining.**

**Disclaimer: my initials are not JKR, you know what that means**

The rest of the week went by uneventfully. Hermione and Lily ignored one another, three quarters of the Marauders paid her no mind, and she had every class with Severus where they spoke to one another but very little thanks to school work and their naturally quiet dispositions. She had a few more late night talks in the common room with Remus which always led to questions about the future. And every time, Hermione told him that she could not remember and feared that she never would. Hermione began to worry about her friend who had begun acting very odd and was looking more ragged than usual. On Friday their conversation had barely begun before he excused himself.

Saturday finally came and the Gryffindor common room was practically deserted as was much of the castle. Everyone was outside enjoying the nice weather, a perfect day to go outdoors, but Hermione was reluctant to join them. She had no one to associate with now that Remus was acting the way he was and she was sure Severus didn't want to see her now. It was hard enough getting him to talk during class. Not only that but he seemed to be a little more antsy than usual though she was sure she was the only one to see it. From what she gathered from her classmates' attitudes towards Severus, no one else would bother looking.

He was an outcast; that was very obvious. Very few Slytherin students spoke to him outside of class and people from other houses didn't even bother to do that. Hermione understood what that was like. Despite everyone's immense curiosity about her they never went out of their way to include her in their conversations. She was a bookworm, a know-it-all, and declared socially awkward due to stereotypes and circumstance. Indeed, Remus and Severus were her only companions here. A boy too scared of offending his friends and losing their attentions and a young man who was too used to solitude at this point to think of changing his ways for one girl respectively.

Evening approached and Hermione searched for something to wear into the forest as her school uniform seemed inappropriate. Inside her beaded purse, which held all of her earthly possessions, she found many changes of clothes suited for the forest. She settled upon a pair of blue jeans, a light blue hoodie like sweater, and tennis shoes. Most of the clothes would never fit in here at school, even the muggle-borns would find her fashion odd but they were comfortable and they were hers, one of her few connections to a future—or should we say past—that she may never remember.

Taking her wand with her, she went to the designated meeting place for their little expedition. Unsurprisingly, Severus was already there sitting down against a tree bordering the forest as he read a book. His lank, black hair created a curtain in front of his face with only his prominent nose showing along with perhaps a glimpse of his black eye from behind a few strands of hair. He was wearing denim jeans with a black shirt and boots that all looked a bit worn.

"May I ask what you are reading?" Hermione inquired as she approached him.

Severus looked up from his small but densely worded book and nodded in greeting. He then turned the cover towards her as he answered. "_The Studies and Breakthroughs of Vindictus Veridian_, an accomplished potioneer and former Headmaster."

"Sounds interesting, he was said to be brilliant. Actually I think I saw his portrait in the Headmaster's office that first day."

"Ah yes, the meeting that sparked a thousand rumors to go with all the others. I wonder what scandal can possibly overcome _your_ popularity," Severus remarked with a raised brow.

"I am _not_ popular, just an oddity to speak of when there is nothing better to continue a conversation," Hermione countered. "How late do you think they'll be?"

"Slughorn will become caught up in some conversation as will Sprout and Gryffindors are always late, so I believe we will be here a while."

"Do you always point out Gryffindor faults or is it just for my benefit along with any other lion who may be listening?"

"It is a school rivalry thing, don't start feeling special," he quipped.

"Thank you ever so much for humbling me," Hermione said sarcastically, "otherwise I would have begun to think I was becoming a favorite of yours." The breeze ruffled their hair causing Hermione to pull a hair tie from her wrist to tie back her curly honey-brown hair. Severus smirked at her troubles as the breeze caused such a simple task to become a little more difficult before he responded to her.

"I'll admit that you have more sense than most Gryffindors, but that is it." The Slytherin then shrunk his book to fit into his back pocket as footsteps were heard approaching. The pair stood and turned to see Lily arriving with the Marauders minus Remus and unsurprisingly to either, James' arm was around Lily's shoulders.

"Hello Snivellus," the bespectacled head boy greeted in a false friendly tone.

"Hermione, what are you doing hanging around with that _greasy git_? I thought that maybe you only dealt with him because you had to in class," Sirius said. "You can't tell me you honestly like him."

Hermione's temper flared, "Look, I don't know what happened between you all but I will not be sucked into it. I can associate with whomever I please." Everyone, with the exception of Hermione herself, had a sense of déjà vu. It was like Hermione had taken Lily's place. Lily detached herself from James and went up to the brunette.

"Didn't you listen to anything I said the other day? We're just trying to help…"

"I did listen to you, Evans," Hermione sneered. "Rest assured that I have been sufficiently warned and have come to my own conclusions. Based on the story and my own experiences here I have fit you into two categories," she looked at the boys, "bullies," then at Lily, "and a rather _fickle_ friend."

Lily's face grew as red as her hair, "He'll hurt you!"

"Then I will learn from my mistake and deal with it how I see fit, and trust me when I say that I will not look to your example."

Just then the two tardy professors came within sight and James and Sirius left with the later calling out, "Have fun, I wonder if the nearly full moon will shine through the trees." Lily and Pettigrew stood away from the other two students as the latter snickered over Sirius' farewell. Hermione walked back to Severus' side and leaned against the tree.

"Why do you defend me?" Severus asked quite seriously.

Hermione looked into his black eyes and answered. "I'm sorry if you didn't want me too. My temper got the best of me." She tilted her head thoughtfully, "I thought Slytherin's were supposed to be deceitful not our Gryffindor heads."

"We all have a little of every house in us. You never answered my question; why did you defend me?"

Hermione sighed, "Because I consider you a friend."

**AN: I'm sorry it is so short but I am being called away and this seems like a good enough chapter on its own. The Forbidden Forest will come next time**


	10. Forbidden

**I know it has been forever since I've updated, things have been getting busy so hiatuses like this will be more frequent but I promise not to be one of those people who take months to update. **

**I just want to thank everyone for their reviews, alerts, and favorites.**

**Disclaimer: not mine**

Severus raised a brow in disbelief, why would this girl reject the popular Marauders for friendship with him? Friendship that Severus still was a little uncomfortable with when he actually thought about it. Maybe it was just because coincidence had put them together so often this past week that she felt some sort of connection. And then he couldn't help but list every similarity between Hermione and Lily in his head: intelligent, temperamental, skilled Gryffindor witches willing to take a stand against bullying. At least until the victim upset them. Severus wondered if history would repeat itself, would he end up hurting Hermione like Lily claimed? Would she leave him? The answers to both questions were very likely yes given Severus' temperament and luck.

But neither of these were the biggest question on his mind. No, that was would he let her close. His natural answer was no but over the week he found that it would be hard to keep her completely out. She was one of the very few people on his level of intelligence and it was nice to have an intelligent, genuine conversation every once in a while. If anyone could become close to him, or at least as close as his natural defenses allowed, it would be her.

Severus' thoughts were interrupted by Slughorn and Sprout. "Good evening, sorry for the delay I hope that everyone is ready for our little adventure," the large potions professor greeted. The students nodded and an enthusiastic Sprout stepped forward.

"Here is a list of the ingredients we are gathering today, mostly certain types of fungi, moss, and bark. Remember that these woods are dangerous and there will be look-alike fungi and such that could be harmful so double check before you touch anything." The pieces of parchment were handed out as the group began to walk towards the forest.

"Ah yes, do be sure to avoid those. Wouldn't want a nasty rash before slug club dinner would we Miss Evans and Mr. Snape? Which reminds me, Miss Jean I would very much like to talk to you about joining our little club. It's for outstanding students to have little get togethers and get to know each other. Sometimes I even have some of my former students come to visit us. Your ability in potions and your other subjects—the number of classes alone would do the trick—suggest that you'd be right at home in my club. Just ask your friends." Hermione went to look at Severus whose facial expression changed just slightly to show that he was not a fan. Slughorn did not notice this and continued, "We'll be having a dinner soon and I hope you'll join us."

"I'll think about it, thank you for the invitation sir." Hermione then walked a little faster in order to catch up with the younger Slytherin who had strode to the front of the pack. She leaned in a little to whisper, "So what exactly is this…?"

"It's a horribly boring obligation to entertain him then later do him favors when you've made it big. He collects students with connections or the ability to form connections that will benefit him."

"So I shouldn't join?"

"Ha! You don't have a choice, he'll pester you until you join," Severus said. "All you can do is except and suffer though it, do you really think _I_ would want to 'get to know' my fellow classmates?"

Hermione shook her head, a little amused at the image that now appeared in her mind, "No, it's not exactly your thing is it?"

"No it is not," he said simply. They stayed quiet for a while as the large group inevitably broke up into smaller groups during their search. Hermione and Severus remained near each other as they both gathered their finds. Eventually they found a large tree covered in a thick coating of a dark blue-black moss that they needed. Harvesting it was rather simple, scrap it off with a knife, so as Hermione completed her task she allowed her mind to wonder and ponder the last week. In the end, her mind settled upon some rumors that were being circulated about her. Most of them were ridiculous and put an amused smile on her face but some piqued her curiosity. One in particular had been nagging her from the back of her mind and she decided that it was time to cure herself of this query.

"Severus?" The addressed merely raised his head a centimeter in acknowledgment from where he was kneeling. "I've been hearing some rumors…"

"That tends to happen here," he remarked dryly.

"Yes, well," Hermione continued, "There were some rumors concerning 'You-Know-Who,'" Severus stiffened a fraction, "Do you know who they are talking about?"

"Why are you asking _me_ this?"

"Because I have a feeling that you would tell me the truth," Hermione answered.

"Any other reasons?" the young man asked suspiciously, narrowing his black eyes.

"Do I need another reason?" She could have mentioned that Death Eater comment by Lily but that would no doubt upset Severus. She didn't know if he believed her but he answered anyway:

"He is a dark wizard whose name is not said, he has been gaining influence in the wizarding community particularly with dark, pure-blooded wizards. He and his followers are ruthless, that's all that needs to be known."

"Is there a reason people think I'm his daughter sent to spy on Dumbledore?"

Severus laughed, not a full laugh or even all that genuine but more of a laugh at the expense of his gossip mongering school mates. "Interesting, I think I have heard that one. You did show up rather suddenly, but that is completely impossible. He has to be almost sixty years old and from what I can tell he hates kids."

"I wonder what is the most creative rumor you heard?"

"About you? Let me think…" Severus looked thoughtful for a moment as he continued to scrap off the moss, "I guess the international spy and time traveling ones were pretty good."

Hermione froze for a moment. Did Remus betray her secret? Did someone overhear her conversation with Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall? Or was it just coincidence? She regained her composure before Severus looked at her again, "Time traveler?"

"Yeah they think you were experimenting with a time turner or some artifact from the Department of Mysteries and got lost in time. Ridiculous what some people come up with."

Hermione forced a laugh, "I know right, I guess it doesn't really matter though. I don't remember anything and therefore won't be able to go back to my home country with all of the UK's secrets."

Severus stood up and looked at her, "How did you lose your memory anyway?"

"The accident, remember? The headmaster announced it to the whole school."

"I recall, but what was the accident?"

"I don't know. I can't remember anything before waking up in the infirmary. I know things, facts about magic and history and such but I don't have any memories." Hermione was getting a little upset and her eyes began to water, why couldn't people leave her alone?

Severus backed off at the signs of her distress. "No need to cry, I'll refrain from asking anymore questions."

Hermione sniffed, "thanks." The pair walked back the way they came and stumbled upon Pettigrew who had gotten himself lost. Severus reflexively sneered while Hermione inched away from the other Gryffindor, unknowingly inching into Severus' personal space. Pettigrew noticed this and began taunting the Slytherin.

"What's the matter, Snivellus? Can't go into the forest without your girlfriend's protection?" Severus choose to ignore the most insignificant member of the Marauders and continued on his way to the rendezvous point. The portly boy then turned his attention to Hermione, "Honestly why would you want to be with this git? Are you that desperate?"

That seemed to flair Severus' temper who turned to send a hex at Pettigrew only to be stopped by Hermione defending herself. "Shut up Pettigrew. One my personal life is none of your business, two neither want to hear you speak, and three we are not together nor am I in any way shape or form 'desperate.'" Just then the teachers and Lily arrived, the later received some whispered comments from Pettigrew which caused the redhead to shoot a look of disapproval at Hermione. Guessing Pettigrew's message, Hermione groaned "And here begins even more rumors."

XXXXXXX

Later that night Severus entered his dorm in the dungeons and was greeted by a regal looking owl waiting on his bed with a letter. He instantly recognized it as belonging to a good friend who had graduated about four years before. He was perhaps Severus only real friend despite the age difference but was also the largest source of pressure to join the Dark Lord. His arguments were convincing and his reasoning sound but Severus was not yet ready to sell his soul to anyone.

He removed the letter from the owl's foot and gave him a treat before opening his post to read. All of his dorm mates were already asleep so he had no worries about anyone reading over his shoulder.

It was a typical letter talking and asking about life in general, his new wife, inquiries about the DADA teacher of the year, and of course hints about joining the Dark Lord. The end however caught his attention.

_There are rumors about a mysterious new girl at Hogwarts and I must ask for your opinion about it. I have heard that you have been spending time with her, perhaps too much. I must remind you of your blood status and your need to associate with the right people. A Gryffindor who is most likely a mudblood does not fall into that category. _

_I look forward to your reply_

_~Lucius Malfoy_

**Again I am sorry I hope the longer than usual length makes me forgiven. No it doesn't? :(**

**Please review**


	11. He's not worth it

**So yeah, been really busy especially the last few days: prom on Saturday, edgefest Sunday (for those of you who don't know aka anyone who doesn't live in DFW, it's this awesome huge concert with 15 bands, look it up) and I had a job interview Monday(no job but at least I'll have more time for ya'll)**

**Oh and I have a Pottermore account, Go Slytherin, please add me= IceFeather13196 and leave a message here saying what your username is so I can give you a nickname**

**Anyway thanks for all the support, reviews, and such and for waiting for my slow butt. As ya'll know I do not own HP now onto the story**

After Severus finished writing back to Lucius, he watched the regal bird fly away into the night to deliver it. He had made sure to convince his friend that he had no interest in Hermione—which he didn't—and that he was well aware of his position. He knew that in Lucius' pure-blooded point of view that his friend was just looking out for him and attempting to help make up for Severus' status as a half-blood. He also mentioned that while she was intelligent and very talented for a muggleborn the only thing that was truly interesting about Hermione was her seemingly non-existent past.

The rest of the letter was filled with pleasantries, news, and another refusal to attend a dark revel. Of course his refusals were worded carefully so that the option stayed open for the future. His Slytherin nature showed him that this might be a good opportunity in the future; one never knows what might happen next.

For now though he was his own man and he wanted to sleep. He wanted to sleep in tomorrow morning to make up for the nightmares he would have the next night. Nightmares about the full moon.

XXXXXXX

Hermione was woken up Sunday morning by the sound of giggling gossips. As she crawled out of her bed—after applying the proper glamour charms of course—she saw Lily and her other roommates sitting by the windowsill making those annoying, aforementioned noises.

When the girls heard Hermione getting up Lily put on a superior self satisfied look as the other two attempted to stifle their conspiratory giggles.

"Good morning," Hermione said politely, or as politely as she could just after being woken up.

"Good morning, Hermione," Lily replied in a saccharine tone. "Did you have fun last night?"

"As much fun as you can have working in the Forbidden Forest I suppose," the brunette answered warily.

One of the other girls, a blonde Barbie doll looking girl by the name of Penny, spoke up. "Hermione you have to tell us the truth since Lily refuses to say anything," the girl said with a roll of her eyes.

"That depends, what do I 'have' to tell you?"

"About you and Remus of course!" Penny squealed. "Cindy and I saw you guys talking in the common room the other night, are you two dating yet? Why are you keeping it a secret? I mean, he's so cute and smart too."

"Remus and I are just friends, nothing more. I'm sure Lily could have told you that."

"Yes but they wouldn't have believed me," Lily said, "besides I think you _might _like somebody else." Cindy, a short brunette girl, and Penny erupted with countless questions about the identity of this new mystery boy.

Hermione of course knew who Lily was referring to and she narrowed her eyes at the red head. "Actually Lily, I'm not interested in anybody at the moment. Now if you'll excuse me I have to get ready for the day."

Hermione swept into the bathroom and attempted to get ready as slowly as possible to prevent going back to her room and the gossips any sooner than she needed to. But she could not stay in there forever and eventually she came out fully dressed with her wild mane pulled back into a ponytail. The room was empty now and Hermione assumed that they were finally going to breakfast. She grabbed her shoes and left to go down to the Great Hall herself when she heard some familiar voices coming from the Common Room.

"I bet he's using some sort of potion," James' voice announced soon followed by Lily's reply.

"No, her eyes would be clouded over. Besides I don't know for sure if she likes him, but I know he likes her. He would not tolerate her otherwise."

"Didn't you hear her defending him?" Pettigrew's voice whined. At this point Hermione could see the entirety of the common room and saw Lily and the Marauders—minus Remus—were alone in front of the fireplace. She decided to hang back in order to eavesdrop on their conversation.

"I used to do the same thing and I never liked him like that."

"Why did you ever associate with that loser?" Sirius asked.

"I meet him when were kids and he taught me what magic was, told me that I was a witch and not a freak."

"So you felt obligated?"

"Does it really matter? Besides you guys did start your little war."

"Well guys we better get down to breakfast, we need to eat before tonight," James said.

Pettigrew looked confused, "Why?"

"Full moon, remember? Which reminds me, do you think Snivellus will tell her?"

"No. After I saved him from your little prank I heard Dumbledore threaten him with expulsion should he ever tell anyone." The group seemed relieved and a little happy about this news and left the room. Hermione wasn't sure what that last part was about, only that Severus was being forced to keep some secret of theirs, but she knew who the first part was about and was quite irritated about it. What a great way to start the morning.

XXXXXXX

Much later in the day as the sun was beginning to set Hermione was found in a secluded corner of the Library reading. She had lost herself in the book hours ago and had no intention of resurfacing anytime soon. Alas she rarely got what she wanted.

Her soft brown eyes were reluctantly pulled from the pages as she sensed the approach of a certain Head Girl. Hermione had to admit that Lily truly seemed to believe she was in the right and she was persistent about 'saving' Hermione so she couldn't be all bad. But that did not change the fact that she was wrong and was testing Hermione's last nerve.

"Hermione," the red head greeted in an almost sad tone.

"Lily."

"Look, I know what you are going through…"

"No you don't and as I said last night I don't care for your opinion." Hermione abruptly stood up and fixed Lily with a stubborn and defiant stare. "I will choose my own friends with or without your unwanted approval. Now if you'll excuse me I have better things to do with my time."

Lily stepped in Hermione's way blocking her path. "I don't know why you are so stubborn about this! I used to think he could change but he proved me wrong and he'll prove you wrong, too."

"At what point did I say I was trying to change him?"

"Maybe you do have a crush on him, but I am telling you right now he isn't worth the trouble!"

Hermione stood there silent, how did you respond to that? Did Lily really think so little of him? Lily continued thinking she was winning, "It's impossible to have a real relationship with since he's so anti-social and he just isn't worth the effort."

Finally Hermione stepped around Lily and, without looking back, said, "Don't talk to me about this again, if at all."

**I know this is short, it's the first half of a planned chapter, and that it has been a while but I promise the next chapter will be done by tomorrow, Monday at the latest. I have to leave my laptop momentarily and just felt like a good stopping point and I feel bad not posting anything. Please review.**


	12. Full Moon

**So it is Sunday evening, let's see if I can get this chapter done and posted by my deadline.**

**Disclaimer: not mine**

"'_He's not worth it,' how can you say that about a person? Especially a peer who, as far as I can tell, has done nothing wrong!"_ Hermione was fuming on behalf of her Slytherin friend as she left the library and began to wander the castle corridors. She did not want to go to the common room just yet knowing that she would just end up running into Lily or one of the marauders.

Hermione passed by a window and stopped to go back and enjoy the view. Summer was already dying and autumn was to return soon and tonight the weather seemed quite delightful. Curfew was coming soon but Hermione could not resist the charms of the outdoors at the moment. So she snuck back towards the front of the school preparing some excuse as to why she was heading out should a teacher stop her. But no teachers were present at the entrance and Hermione slipped out unimpeded.

The air was crisp and cool and the setting sun painted the sky just before it dipped below the horizon. The stars were beginning to twinkle and a bright full moon eased its way up into the night sky. Hermione walked around the perimeter of the school, not wanting to get lost, and made sure to keep close to the walls in case she needed to duck into an alcove. However the only noises she heard were that of her feet crunching the grass and the breeze blowing through the plant life.

She had lost track of time when she heard the creaking and groaning of wood and unintelligible voices carried by the wind. Hermione flattened herself against the ancient stone wall and made to scoot back to the main entrance. But at the sound of a familiar barking laugh Hermione's curiosity forced her to at least take a peek at sources of the noises.

She inched as quickly as she could, careful not to make any noise, towards here targets and finally got close enough to take a quick look. The first thing she noticed was a large, very active tree that she had heard about. It had earned the nickname 'Whomping Willow' for its aggressive nature towards anyone who came to close. Apparently students came to school six years ago to find that the tree had been brought to the school over the summer for reasons the school has yet to give. Its large, club like branches were currently taking swings at three figures that were approaching.

Hermione recognized them almost immediately. The short, chubby figure of Peter Pettigrew, the cocky swagger of James Potter, and the laughing Sirius Black. Unexpectedly Pettigrew began to shrink. Hermione was baffled and focused her eyes to make sense of what was happening, when she did she saw a small rodent like creature crawl out of Pettigrew's clothes. _'Animagus? Impossible, they are far too young and Pettigrew isn't exactly intelligent.'_ The rodent dashed towards the tree and disappeared into the ground, probably a hole. Suddenly the aggressive tree stilled and froze, as this happened the other two boys began to transform as well; Sirius into a large canine of some sort and James into a large deer.

Hermione decided she had seen enough, she really did not care what they were doing she convinced herself. But as she tried to leave canine Sirius lifted his nose into the air and turned his head toward Hermione. He transformed back into a person and yelled out, "Hey look guys, Snivellus' girlfriend is here." James and Peter also morphed back and they all came walking towards her. "Did that greasy git send you here to spy on us? What a coward!"

All of them were laughing and Hermione yelled back, "Spying? I came out for a walk to clear my head of you idiots!"

James spoke next, "Yeah right, wonder how much he told her about Moony… Shit!" James abruptly turned around and ran straight for the whomping willow when a loud growling noise came from it.

XXXXXXX

Severus was wondering the halls like he usually did when plagued with insomnia. This meant just about every night but particularly during the Full Moon. That night from fifth year still haunted him at night and the near death experience prevented him from sleeping at all at least one night each month. His roommates were used to his night time restlessness and never questioned it when he left.

Severus ambled throughout the ancient corridors skillfully hiding whenever he hear a noise. The castle always seemed to provide an out for him and not once during all his time in Hogwarts was he ever caught except for when the Marauders were involved. He began to come near a large window that he knew overlooked the Whomping Willow and its surrounding area. He tended to avoid it as the sight of the tree would fill him with fury. Black had tried to kill him! Lupin was a werewolf! And not only did Dumbledore let them get away with it, he also threatened Severus if he should ever tell anyone! People deserved to know about a werewolf attending their child's school and the other three boys should be in jail for being unregistered animagus. Not to mention Black should get even longer jail time for attempted murder. But no Sirius was pulling a prank, the boys were helping their friend, and Lupin didn't choose this life. _'That last part may be true but that doesn't make him any less dangerous,' _Severus thought to himself as he remembered the snapping, snarling hungry face of Lupin's werewolf form.

At this point Severus was right by the window and as he heard the tree still he couldn't help but look out just for a moment…

He saw Black and Pettigrew standing in front of Hermione as Potter transformed to try and fight off the werewolf currently escaping from below the Whomping Willow.

XXXXXXX

A loud snarling noise ripped through the air as James once again transformed into a stag. Sirius was quick to follow his example as Pettigrew cowered away. A howl momentarily interrupted the snarling and put all the pieces together for Hermione: Remus was a werewolf. It explained everything from his scars to his mysterious illness. She didn't understand what the Marauders were thinking coming here when they obviously knew what was under there. In fact it looked like they were going under there too.

She didn't have much more time to think when the werewolf jumped out from the ground. She could not believe this monster was her friend, her fireside companion at night when she could not sleep, the one person she trusted with the truth about the future. Now that shy, smart shaggy blonde boy was a tall, skin and bone, terrifying monster. The boys were holding him off as well as they could but were none the less being inched backwards, constantly losing ground against this beast. His bright yellow eyes turned towards Hermione and the now rodent form of Pettigrew and the wild look in those orbs became even more pronounced. He had cited Hermione, the lone human in the area, and now had a target.

Hermione knew she had just become prey and was going over everything she knew about werewolves and the best way to escape. Unfortunately while she could think of all the things she should not do—running, looking him in the eye, etc—she could not think of anything she should do. She was trapped, frozen in fear of doing anything wrong, and in danger either of becoming a werewolf herself or dinner.

Out of nowhere a spell hit Remus in the side and had effectively distracted the beast. Hermione and the boys turned to see where the spell had come from and saw Severus standing there aiming his wand at Remus. He did a very good job at hiding his emotions but the occasional tremors revealed his true fear. Hermione remembered the conversation in the common room this morning and Sirius' taunts from last night and realized that at some point Severus had found out about Remus and that this was the secret he was being forced to keep.

The werewolf regained his bearings and the dog and stag began to attack again as Severus shot off some more spells. Finally Dumbledore, accompanied by Pettigrew who must have snuck off at some point, came to the scene and also began casting spells. Hermione thought about helping but could not seem to make her hand listen and move towards her wand.

At long last Remus was forced back into the hole with the Marauders following close behind. Severus and Dumbledore came over to where Hermione was standing, still frozen in fear. "Come to the infirmary Miss Jean, you too Mr. Snape, we should discuss a few things." Dumbledore strode back to the castle as Hermione was led by Severus who had to grasp her elbow to get her to move.

**So since it is Monday afternoon, no I did not make my deadline :( I do know what I am doing for the next chapter so that should make it come out faster but I will be out of town and unable to write until Thursday afternoon and even then I have another story that needs updating. Hopefully though the next update should be sometime this weekend.**


	13. Favoritism

**I watched Sense and Sensibility, Alan Rickman played Colonel Brandon. That man in gentlemen's attire/colonel's uniform and smiling equals swooning.**

**Oh and this is my first story to ever break 10,000 hits and it is nowhere close to being done! Which reminds me, those of you who thought this was going to be a short story get comfy because will be my longest story to date by far.**

**Disclaimer: still not mine**

The trio was silent as they walked through the castle halls towards the infirmary. Dumbledore kept about a yard of distance between himself and Severus who was still towing a nearly frozen Hermione. When the three entered the infirmary doors, Madame Pomfrey rushed to them asking what happened. After determining that the infirmary was empty and that no one would over hear them Dumbledore told the nurse that there had been another incident with Mr. Lupin.

The nurse gasped and turned to look at the two students. "Honestly Albus, something must be done about this!" she began to scold. "Mr. Snape please take Miss Jean to lie down on that cot there, I will go fetch some calming draught." The nurse bustled away to her office from which the clanking of glass bottles were heard as she searched.

Severus pulled Hermione to the indicated cot and turned to leave when Dumbledore spoke. "Mr. Snape you have not been dismissed."

"I'm sorry, sir," the young Slytherin said with barely there politeness. "I did not realize I was still needed."

Dumbledore summoned a chair to Hermione's bedside for Severus to sit in, which he did reluctantly. "I do not think I need to remind you, Mr. Snape that this cannot be spoken of."

"I heard your threats the first time sir, I have not forgotten," Severus answered curtly.

"Would you please tell me why you were down there tonight? Especially after your last experience."

"I saw that beast free and about to attack out the window," Severus explained and then he sarcastically said, "Now I presume I will have detention for being out past curfew."

"Of course you will Mr. Snape, but since you helped save a fellow student I suppose it should only be for one night. Would you please tell me why Miss Jean was there?"

"How would I possibly know that?" the younger wizard spat.

"I assume you dropped some hints…"

"I did nothing of the sort, though your precious Marauders certainly did. I don't think I need to remind you that they are anything but subtle. If she knew what she was getting into it was because of them."

"And why would they do that?" Dumbledore said calmly, a complete contrast to the frustration that Severus was showing right then.

"They were taunting me as usual, specifically Black. Though to be honest I do not think Miss Jean is stupid enough to go confront a werewolf, she is not as foolish as the rest of her house."

"High praise coming from you, Mr. Snape." Severus merely grimaced in response. Just then the nurse came in with a bottle of calming draught, her last apparently since Slughorn was behind in his brewing.

During the conversation between Severus and the Headmaster, Hermione had been listening trying to make sense of things. Was Dumbledore really foolish enough to let a nearly full grown werewolf attend school? With only his adolescent, animagus friends as a means for control? And why the hell was he threatening Severus? Had the Headmaster not noticed the fear in the younger man's eyes that he was so desperately trying to hide? But perhaps she shouldn't be so confused by that last question, she seemed to be the only one to ever notice Severus' emotions.

Madame Pomfrey tipped Hermione's head back to pour the potion down her throat. The patient could feel it working very quickly as a calming, relaxing sensation spread through her tense muscles. The wizards had stopped their conversation and silently waited for the potion to take full effect as the nurse examined the patient for any injuries. Thankfully there were none, something very few people could say after an encounter with a werewolf. After Hermione visibly relaxed, Dumbledore turned to face her fully.

"Miss Jean, you had quite the adventure tonight didn't you?" Severus snorted and Hermione felt like doing the same.

"I guess that's one way to put it."

"Miss Jean would you mind telling me why you were out there tonight?"

"I was taking a walk and lost track of time. I was about to come back in when that bea- when Remus appeared."

Dumbledore raised a brow, "Did you know of Mr. Lupin's condition before hand?"

"No of course not," Hermione sounded insulted, "though now that I look back it seems rather obvious. I guess hindsight really is twenty-twenty. Do you really think I am so stupid as to think it is a good idea to go near a werewolf?"

"Apparently he does," Severus mumbled under his breath. This went seemingly unnoticed by the Headmaster as did everything Hermione said after she answered no.

"Now Miss Jean, I realize you are stressed right now but I must make it clear to you that you can never speak of this to anyone, we wouldn't want Mr. Lupin to be attacked would we?"

"No but…"

"Tell anyone and you will be expelled."

Fury filled Severus, he kept it hidden just below the surface of his irritated mask but he let it burn. He had almost this same exact conversation with the Headmaster nearly two years ago. How dare he? People hailed him as one of the greatest headmasters of all time and yet he was perhaps one of the most prejudiced. And not just in favor of his house as previously thought, no it was in favor of his favorite little pets. Not even Hermione was safe, and why? Because she had rejected these pets seemingly in favor of Severus, the headmaster's least favorite student.

Severus was separated from his angry thoughts as he heard Hermione argue with Dumbledore. "Sir, Remus is one of my only friends here and I do not want to hurt him but he needs help. Something must be done to keep the student body safe, three animagus cannot do that!"

"It has worked just fine before. Reveal his secret to anyone and I will reveal yours. Oh and Miss Jean you do have detention for being out after curfew." And with that the older wizard left. Madame Pomfrey was still there and was obviously as angry with the situation as the students but she said nothing as she could do nothing about it.

"Neither of you should be put through this. Severus you may stay here, I know you won't sleep anyway, I'll make hot chocolate for the two of you." She left the two teens for her office to begin making the drink and the teens sat there quietly.

Finally after a few seconds that felt like hours Hermione broke the silence, "Why does he treat us that way? We really did nothing wrong."

"It's because he hates me, has given me up for a lost cause," Severus answered a mater-of-factly. "And until you yell out that you hate me and go become a member of his little group you will receive the same treatment as I do. In fact, falling in love with one of them might help."

Hermione scoffed, "As if I ever would, Remus is a friend and nothing more. The rest are obnoxious bullies. Besides I don't hate you."

Severus was somewhat touched by her last statement but didn't let it show. "Even after tonight you count Lupin as a friend?" he sneered.

"Well I can't really blame him can I? He has helped me get through the last week what with Lily's behavior and all. She doesn't get her way once and suddenly I'm the enemy."

"Why were you out there anyway? If you just went to your tower like a good little Gryffindor this wouldn't be happening."

"Don't get snippy with me, as if you are one to talk. And I already told you I went out for a walk."

Severus reigned in his irritation at the situation, it wasn't _completely_ her fault and he had been in that same situation before. "I saw you in the library earlier today; why not take a walk then? Not much to see at night."

Hermione sighed, "I didn't want to go back to the tower. Ironically, I was trying to avoid that particular group of boys and more specifically Lily."

"What did she do this time?"

"She was trying to convince me that hanging out with you is a bad idea again."

Severus stiffened a little. "We do not 'hang out' we see each other in class. And maybe she's right; maybe associating yourself with me is a bad idea."

"I don't think it is. I get along with you better than any of the other students I have met here. Remus comes in second though I'm not sure if I'll be able to talk to him for a few days."

"I'll admit, despite his 'furry little problem' he is the most tolerable of the group. Hermione, I'm not one that spends lots of time with people or plans outings to Hogsmeade with a group but we have already decided that we are friends," the word felt odd on his tongue, "so if you wanted to hang out I would not object. The rumor mill is relentless though."

"It has already started thanks to Pettigrew." Madame Pomfrey returned with two steaming cups of hot cocoa for which the two recipients thanked her. She checked Hermione's temperature and left a bottle of calming draught on the side table before returning to her office.

They sipped there drinks in silence until about ten minutes later when Hermione noticed Severus was staring, specifically at her left arm. Hermione looked down at the arm that had captured her companion's attention when she saw that her sleeve had rode up and realized that much more time had passed then she originally thought. She quickly pulled down her sleeve in order to hide the 'ood' but it was too late. "Is that a part of your secret?" Severus asked.

"Yes, before you ask let me explain something. The amnesia is real, one of the reasons Lily doesn't like me is because she doesn't believe me but it is true. I don't remember anything and what we know of my past is just a guess really." Hermione wanted to tell Severus, she really did, but her intuition was unsure. It did not trust Severus as much as it trusted Remus. "Please wait until I am ready to tell you before asking me anything."

Severus tore his gaze from her arm and quickly swept over the rest of her body examining all the other nicks and scars she had littering her body. He finally looked up into her eyes. "I believe you and I have no problem waiting."

XXXXXXX

A month went by without incident. Hermione and Severus did see more of each other but not because they went out of their way to do so. They already sat by each other in every class and now if they saw each other in the library they'd share a table or in the hallway they would talk on the way to their next class. Almost every conversation ended in a debate over one thing or another but always ended on good terms.

The rumors flew just as expected and were ignored. The Maurauders scorned the pair more than ever with one exception.

A week after the incident Remus caught Hermione by herself in the common room.

"Hermione I am so sorry, I know you don't want to talk to me or even see me but…"

"You know nothing Remus, you just think that. It wasn't your fault. And don't worry, you kept my secret so I'll keep yours. Now sit down, I haven't spoken to you in forever," Hermione said patting the couch cushion beside her. Once again the pair resumed their nightly talks.

**So what do ya'll think? Please review**


	14. Pretty and Scars don't mix

**Random beginning intro note: I saw some pictures of young Alan Rickman, dang he was cute. Wish he had a son (or maybe grandson) who looked remarkably like him that I could randomly meet.**

**As of right now I will never have homework again! Until college starts :( oh and I know the Zabinis were neutral during the war but as a teen I think Zabini may have been more outspoken.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own**

The crisp October breeze rustled the leaves outside of the library window. Halloween was fast approaching and all of the students third year and up were in Hogsmeade buying sweets and other various things for the holiday. Hermione however was in the back corner of the library and for once it was not merely because of her love of learning. She did not have permission from a guardian or any money to spend. Surely the rules could have been bent and money loaned from the school but she hated feeling like a charity case especially when her support came from Dumbledore.

While it was not quite hate, Hermione had developed some strong, negative feelings towards the Headmaster after the werewolf incident. How could he do that? Treat herself and Severus as if they were in the wrong. Remus may be innocent of his actions during the full moon but he was no less dangerous. The brunette felt horrible thinking this about her friend, her only friend other than Severus. Despite being here for a little over a month the Gryffindor hadn't made anymore friends. The other Gryffindors followed Lily and her marauders, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs were nice but none became more than acquaintances, and the Slytherins all hated her for her presumed heritage. It was only a matter of time before someone started looking at the wizarding family trees to find her name. Sure enough the name Hermione Jean was not found in any records and taunts of being a mudblood began.

Every time she heard that word as she trekked through the hallways, Hermione became ultra aware of the scar on her left forearm and felt the overwhelming need to scratch at it. After the first day, which was the worst day, Hermione went to her dorm wondering if she could scratch the word out of her skin. That was the beginning of October and every day since she ended the day crying on Remus' shoulder. Her days were spent studying in back of the library where Severus would eventually join her. When their concentration was not on their homework one hundred percent Hermione would mumble and complain about prejudiced pure bloods and gossiping teens while Severus agreed and occasionally added scathing remarks about certain classmates.

Right now Hermione was immersing herself in Edgar Alan Poe to distract herself from what was said just that morning. A Slytherin girl, fiercely beautiful in every sense of the word despite her cold demeanor, shared her opinion of Hermione's appearance with her friends. She knew Hermione was there and made sure the Gryffindor heard every word about her frizzy hair, girlish figure, and plain face. She declared that the rumors about Hermione and Severus were ridiculous as Hermione wouldn't be able to capture any boy's attention. Severus obviously must want her to do his homework or something. When Hermione defiantly walked past, the girl—Adelina Zabini—laughed and said, "Did you hear me? I'm sorry though it really shouldn't surprise you. Your mirror should tell you as much, not that you had a chance with any boy in the first place being a mudblood and all."

Hermione walked away calmly then hide herself in a little nook in the library, scratching at her arm while trying to force her mind not to examine Zabini's words.

Zabini seemed to be of the minority with the opinion that Severus had no interest in Hermione. By everyone else it was said that Severus and Hermione were hopelessly in love and inseparable despite the fact that they really didn't spend _that_ much time together. For example, if he didn't see where she was sitting he would sit somewhere on his own but the fact that he continued to associate with Hermione fueled the rumor mill's hungry flames. Continuing the relationship instead of joining the other Slytherins in their taunts logically, in a teenager's mind, meant Severus had possessed a great undying devotion for the Gryffindor.

But now Severus was doing something he hadn't before, something that could be considered a step in their relationship. Severus was _supposed_ to go see Lucius in Hogsmeade while the older wizard was there for business. He still would go see his friend later that afternoon but he would have to walk to the magically village instead of riding in the horseless carriages. An inconvenience and Severus never inconvenienced himself for anyone except for Lily. And that only happened after some convincing on her part, he never chose to inconvenience himself before. Yet here he was, walking to the library, actually looking for Hermione.

He refused to let himself question his actions; he wanted to see her so he would. There was no particular reason why except that a conversation with her would be more enjoyable than spending the morning in Hogsmeade either alone or listening to idiots tease him about his preference for 'Gryffindor mudbloods' as he waited for his meeting.

He entered the library swiftly earning a sharp look from the startled Madam Pince. He swept past her before she could begin to reprimand him and thus Hermione was still unaware that a third person was in the library before Severus was right next to her. It took him a bit to find her hidden away and when he did he saw her scratching her arm as he had seen her do before, engrossed in a book. He announced his presence by sitting in the chair next to hers with much less grace than usual in order to rip her attention from the novel she was reading.

Surprised chocolate brown eyes met cold black ones when she looked up from her book. "I thought you were going to Hogsmeade?"

"I will later," he answered curtly. "May I ask what has ensnared your senses to the point of being completely unaware of your surroundings? You are normally much more alert."

"Oh, I was reading."

"Obviously," he drawled with a roll of his eyes.

"_The Fall of the House of Usher_ by Poe, have you ever read it?" Hermione inquired.

"No but it must be good, you realizing you are scratching again?" he asked raising a brow as he tends to do.

Hermione blushed and tucked her left arm behind her back, "You- you noticed that?"

"It is hard not to. You do it whenever you are upset so tell me, who am I to help you insult today?"

Hermione looked back down at her book, "I would rather not talk about it."

Severus didn't pressure her, he could understand keeping things hidden and actually preferred it. As much fun as it could be making fun of her attackers he was still a male, an antisocial one at that, and didn't want to hear people's problems.

Severus found a book of his own to read and they sat in companionable silence. As they started reading, Hermione had pulled her arm out from behind her back. When she finished reading the short story she lifted her head to look out the window and caught sight of her reflection in the glass pane. She observed herself as Zabini's critiques ran through her head. Her hair was frizzier than most and completely unmanageable some days. Her face wasn't ugly but it held no beauty, her normal face would never stand out in a crowd.

Then there was her body. She wasn't girlish but she wasn't nearly as curvy as some of the girls here. Then she began to see what no one else did: her scars. Most of them were well hidden by glamours but she knew where each one was. And there were those that could not be hidden by magic, simply under her clothes. One in particular bothered her greatly, the large gash like scar crossing her torso. Whatever spell wrought it was very dark and refused to be hidden. That and the vile word carved into her arm were her worst, the most marring and hideous. If Adelina Zabini saw those what would she say? If any man saw those surely they would be disgusted.

Severus watched Hermione out of the corner of his eye as she examined her reflection. He ignored it as she got up and went to grab some more reading material but he was curious when she returned. In her arms she carried a spell book of glamours and beauty enhancement. Hermione wasn't a girly girl and she definitely did not put that much effort into her appearance. That wasn't a bad thing in his mind; in fact it was very practical. So what does she want with a book like that? Does she have a crush on one of the idiots here?

"You are not going to turn into a brainless dimbo on me, are you?"

Hermione's head snapped up from the page she had begun to read, "What are you talking about?"

Severus ripped the book from her hands and waved it in front of her face. "I am, quite obviously, talking about this."

Hermione snatched it back with a glare, "It is not impossible to be smart and pretty you know."

"Don't give me some lecture about men oppressing women. I'm merely wondering since you've never cared about being pretty before."

Hermione's eyes began to water as she interpreted his words. She didn't think of Severus like that but it would have been nice to hear him say something that could be taken as a compliment like "It's not necessary" perhaps.

Severus rubbed his temples and ran a hand through his black lank locks. "What did I say wrong?"

"Noth-nothing. But what exactly is wrong with me wanting to be pretty for once?" she asked holding back sniffles.

"Who said you weren't pretty?"

"You just…"

"I said that you didn't _care _not that you were unattractive. Pay attention to word choice, now who said you weren't pretty and made you all upset?"

Hermione wiped away the moisture in her eyes. "Well apparently you didn't so…"

"I meant earlier, who caused you to go find that book? And don't lie to me, it'll just be annoying."

Hermione hesitated before answering with a mumble, "Adelina Zabini."

Severus raised his brow again, "Her? The girl who will grow up to be nothing more than a gold digger? You actually took what she said to heart? Honestly Hermione, there are times when you possess no sense at all."

"Well some of what she said was true."

Severus snorted, "I doubt it. I won't lie, you are no great beauty but you are not unappealing." The Slytherin turned to le a curtain of black hide his face and the faintest of blushes that could be seen there.

"Maybe…" Hermione mumbled doubtfully, tracing her scars in her head. Severus was making her feel a bit better but he hadn't seen what she really looked like.

"If you don't believe me I'm sure there are any number of males here willing to back up what I am saying." He was getting a little uncomfortable with the path this conversation was taking, "If you'll excuse me I must leave for Hogsmeade." He stood up and made to stride out of the library when he was caught in a pair of small arms.

Hermione immediately jumped back and put her arms behind her back. "Uh thanks, Severus."

**Ahhh, do they like each other? Eventually yes but right now it's just maybe**

**So please please review so I will be motivated not to make you guys wait that long ever again**


	15. Stress

**Happy Memorial Day to all my fellow Americans!**

**So Friday was my last real day of high school. I have two finals to take this week. Graduation this Saturday. First day of college at the end of August. Holy Crap.**

**Also random story: We are the first graduating class from our school so we wanted to do our senior prank right. I was not involved but the prank involved rats, crickets, water guns, birds, SNAKES!(love Slytherins hate snakes on a phobic level) baby oil, blow up sex dolls, etc, etc. resulted in the police department and another local school's security being called in to help. It was less a prank and more a creation of chaos**

**At least we are not like our neighbor school that I went to for freshman year. All I know is it ended in a full on riot with lots of damage particularly to windows and a full lock down. A big change from the past few years of teacher approved pranks**

**The best part was that it started so innocent, we had stink bombs and they had string tied everywhere. They were distracting the teachers from the real stuff that was about to erupt**

**Disclaimer: I'm about to be a broke college kid, this wouldn't be a problem if I did own Harry Potter**

The walk from Hogwarts to Hogsmeade was cold, dreary, and miserable. Some would say the weather went perfectly with Severus Snape's general attitude.

With a scowl on his face people would see nothing out of the ordinary in the dark Slytherin's attitude except that maybe he was grumpy about missing the carriages to the village. Of course he was the only one walking down the path from the castle since everyone else was already at Hogsmeade. Severus had fifteen minutes to get down to the Hogs Head to meet Lucius for a couple drinks. If he was not there on time then he would have to come up with some excuse for being late that Lucius would believe. While Severus usually enjoyed the older wizard's company there were times when it was just a burden. Not only would he try to persuade Severus to the dark lord's side but he also lectured Severus on how to redeem his half blood self in the pureblooded world's eyes.

"You have the potential, the intelligence, and the strength. If only your mother was not a blood traitor, you would do the wizarding world proud." Whenever Lucius began to lecture Severus would let his mind wander a bit like it was now as he walked. What was he pondering you ask? Why, that small hug from Hermione of course.

How many times had he ever received a hug? Never in his recollection, his only real friends were Lily and Lucius. Lily never liked him that much and not at all now and Lucuis was too proud and a guy. There are very few occasions when guys hug and none if you were a proud pure blooded Slytherin. His mother must have embraced him at some point in his infancy and perhaps some paternal grandmother or aunts that Severus had not seen since the day he was born.

Why did she do it? Obviously it was to say thanks for making her feel better but why a hug? Surely she could have just said thanks and gone back to her books. But no, she decided to use a more intimate gesture and it made Severus a good bit uncomfortable. After a life like his, human contact was not generally considered a pleasant thing. Hermione's hug was a huge invasion of privacy and personal space, something she seemed to realize quickly to Severus' relief yet… Once he got past how unfamiliar it was, the embrace was not _that_ bad. But that was not the most important thing to be thinking about in regards to the hug. The most important question was why would she want to do that? Why would she want to hug the 'greasy git'? It was odd enough that she wanted to hang out with him. Did she… No of course she did not _like_ him.

'_Stop it Severus, the last time you read into some kindness too closely you ended hoping and being disappointed by Lily,'_ the teen scolded himself. It was just kindness, yes that was what it was, Hermione was just being friendly.

'_Friendly? The only other person she's even on speaking terms with is Lupin unless you count the teachers. You never know, maybe she does like you,'_ an inner voice told him. Severus reminded himself that everyone else spread rumors about her and told his inner voice to shut up. He was thoroughly convinced that it was a mistake on her part and that she had absolutely no feelings for him, she probably hugged Lupin all the time. He was not going to let one little slip up cause him to think about her too much and cause another unrequited, unattainable crush. He had learned his lesson with Lily and he would not repeat that mistake. Sure she was smart, and kind, and pretty but that did not mean he had to like her. They had the same love of learning and spent a lot of time together but as they had been saying for the past few weeks, that didn't mean they were in love. Yup, Severus had no feelings for Hermione what so ever, he was sure of this. Except he really wasn't all that sure.

XXXXXXX

When he finally arrived in Hogsmeade he scowled at all the immature children running around the magical village as if they were still in muggle primary school. They all took advantage of their parents' absence to spend their allowances however they wished, mostly in the joke and sweets shops. Considering that Quidditch is the only form of exercise here in the magical world it would not take long for all of these children to become obese like Slughorn. _'I should start running,' _Severus thought to himself. Sure he was already pretty skinny but it wouldn't do for him to be out of shape.

"Severus!" an aristocratic voice called. The Slytherin turned to see Lucius exiting one of the few buildings not flooded with children. Lucius had skin as pale as Severus' but not sallow, long platinum blonde blonde hair that was almost white pulled back into a ponytail with a black bow. His clothing was subtle in order to not attract too much attention but screamed out his wealth once you did see it. His dragon leather boots had a slight heel to them that caused him to be a couple centimeters taller than Severus with whom he was usually the same height. His cape emphasized his broad shoulders and that he was of a wider and more muscular build than the leanly built Severus. But the most striking feature that Lucius Malfoy possessed was his ice cold, steel gray eyes. "Severus! Getting here a bit late aren't you?" the older wizard inquired as he meet with Severus in the middle of the road and lead the younger towards the Hogs Head.

"Late? It is two minutes before we are supposed to meet and you appear to be just getting out of a meeting. Therefore I am not late and if you continue to insist that I am then so are you."

"Now now, no need to be touchy. I was merely pointing out that you seem to just be arriving in the village while everyone else has been here for hours now."

Severus shrugged, "I decided not to take the carriages this morning."

"Why ever not?" Lucius asked incredulously. In the eyes of someone such as he, rich and magical, walking any great distance must appear to be a horrifying task. It made Severus briefly wonder how people like the Malfoys get around their large estates since they seem so against walking. Perhaps it was just walking out in the elements, especially on a day as miserable as this that seems baffling.

"I rather not wake up early to spend my morning with these fools waiting around for you," Severus explained with a sweep of his arm towards some rowdy fifth year Gryffindors wrestling on the sidewalk while two prefects walked by too busy flirting with each other to stop the shenanigans. "And the only shops I'm interested in are the book store and the apothecary, as you know. Those two can be taken care of after you leave."

"True, it seems like a smart idea. But now you have to deal with an unwanted consequence."

"Walking? I am not adverse to a little exercise."

Lucius let out a short laugh, "Don't be ridiculous my friend, you are skinny enough. Perhaps we should go to restaurant instead of this bar."

"Hogs Head will do even if it is dirty, honestly do they even clean it?"

"I'm not sure," Lucius sneered, "But it is this or the Three Broomsticks with all those obnoxious children. I think my next business investment should be a decent bar here."

"You wouldn't have enough patrons to keep it running. Maybe you should just buy Aberforth out."

"He's a Dumbledore, he wouldn't agree. I'd have to pay an far too much then it's worth before he cracks."

"Perhaps that is why it is so dirty," Severus mused, "Dumbledore's office is a mess with all that clutter. Maybe it is a family trait to be so untidy."

The two Slytherins were now at the front door of the dirty, shady bar. Each had thoughts of going to the Three Broomsticks but neither said a word and they found a secluded table to sit at. After magically cleansing the table and chairs and ordering a couple of firewhiskeys—Lucius paying Aberforth to clean the bottles—Severus cast his muffliato spell.

"So Lucius, what have you been up to since your last letter?"

"Well Narcissa and I have some news. We believe she may be pregnant," Lucius declared proudly.

"Well congratulations," Severus said.

"We are not sure yet but if she is we were wondering if you would be the Godfather?" Severus was taken aback by such an offer. "You are the only person we know that we can trust with this responsibility. We only what's the best for our son or daughter."

"I would be honored Lucius. Tell me as soon as you are sure of the pregnancy."

"Of course. So I have heard that you may have your eye on some witch," Lucius said, changing the subject to what he truly wanted to discuss.

"Lucius, you should know better than to listen to gossips," Severus said smoothly as he took a sip of firewhiskey. He was going to need it with where this conversation was going.

"Yes, well I've heard you have a crush on yet another Gryffindor mudblood," Lucius claimed with a raised brow.

"And you believe this because? Besides there is no proof that Jean is a muggleborn, she could have come from a foreign family or was orphaned at a young age."

The blonde smirked as he ignored the question, "Their blood may be dirty but I have to admit you have good taste. You've chosen the two mudbloods our Dark Lord is willing to grant pardon to."

It took years of conditioning not to visibly react to that, "What on earth are you talking about?"

The smirk grew, "Both Lily Evans and Hermione Jean have shown a great amount of intelligence and power on par with many purebloods. The Dark Lord is willing to offer them a place amongst us in exchange for their cooperation. If they refuse then they will die. Plus if we get Evans then Potter and his lackeys are sure to follow."

"They are too headstrong, neither would ever work for the Dark Lord," Severus insisted.

"Evans perhaps will be difficult to persuade but Jean is still moldable thanks to her amnesia. We could even convince her that she is a pure blood orphan. And with you persuading her…"

"I haven't even been persuaded, Lucius."

The young Death Eater narrowed his eyes, "I highly suggest you stop resisting, Severus, the Dark Lord grows impatient. Think of it this way, if you agree and get your little girlfriend to agree you will both be safe from the Lord's wrath and you'll get to live together happily ever after. I'd still suggest finding a nice pure blood or even half blood girl."

Severus knew this would not be an easy decision and life would not be 'happily ever after' no matter what choice he made. "I'll think about it."

"You have at least until the new year before you have to decide. I do have two questions about this girl."

"Fire when ready."

"What?"

"Sorry muggle saying, I have unfortunately picked up a couple over the years."

"I guess that's normal, anyway what I want to know first is is she a good dueler?"

"We haven't had a chance to duel but I have a feeling she's pretty good."

"Okay, see if you can fix that. Second, has she joined Slug club yet?"

"I think she is finally going to relent and go to the next one."

Lucius smirked again, "Good because I've been invited to that one. It seems I'll finally get to meet your little girlfriend."

"Not my girlfriend," Severus mumbled under his breath.

XXXXXXX

A couple hours later and Lucius had apperated back to his mansion and Severus was in the book store. Now the Dark Lord and Lucius would be breathing down Hermione's neck and since she knew nothing of what was going on and she had no other friends besides Lupin it would be Severus' job to make sure she didn't make any stupid decisions. She was in Gryffindor for a reason and would probably be rash without any guidance.

So now had no longer his own life to deal with but a future Malfoy's and sort of Hermioe's to an extent. Why couldn't his life ever be normal and filled with regular stresses like 'what should I do for a summer job'?

He was looking through a potions text when he heard the familiar noises of Marauders come into the store.

Severus took a deep breath to steady himself as Black approached him. "Thinking about your girlfriend, Snivellus? I'm surprised she'd stoop so low to date a greasy little Death Eater like you."

"You know Black, it would be a shame to damage all those books behind you when I blast you."

"As if you could-"

"I don't think that is necessary," came Lupin's calm voice of reason. "Sirius, we are heading back to the castle once Lily checks out her book." Black nodded but didn't move. "Just go before I have to report you, you've done enough now grow up."

Black looked surprised at his friend's backbone and left. Lupin did not follow though, when Black was out of sight he turned to Severus, "So how was Hermione this morning?"

Severus was surprised, "How did you-"

"I can smell her," Lupin said pointing at his nose.

"Of course, I forgot surprisingly. She's fine just normal stuff."

"Alright and, uh, thanks for saving Hermione last month." Severus simply nodded and Lupin took this as his cue to leave. Severus followed soon after with all the events of the day playing through his head. He remembered to add 'warn Lily of approaching Dark Lord' to his list of things to worry about. Ah, to live a normal, relatively stress free life.

**So first to all of you canon freaks—I use the term lovingly since I myself am one—who have noticed that the Malfoy pregnancy is like three years early don't yell at me I will explain in the next chapter or two.**

**Also are you guys happy with the extra long chapter? 2,377 words without the author's notes. Ideally I would like to keep updating with chapters this length but obviously that doesn't always happen.**

**So please please review and tell me some of your senior prank stories. Are they as crazy and apparently newsworthy as mine or more tame? Did anyone have actual pranks? Oh and another little story: one of our other district schools had a Hunger Games scenario complete with (fake) weapons, I wish we had that**


	16. Trust

**I GRADUATED LAST NIGHT! Top 15%, distinguished grad, and I feel good. I'm also rather impressed with how far I threw my cap, I thought it went into the row behind me but it actually went all the way to the other side of the "block" of students. I don't know why I feel the need to type this up even though I know that very few of you guys read it but whatever, onto the story.**

**Disclaimer: my initials are not JKR oh and thanks FleurSuoh for being the one hundredth review**

_Severus,_

_Cissy and I are happy to confirm that we are expecting our first child. We should be able to discover the gender in a few weeks though I am confident it will be a boy. As for now we are keeping the news under wraps so as to avoid the stress of the pure blood community welcoming a new child._

_The both of us would like to see you soon, hopefully Cissy will be able to attend Slughorn's Christmas dinner. If not I will more than likely still be in attendance and can't wait to make Miss Jean's acquaintance._

_-Lucius _

Severus read the short letter twice more with a smirk before putting it in his pocket. Of course macho Lucius must have a son first. Severus wondered if his blonde friend ever realized how easily his name could be shortened to 'Lucy' or that most girls were so jealous of his hair.

Amusement aside, Severus was happy for his friends and proud that he was to be named the Godfather. He wondered how the pureblood community would react to that bit of news. Actually, how would He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named say? Did Lucius think of what might happen if Severus continued saying no? Probably not, Lucius was sure in his abilities to sway Severus.

But those thoughts could be postponed for just a little bit longer, until New Years at least and it was now Halloween. Severus had just come back from the celebratory feast where the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, a man named Sutton, announced his plans for a dueling club starting after the first Quidditch match. The school had tried having this club quite a few times in the past but while in never stuck till the next year the club was always very popular. Each teacher had a different reason for starting the club and Sutton's was Severus' persuasion. The young Slytherin convinced Sutton that with the war brewing outside the castle walls it would be prudent to prepare the students to defend themselves. Why did Severus do this? To see Hermione's skill of course. While the idea was originally Lucius' to determine her usefulness to the Dark Lord, Severus had to admit that he was curious and he knew she would need the practice anyway no matter her future decision.

The thought began to bring stress out of the dark place Severus had hidden it for the day. He still had not yet spoken to Hermione, or Lily for that matter, about the Dark Lord's offer. He knew for a fact Lily would not listen to him but he wasn't sure about Hermione, she had barely any knowledge about current events and only knew what people told her. Lucius was both right and wrong about how moldable she was due to her amnesia. He could inform her about the war and Dark Lord in a way to make bias one way or another. But at the same time she was smart enough to cut through the bullshit, do her own research and make her own decisions.

He personally did not want to be mixed up in this mess but his life was doomed to be woven into this war the second the Sorting Hat yelled Slytherin. The only question now was how his thread of life will be woven in this war's fabric.

XXXXXXX

The first Quidditch match came a week later and, as always, featured the arch rivals Slytherin and Gryffindor. As Severus walked to the pitch with his gloved hands buried in his jacket pockets he wondered why someone decided to put the Slytherin and Gryffindor stands right by each other. Even with the towers acting as barriers the arrangement just seemed like a really bad idea. Everyone made their way to their house stands all while yelling taunts and boasts and Severus was thankful that this time he did not see any unwanted Gryffindors. Usually Black and Pettigrew would take advantage of the game's atmosphere to bully him more openly.

He would have continued on his way to the stands, eyes open for any sneak attacks, had his eye not caught sight of an oddity. Amongst all of the energetic hyped up lions there was one that was hesitant to continue following the crowd forward. It only took a second to identify the honey brown curls.

As if she sensed his gaze, Hermione lifted her brown eyes to look into his black. Severus nodded at her in greeting and meant to leave it at that but Hermione had other ideas. She jogged over to his side earning looks of disgust, betrayal, and confusion from those who saw her.

"Hey Severus, do you think I could sit by you?" the small brunette asked timidly.

Black, hell even bumbling Pettigrew could have snuck up on Severus at that moment. He was in complete shock at her question. "Are you stupid?" he asked without thinking.

It was not until he saw Hermione's hurt face that he realized what he had said. "Well I'm sorry, I thought my company was welcome." She turned on her heel to leave before Severus grabbed her shoulder.

"No, wait, that came out wrong. It's just… you do realize that we are in rival houses right? And that they are playing each other today and these games get rowdy, don't you?"

"So? We could sit in a neutral set of stands," Hermione suggested as she adjusted her red and gold scarf.

"There is no neutral at this game!" Severus exclaimed. "Everyone has a side and one of us would be attacked in some form, most likely myself, if we sat together. Besides it's pretty much an unspoken rule that you stay with your house, not to mention what housemates would do to us afterwards."

"You act like they'll physically attack us, I don't mind a few more rumors."

Severus gripped the bridge of his nose with his eyes closed, "You have obviously not been here for very long. Look why not sit with your Gryffindor friends and I'll see you later?"

"I don't have any besides Remus, remember? And he is with Sirius and Pettigrew."

"What's wrong with being by yourself?"

"I actually don't like Quidditch that much. You know what? Forget it I'm going back to the castle." Hermione huffed away and Severus involuntarily followed after.

"Wait Hermione, hold on."

She turned around angrily, "What do you want?"

'_What do I want?'_ Severus wondered. He really had no reason to be following after her. "Um, why don't you like quidditch?" _'Yeah great question, idiot.'_

"I'm just not a big fan of it. I don't get the big hype everyone makes about it. It's noisy, dangerous, and pretty hard to follow from the ground. I normally just pay attention to everyone else's reactions."

"How many games have you been to?"

"I don't know, amnesia remember?"

Severus thought for a minute about what he should do if anything. He really didn't like her walking away angry with him or the idea that she'll be all alone in that giant and now empty castle. Then an idea popped into his head. "Follow me," he said simply as he strode off in the direction of the broom shed. Hermione had no idea what he was planning but followed out of curiosity.

He stopped in front of the dilapidated looking shed and pulled out his wand to cast a silent alohomora. Severus stepped inside for a second before coming back out with an old clunker of a broom. "It doesn't look like much but it gets the job done, now let's hurry before the game starts. There's a spare broom in there for you to take."

"Severus what are you talking about?" she asked bemused.

"We are going to fly and watch the game from above, much more entertaining I find. We have to disillusion ourselves first though," Severus explained.

"No thanks, I don't fly. I'm going back to the castle." She was prevented from leaving once again by Severus.

"You never learned how to fly?" he asked with his eyebrow raised. Hermione momentarily wondered how he did that before answering.

"Of course I've learned I just don't like it."

"So in other words you're not very good at it," Severus teased.

Hermione blushed in embarrassment, "That's not what I said."

A loud roar erupted from the pitch, "Come on the game is starting you can fly with me." Hermione was about to protest when Severus pulled her onto his broom and sat behind her. He cast the disillusionment spell and kicked off all before Hermione could really comprehend what was going on. They shot up into the air before leveling off above the Hufflepuff stands.

Hermione clung tightly onto the broom, eyes wide. "This really isn't safe."

"Some Gryffindor you are. Besides it is perfectly safe, I'm not a bad flyer. I could have been on the team in fact."

"Oh? And why aren't you?" Hermione asked trying to hide the nervousness in her voice.

Severus hesitated before answering. "My broom isn't nice enough or fast enough," he mumbled. He didn't like admitting his poverty though just about everyone already knew of it. He could have accepted Lucius' offer to let the older Slytherin buy him a new broom in fourth year but that would have wounded his pride and put himself in his friend's debt. One of the top rules of Slytherin house: never be in debt to somebody especially another Slytherin.

Hermione picked up on his hesitation and didn't prod anymore. "Okay, so you are sure this is safe?"

"As long as the snitches and bludgers stay away," Severus said under his breath.

Hermione didn't hear since she wasn't meant to, "What did you say?"

"I said we are perfectly fine now stop asking questions and watch."

For the first ten minutes the two floated there quietly with a few remarks coming from Severus as he watched. They slowly drifted around the pitch's border as time went by sometimes moving deliberately to get a better view. It was not until Hermione shifted up a little to get a better view that Severus was made aware of their exact position.

Before, there was an acceptable amount of space between the two of them, the only contact was when their arms bumped each other. But now her bottom was dangerously close to his crotch and her back was ghosting against his torso. Whether this happened gradually or suddenly with her movement he was not sure but it really did not matter at the moment.

The two rarely had any physical contact. In fact bar the attack when he dragged her, a few weeks ago when she hugged him, and today he could not remember any incidents. The first time and when he stopped her today he was not really thinking about the contact but when he hugged it was the only thing on his mind. He felt like that again as Hermione continued to be oblivious to what she was doing.

The air began to feel awkward and thick so he attempted to cut it with some comment and maybe then Hermione would finally notice. "Why do you call Pettigrew by his last name?" A random question but one he has wondered for a while now.

Hermione shrugged, "Because I don't like him." She thought that would be satisfactory answer but Severus had picked up a little something in her voice. That along with past observations showed that she more than disliked the chubby Marauder.

"You don't like Black or Potter but you call them by their first names," Severus pointed out.

"Well I dislike them less."

"What did Pettigrew do? You hate him, don't deny it."

Hermione looked down, a mistake which caused her to back up into Severus purposely for some sort of anchor. The height freaked her out and while Severus mentally groaned that this was not helping his situation at all she stopped filtering her every comment. "I don't remember it's just my intuition."

"Your what?" Severus asked.

"Uh it has to do with the amnesia and my secret past," Hermione admitted. If only she were in her right mind she wouldn't have said that.

"Are you going to tell me about that now?" Severus inquired eagerly though he tried to hide it.

"No not yet, just that I kind of know things about certain people, like whether or not to trust someone. Professor Dumbledore thinks my memories are trying to resurface. Anyway my intuition really doesn't like the rat."

Severus chuckled, "Okay that's weird and a bit suspicious but whatever. What does your intuition say about me?"

Hermione blushed a little, "Well I don't know. It recognizes you; it wants to trust you but…"

"But it doesn't?" Severus said curtly.

"No it's just not sure, at least not at first but I think now I could trust you."

"Oh really?" he asked skeptically.

They watched the rest of the game in a terse silence. Sure no one trusted him but Severus was a little peeved that Hermione didn't. The fact that she was still pressed against him didn't help. He could have told her to move but didn't want to bring any more attention to it. His mood only improved as he watched Slytherin crush Potter and his team in the end. As he began to descend back to the ground Hermione tensed up.

"Ha ha, it's kind of pathetic I'm so scared isn't it?" Hermione asked.

"Mmhmm."

"Severus… do you think you can give me flying lessons? So I can do this myself?"

Severus thought about it for a moment. "Do you trust me enough?" he asked softly. They landed then and after dismounting and ending the spell Severus went to put his broom up.

Hermione stayed where she was getting irritated with his attitude. "Would I be asking you if I didn't? I said I didn't trust you _at first_ when you were still the jerk who would glare if I tried talking to you."

"Touché, okay I'll help you. But I should warn you that I'm not a patient teacher."

**First day of summer spent writing this, my mom wasn't too happy wants me to be more social and all that. So I have a few more chapters planned and now I just need to write them along with my other ongoing story that I've been neglecting.**

**Now since I graduated yesterday I want graduation presents from all of ya'll in the form of reviews, please and thank. Don't forget that I welcome constructive criticism.**


	17. Trauma

**My muse is working very hard this week and it's all for Amnesia, good for you guys bad for my other readers. Oh and anyone who has read my other stories know that I'm not the best with fight scenes but I shall do my best!**

**Disclaimer: why do I keep doing this? Ya'll know I don't own this**

Since this whole club was Severus' idea Professor Sutton felt that he should help set up the dueling stage. The Defense teacher and Headmaster had decided to use the Great Hall for this first session. Setting up the stage was relatively easy with the use of magic and now Severus was helping Madame Pomfrey set up a small healing station for any injuries sustained today. He was currently arranging all of the healing potions he had 'helped' Professor Slughorn brew over the previous two nights. In truth Slughorn just sat there and praised his pupil's work.

The first dueling session was to start in thirty minutes and everyone was expected to come and at least watch but only those fifteen and older would be allowed to fight and only against those with a similar amount of skill. All one had to do to volunteer was raise their hand to fight anyone or yell out a challenge and the teachers would then say yes or no. For example a fifth year would not be allowed to fight a seventh year unless said fifth year or was very good or seventh year was very bad. This was all a bit of an experiment. The point of this club was to teach the students how to fight and defend themselves but nobody wanted any of the students to get hurt. Madame Pomfrey in particular was muttering all sorts of things about how this was completely irresponsible and dangerous.

Ever since Slytherin's victory over Gryffindor all of the talk that filled the hallways and common rooms was about the Dueling club. Who they wanted to see fight, who they wanted to fight, and of course a lot of boasting. Severus personally was looking forward to fighting Potter and Black individually and showing them exactly what they were dealing with if they ever got the guts to face him one on one. Lupin had never actually attacked him—as a human—and was Hermione's friend so Severus had no desire to fight him. Pettigrew was weak excuse for a Gryffindor; a coward and could only get a hex in if his opponent was already down so that fight would be a waste of time. Though, absolutely humiliating Pettigrew could be fun. He wondered what would happen if Hermione fought Pettigrew; she hated him, had a fiery temper, and was skilled in just about every area of magic. No doubt she would be skilled in some hexes; yes it would be much more fun to see her duel Pettigrew.

For the past hour the only noises were the voices of Pomfrey, Dumbledore, Sutton, and McGonagall and the moving of equipment. This was broken when the large doors opened up. The voices of all the students waiting outside floated in and were then cut off when the doors closed. Severus looked over to see who was coming in and saw Slughorn and Hermione. Slughorn's voice boomed through the hall, "I'm so glad you have found time in your busy schedule to join my little club. I knew that you would."

Hermione politely smiled and nodded her head, "Thank you sir for the offer. I think I should head back out to the hallway though with the other students."

"Nonsense, I'm sure you can stay here. We don't mind, do we Albus?"

The Headmaster twinkled at the two of them. "Of course, in fact Ms. Jean would you come here? I'd like to discuss some things with you and Madame Pomfrey. Then perhaps you can help Mr. Snape finish up."

Neither student was thrilled to hear that the Headmaster wanted to speak with Hermione. Ever since the full moon incident Hermione had been placed with Severus in Dumbledore's opinion. The only difference was that he seemed to have some hope for her.

Hermione obeyed the elderly wizard and went to talk to him. Pomfrey stood beside her employer and McGonagall went to place a comforting hand on Hermione's shoulder. Dumbledore attempted to put up a privacy charm to avoid being overheard by the two potioneers. Severus smirked at how easy it was to slyly have the spell include him; any spell of this kind had this flaw. Every spell except the one Severus invented which Dumbledore was obviously unaware of.

"Ms. Jean, are you sure you are comfortable with this?" he whispered.

Hermione looked a little confused, "Yes of course, why?"

Madame Pomfrey looked sympathetic, "Your scars, my dear, and the injuries when you first came here. They suggest… they suggest that you've seen real fighting, perhaps even combat. This may bring up bad memories."

"Ma'am at this point I'd welcome any memories."

"I understand but they could be traumatic for you. Are you sure you can handle this?"

Hermione paused for a moment. She remembered her first days here, how scared she was when she discovered that she could remember so many hexes and curses. It frightened her then but now… "I'm sure in fact I feel oddly prepared for this."

"Has any of this talk brought back memories?"

"Not exactly but…" Hermione turned and looked at the dueling stage with what seemed to be familiarity. "This stage…"

"What about it?" Dumbledore asked urgently.

Hermione's mind began to grasp at something. Some picture from the back of her mind. It was like one of her vague memories but more concrete. "I remember some people fighting on something like this, snakes, some boys and a tall dark man."

"What about them?"

"That's all, nothing specific. Why am I remembering now Madame Pomfrey? It's nothing strong but it is more than before."

"Sometimes you need something to trigger the memories, dear," the nurse answered.

"Well if you think you are fine then you shall be allowed to participate," Dumbledore reasoned, "now please go help Mr. Snape." Severus put the headmaster's spell back to the way it was before it was cancelled and went back to work.

'_Combat? Is that her secret? Are any of those rumors about her fighting in the war true?_' Severus wondered. _'But if she did than wouldn't the Death Eaters or the ministry know about her? Unless she was only known by her last name, maybe she kept a low profile until recently. Or maybe the Death Eaters do know her and they want to take advantage of her state of mind. If so she must really be good. Great now I sound like one of those babbling idiots, I should just wait until Hermione sees fit to tell me.' _Just then Hermione walked to her friend's side and he waited for her to ask what she needed to do but she never did. Finally he looked up and saw her staring at him with a funny look.

"Something wrong?" he drawled.

Hermione's eyes widened ever so slightly and she shook her head minutely, snapping herself out of whatever trance she was in. "Nothing, so what should I be doing?" Hermione blushed a little from embarrassment. Severus caught her staring; he must think she's weird now or something. She couldn't help it though seeing him reminded her of the dark man. Was he? No it was too coincidental, though he might be…

"Nothing now since I'm done. Professor Sutton is about to let the students in anyway." Why was she staring at him? Did she notice him eavesdropping? Impossible because that would mean Dumbledore had to have noticed and he would not have let that slide.

Both streams of thought were interrupted once more with the sound of the large doors opening and allowing the mass of students to enter. They filled the Great Hall quickly, naturally going to the general area where their house table usually is. Seveus and Hermione stayed off to the side by Madame Pomfrey's table. Dumbledore went up to his podium to speak to the group. "Students I would like to welcome you to our first meeting of the Dueling club. Many of you will not be able to participate but I hope you enjoy watching and that all of you will learn a thing or two about how to defend yourselves. I would like to thank Madame Promfrey and Professors Sutton and Slughorn for helping organize this event." Everyone began clapping respectfully before being stopped by Dumbledore. "And of course I'd like to thank the young man who had the idea in the first place who also helped us set up and brew potions, Mr. Snape," he added with a sweep of his arm towards Severus. The teachers, Hermione, and those who didn't know Severus all clapped with the Slytherin students joining quickly. The rest of the student body was more hesitant.

Severus was surprised to say the least. Why was the old coot giving him credit? He never would have done something like that before.

"Now I will let Professor Sutton explain the rules to you." The Headmaster stepped down and Sutton took his place explaining that curses and dark magic was not allowed. When he said stop the duel ended and he had to approve any matches. All the rules of formal dueling had to be followed and any violation of the rules would be punished.

"Now let's have some volunteers, How about Mr. Snape since it was all his idea?" Everyone turned to look at Severus' response.

"Sure," he said with an emotionless face and he walked up to the stage. Seeing him standing there once again brought the image of the dark man to Hermione's foremost thoughts.

"Would anyone like to challenge him?" Professor Sutton asked. Just about all of the Gryffindor's hands shot up with quite a few others. "How about you Mr. Potter." James smirked with his good luck and so did Severus. James joined his opponent on the stage and the two young wizards walked up to meet each other in the middle, carrying themselves confidently before having to pull out their wands and bow. They turned around and went to their ends of the stage to the sound of cheers and jeering. Settling into their fighting stances the duel began.

"Anteoculatia!" James cast only to have his spell rebounded by Severus' shield. As antlers grew from the popular seeker's head Severus silently cast his toe-nail growing hex to add to the ridiculous picture. James quickly cast finite incantatem to stop the growths before slinging a knee reversal hex. Severus once again blocked, though he had to physically move a little this time, as Sutton yelled at them to tone it down before losing points.

Both disappointed they began to throw simple jinxes at each other. James managed to hit Severus with a tripping jinx and a spiraling gust of air. But he was hit with the jelly legs and knockback jinxes in succession much to his humiliation. Many students, especially Slytherins, were laughing at him. His temper was rising when Severus silently attached his tongue to the roof of his mouth. Sutton declared the duel done so that the others could have a turn but James ignored him. He was pissed and unable to cast strong spells without his voice he charged at Severus.

Most wizards would not know what to do in this situation since they hardly ever fought using physical contact. Severus however was, according to muggles, a manc street rat. He was raised in Manchester in the shadow of a closed down factory. His environment and father made sure he knew how to fight the good old fashioned muggle way if he had to and he knew how to fight dirty.

The second James came in range of his arm Severus hit his chin with a left-handed upper cut followed by a right hook that sent James staggering back. Severus then pushed James around so his back was towards Severus who then put the pure blooded wizard into a full nelson before going to his rdown on his right knee taking James down to the ground and pressing his left knee into the small of James' back. The crowd erupted with noise as the teachers tried to calm everyone down. The noise covered Severus' voice so that only James heard him sneer, "Not so tough without your back up are you? Believe me, I can mess you up badly if I wanted to. Pass the message to your _friends_." Then Sutton pulled Severus off of James.

The teacher then used the _sonorous_ charm to get everyone's attention. "Silence! A eventful start but I must ask everyone else not to go that far today. Twenty points from Gryffindor for ignoring direct orders. Mr. Snape I would have preferred if you used a full body bind to end the fight but your method was also effective. I'm afraid I must take ten points for continuing the fight."

"Ten! But we lost twenty," Sirius yelled indignantly.

"Yes, only ten because at least Mr. Snape was defending himself," Sutton explained. He took the time to go over the rules once more as James and Severus went to Madame Pomfrey. Severus' injuries consisted of bruises that could heal on their own while James needed some work done including fixing his broken nose.

"He never should have let you two fight. What were you thinking given your history?" the nurse scolded. She dismissed Severus quickly as he had no need to be there and he left to go stand beside Hermione who was looking a little blank. Severus was disappointed as he was expecting at least one of her smiles. When he reached her though she did smile and looked a bit proud of him.

"Great job even if you lost points, he deserved it frankly. Where did you learn to fight like that?"

"At home," he said simply knowing she would assume he had lessons. They both turned to the stage as the next match up—a Ravenclaw sixth year against Gryffindor of the same year—was announced. It wasn't all that interesting nor were the three following matches. Throughout the dueling Hermione began feeling strange. Her heart was racing, her muscles tense and already ready to attack or defend the split second it was needed yet she felt familiar with it as if she had experience. Perhaps she did, perhaps in her past or future as it were this club continued and she was a part of it. But no, she got her scars from somewhere she believed that it was much worse than this. The spells she knew were too dark and the scars too cruel. The matches all ended quickly with simple jinxes with the occasional darker hex, typically from the Slytherins. After one Slytherin used a cracker jinx on a Hufflepuff, sending both students flying, Hermione finally took the stage.

The three staff members from earlier looked a bit nervous and Severus anxious. What if she wasn't fine with being attacked directly? What if she broke down or worse had a flashback and go into full battle mode?

However Hermione seemed calm, cool, and collected on stage as she faced one of Severus' roommates, Antonin Dolohov. Perhaps too much for Severus to be comfortable, it looked as if she was shutting down her emotions. On the inside Hermione began getting nervous. Her intuition recognized this boy and feared him. Her thoughts instantly went to every shield, hex, and curse she knew as some almost concrete memories resurfaced. After the two bowed she realized what her mind was trying to tell her: this boy had attacked at one point. After some more flashes she had a inkling to blame him for the horrid scar on her torso.

She tried to keep calm, remember that he had done nothing so far but when he threw a stinging jinx at her it all went out the window. She blocked it quickly and precisely before hitting him with tongue tying and ear shriveling curses. She no longer saw the stage or the audience, only her enemy as she covered his face with boils. She would have thrown a reductor curse had she not been stopped by Dumbledore.

"Enough! This is over! Twenty points from Gryffindor! Everyone to your common rooms!" everyone grumbled and left wondering why this shy Gryffindor girl went crazy. She carried herself like a soldier as she dueled and her face completely blank. The fears of the informed staff were confirmed as they saw what they recognized as a traumatic flashback. Hermione had been a soldier, a child soldier from the future.

Severus, who stayed behind, knew nothing about the event's implications for the future but he realized that his friend had been forced to fight in her lifetime.

As he watched McGonagall take her away he wondered what she had been forced to do exactly and the adults wondered if this war would ever end.

**I should be able to have another chapter up tomorrow unless something happens and possibly another by Wednesday. For anyone who understands psychology and wants to point out my flaws concerning amnesia, memory recall, or post-traumatic stress sorry I took a high school AP course and that's it. I got a 3 on the AP exam so I'm confident this is all acceptable. You know everyone copes and recovers differently. **

**Please Review**

**Oh and a friend of mine, known as the lovely trappedinherimagination here on Fanfiction, suggested I do something to advertise my stories through like a tumblr page or youtube video. Now with the cover pictures I want to ask some of you to help with either of these things on any of my stories out of the goodness of your hearts since I have no artistic ability. Yeah I sound desperate but this is the internet where I have very little shame**

**Also proof that my spell check is retarded, it wanted me to correct my sentence to say "Ms. Jean is you sure you are comfortable with this?" sorry I just had to point that out. My grammar might not be perfect but at least I'm not that bad.**


	18. Fighting and Flying

Severus never went down to the dungeons even after being told to by several teachers. Eventually students were allowed to once again have free reign of the castle and the grounds after a nice long lecture about the consequences of unsupervised and even supervised duels. After today's events the staff wanted no more incidents.

Severus instead opted to sit under a tree by the lake and read. This was, of course, after trying to see what was wrong with Hermione and being turned away and told to come back later. He was reading a short story from Hermione's Edgar Allan Poe book that she had lent him, _A Cask of Amontillado_ to be exact. It was cold and he had to regularly reset his warming charms but he enjoyed it. When you live on the British Isles your whole life you begin to disregard some of the weather problems. Though today was not that bad, in fact aside from the chill it would be a perfect day to go flying. _'I could have given Hermione her lessons today,'_ he mused. If only she had not full out attacked Dolohov, then everything would have went perfectly today. Well that and if he had gotten a shot at Black too. One out of two wasn't that bad though, maybe they would leave him alone.

"Oh Snivellus!" Of course they would not, what was he possibly thinking? "Oi get your greasy ass over here! You didn't think you would get away with that did you?"

"Get away with what, Black? Winning a fair fight? Though it wasn't really fair considering Potter's disregard for the rules, was it? I'm not surprised, years of three on one ambushes prove you don't care much for that sort of thing," Severus said calmly, finally turning to face the Marauders minus Lupin.

"You're too much of a coward to face us all," Black bellowed.

"I've done that quite a few times over the years; it is you who is afraid to take me on one on one."

Black appeared extremely insulted, apparently he didn't pay too much attention to his friend's defeat or that himself better. "I'm not afraid, I can take you right now!"

"Then do it!" someone yelled. Severus looked around to see they had attracted a crowd comparable to the one from that horribly incident in fifth year. But now not everyone was unanimously against Severus, many actually looked as if they wanted him to beat the dog. That dueling club really was a good idea.

"You know Potter," Severus said standing up, "You have done a terrible job as messenger." Severus walked towards the Gryffindors knowing he would get in trouble for this but not caring. He had wished for the opportunity to do this just a few minutes ago, had he not? He stood there defiantly in front of Black as the crowd began to chant, it seemed the staff's speeches had absolutely no impact on the student body. Severus had decided that the best way to get back at Black was to humiliate him with a quick easy win. No need to draw it out and waste time and energy, he had better things to spend them on and it would be a huge blow to the Gryffindor's ego.

Black began with a firing of random hexes and curses at Severus that the Slytherin easily blocked. He had read up about a powerful shield and taught himself how to use it. It came in handy now was he walked over to where Black was, forcing the runaway aristocrat to back up as his spells began rebounding until he couldn't back up anymore. Out of the corner of his eye, Severus saw Pettigrew pull out his wand. "Pettigrew I believe this is supposed to be a one on one fight, you can have a turn later when my back is not turned." Half of the crowd yelled at Pettigrew to put his wand away, mostly Slytherins and Ravenclaws he noted, and the chubby pathetic excuse for a lion obeyed. Potter stood beside his friend and watched with what looked like newfound reluctant respect for Severus. The Slyetherin had decided now was a good time to just end it, he hadn't thrown a single attack yet but he could already tell he had been right all along: individually the Marauders had no chance against him.

He silently cast a babbling curse to end the barrage of spells then used expelliarmus to disarm his opponent. He could have left it there but didn't. No, you see despite the fact that Severus denounced any connections to his filthy muggle father and his world Severus had felt a odd sense of pride showing Potter and every other privileged and pure blooded wizard there what a poverty stricken half blood could do, and he wanted to feel it again. A roundhouse kick to the stomach plus a powerful overhand right punch and Sirius Black was on the ground. Severus threw Black's wand at Potter's feet before going to retrieve Hermione's book.

Severus walked past the crowd, vaguely noticed the scorn and grudging respect he received and the money exchanging hands as bets were won and lost. He ended up walking past Lupin and Lily who he had not noticed in the crowd before. Surprisingly he didn't care how much they saw or what Lily thought happened, he didn't bother to observe their expressions past the fact that they were shocked. Instead he merely spoke to Lupin. "I'll tell Hermione you said hi and wished her well."

XXXXXXX

Severus snuck in to the infirmary to find two patients on cots on opposite sides of the large white room. Madame Pomfrey was tending to Dolohov's ailments as Hermione sat alone in her cot observing her nails. Severus walked up to his friend and placed her book on her bedside table before he sat down on her bed.

"How are you?" he whispered.

Hermione hesitated before whispering back, "Fine all things considered." She looked up the wizard, "Aren't you scared of me? Everyone who has seen me since has been, even Madame Pomfrey is wary. She won't let me have my wand."

Severus frowned at that. "I'm not scared of you. AS for your wand I'm afraid we must leave it. Won't be long before Dumbledore comes looking me."

"What are you talking about?"

"Be quiet, I'm going to place a notice me not charm on the two of us then we'll leave. I'll explain outside." Severus checked to make sure the nurse was not looking their way before casting the charm. The two slipped out undetected and did not realize that Madame Pomfrey had already noticed Severus come in and when she saw Hermione's bed empty she was in no hurry to find the pair.

Severus rushed towards the broom shed with Hermione falling behind with her much shorter legs eventually to the point where Severus grabbed Hermione's wrist to drag her along. When they stopped in front of the shed Hermione finally asked one of the many questions going through her head. "Why are you running from Dumbledore?"

"Fight with Black, ended up kicking his ass. Nothing all that unusual but I want to get some flying in before my punishment."

"Flying?"

"Yes, you wanted lessons."

"But after today I don't think it's really a good idea."

"You didn't freak out last time besides you'll ride with me the first couple times." Severus unlocked the doors and once again pulled out his old broom. This time Hermione got onto the broom voluntarily after pulling her hair into a ponytail, straddling the handle and grasping tightly. Severus followed close behind and reached around her to take control, a little more cautious of their positions this time around.

"Okay I'm going to fly first then slowly let you take control, okay?" he said in his most patient, reassuring voice. It was obviously underused.

"Yeah okay," Hermione gulped.

Severus kicked off and rose steadily through the air before leveling off at an acceptable altitude. They could see the entirety of the lake side of Hogwarts and the grounds from up here. They were a lot of people outside including many still at the scene of the fight. He took in the majesty of his home, his true home and looked down to see if Hermione was as well. Instead he found her trying to hide her fear and failing. It looked odd on her after what he had seen her do today. The stance, her skill, efficiency, everything about her on that staged screamed experience. Where ever she was before Hogwarts she had been fighting, probably for her life. Not completely unlike he did at home but somehow he thought that what she went through may have been worse.

One could always tell a true fighter just by how they carry themselves and today that side of Hermione was finally revealed for all to see. It was hidden before with shyness and insecurity but it was out on display in that duel. A piece of the puzzle that was Hermione's past had been placed and yet it made it all seem much more complicated.

"You aren't going to fall, calm down," Severus said a little rudely.

"Sorry," her tone showed that she had found his rude.

"Look, I'm right here and I'm not going to let us crash. I don't want to spend any time in the Hospital wing." Hermione laughed, of course it would be about him or actually he would pretend it was all about him. "I'm going to bank to the right now. Just lean your weight with mine." Hermione nodded and did as she was told but ended up leaning just a little too much then tried to over correct. "Stop jerking around, you need smoother movements," her tutor instructed as he corrected her mistakes. "Now let's try again." She barely improved the second time and he had to grab her hands and tighten his arms around her before she flipped them. "How about we just get you comfortable on the broom first?"

Hermione—who had become acutely aware of his arms and torso and how he had muscles despite his lean frame—asked, "How are we going to do that?"

"By spending time on one I guess. We'll just float and… I don't know, talk." His suggestion had really no merit to it in his opinion but Hermione agreed and Severus loosened his grip on her.

They floated in silence before Hermione broke the silence. "Tell me about your family."

Severus paused for a moment from her nerve to ask him that but she didn't actually know anything about his background. She would assume it was a safe question like it was with most of their peers. "Let's not talk about them," he said with unmistakable finality in his voice.

"Okay then what should we talk about?"

Severus hesitated before asking, knowing she might react the wrong way. "What happened with Dolohov?"

Hermione stiffened and ignored him. She had told Madame Pomfrey the truth, if only because she was a medical professional that could help, she told the nurse that Dolohov would attack her in the future and told Dumbledore and McGonagall more vaguely that it was a war flashback. But she couldn't tell Severus that, in fact the only other person she could tell would be Remus tonight in the common room. How would she explain herself? And would anyone believe her lies?

"Let's not talk about that," she paraphrased his earlier words.

"It has to do with your secret? Hermione you need to tell me…"

"Why? I thought you said you would wait until I was ready. Well guess what? I'm not ready."

"I just want to help."

"You are being nosey," she accused.

"I'll admit that I'm curious," she tried scooting away from him, "but I'm mostly worried. Who hurt you?"

Hermione turned and glared, "What makes you think someone hurt me?"

"Well aside from your manner of arrival at this school," he sneered, "your behavior as of late shows that it is true and I've seen the scar on your arm. If you're having flashbacks, obviously traumatic ones, then you need help!"

"I don't need help, I need answers!" At this point they were shouting and Severus pulled them up higher to avoid being over heard.

"I can help find those answers!" Damn it, this witch needed to trust him if he was going to help her survive You-Know-Who. "I know you feel like you're prepared for this but how can you be when you don't know what's happening? What if the dark man comes to get you or…" _Shit._

Hermione narrowed her eyes as it all clicked, "You were eavesdropping."

Severus didn't respond. _'Bugger this won't end well for me.'_

"You were listening to us, before the students came in." She sounded really pissed but Severus didn't think he did anything wrong except slip up.

"I was making sure Dumbledore wasn't threatening you about Lupin again." Partially true. "I was worried." Also part… no it was just true.

Hermione turned away from him. "Take me down."

"I will, later, look I'm sorry I pissed you off-"

"Take me down now."

"I don't want you mad at me; I just want to help-"

"You just wanted to know what was going on even though it wasn't your business."

"I'm not going to lie; maybe I was a little curious." She wasn't listening and he was not going to let her march off and prove Lily right. He had forced her to talk about something she didn't want to and he knew he'd react the same way if not worse. Suddenly an idea, a stupid idea, popped into his head. _'It's worth a shot.'_

"I have a pretty shitty life at home. A Muggle dad that's unemployed and an alcoholic and a pureblooded mother who won't stand up to him. Hell I've never even seen her use magic aside from healing major wounds after he left. I hate that place and when I graduate I'm never going back."

He waited for her to react, if she was still pissed then too bad because he wasn't saying anymore. Finally she asked, "Why are telling me this?"

"An eye for an eye?"

"I didn't invade your privacy though, I backed off."

"I know," he hung his head hiding behind his black curtain of hair, "and I'm sorry."

"Take me down now," she sighed.

"You don't have to forgive me now but will you…"

"I will, Severus, but I don't want to talk to you right now."

Severus conceded and took them down. His day was completed with the sight of the Marauders, Lily, Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Slughorn waiting for them. Severus hovered above the ground and addressed the headmaster. "To what do I owe this visit?"

"As if you don't know," Black snarled, "Trying to run away and kidnap this poor misguided girl I see."

Hermione surprisingly spoke up, "I'm not being kidnapped and he was giving me flying lessons." Severus stared incredulously as the girl who was very angry with him still defended him.

"Mr. Snape and Mr. Black, would you come to my office please?" Dumbledore asked. Severus landed and went to put his broom up before following his Head of House to the Headmaster's office. James, Lily, and Pettigrew stood there awkwardly obviously wanting to say something but not.

'_Perhaps they're scared of me too.'_ Hermione walked up to Remus and told him that they had a lot to talk about in the common room tonight.

"Okay but you'll have to tell me about your _flying_ lessons," he said with a teasing glint in his eye. It was then that Hermione realized they had a real bond. They were two people with apparently deadly secrets.

**I was expecting to have the Slug Club happen in this chapter but the flying scene was longer than expected and the fight with Sirius just kind of happened, not at all planned. But Slug Club will come next I promise**

**So my lovely readers please review, fav, and alert (hint hint reviews make me smile a little brighter but it's not like you can only choose one of them)**


	19. Talks and Slug Club part 1

**Thank you for your patience my wonderful readers, college is starting early for me next week with an online pre-cal course (why am I becoming an aerospace engineer major? I hate math, oh yeah it's cause I love my physics and engineering classes as weird and contradictory as that may sound) And I've been busy preparing for college so updates will come as they come please put this on alert to help yourself keep track of it.**

**Oh and Happy Father's day**

**Disclaimer:… You already know**

"Miss Jean I would prefer if you warned me before leaving the Hospital wing, when you are here you are under my care and my rules," Madame Pomfrey scolded but without the usual amount of disapproval. She retrieved Hermione's wand from a locked drawer and handed it to the younger witch. "May I ask what you were doing with Mr. Lupin?" she asked even though she knew Hermione left with Severus.

"Well actually I left with Sev-Mr. Snape, Ma'am," Hermione corrected knowing that the nurse would find out anyway. "We went flying."

"Flying can be a very dangerous activity, I should know. Mr. Lupin, would you please wait outside my office? I would like to speak to Miss Jean alone." Remus nodded and left shutting the door behind him. Hermione expected to be lectured either about her health or maybe even for hanging out with Severus as it would be far from the first time that happened. So she was surprised to see a much softer expression on the nurse's maternal face than she expected.

"I have heard, Miss Jean that you have become good friends with Severus, is that so?"

"Yes ma'am I have," she answered.

"I know he gets a bad reputation but Severus really is a sweet boy, he just doesn't anyone to know it," Madame Pomfrey said much to Hermione's surprise. "I don't get to develop relationships with most of the students because thankfully they don't spend much time here but there are always exceptions. Severus is one; he's had a rough time here. What I wanted to say Miss Jean is that he doesn't have many friendships but the ones he has he values very highly. Please be… gentle with him you have been a good influence on him I think, he's not been in this year and he seems happier even if he doesn't show it."

"I would never dream of hurting him," Hermione assured the older witch and it was true, as much as he could infuriate her she would never do him harm, she would not be another Lily for him.

"Thank you, dear. Now I believe Mr. Lupin is waiting for you, have a good day."

"Good bye Madame Pomfrey."

Hermione found Remus standing right outside the office door trying not to look curious. Whether over her fight, her flight, or her talk with Madame Pomfrey she wasn't sure but it was probably a combination of the three.

Dinner was fast approaching as they left the hospital wing so their first stop was at the Great Hall. For once Remus sat with Hermione on her end of the table instead of with the Marauders who all shot them confused and in Sirius' case upset looks. The rest of the table, actually the rest of the Hall just stared at Hermione.

"And just when the rumors about you and Snape were dying down," Remus lightly joked.

Hermione gave a mirthless chuckle, "It seems I will forever be a source of entertainment for them."

"Everything will pass," Remus assured her.

"And then something else will happen," Hermione countered.

"Don't be so pessimistic."

"I'm not pessimistic, I'm realistic. Reality just happens to be negative."*

Remus just sighed and shook his head and returned to eating. After a few minutes the staring became too much and Hermione stood up. "You can go sit with your friends; I'm going to the library."

"Hermione you don't have to…"

"I'll be more comfortable. I'll talk to you in the common room tonight okay?"

"If you're sure…"

"I am, see you later." The two friends walked in opposite directions; one towards the exit and one to the other end of the table.

"Remus where is Hermione going?" Lily asked.

"Why were you sitting with her?" Sirius demanded. "She's with Snivellus."

"Sirius I keep telling you they are not together and Lily it isn't really any of your business."

"Don't talk to her that way."

"James it's all right. Look Remus I just want to talk to her."

"Sorry Lily but I don't think she'll want to talk to you."

Lily stood abruptly fiery temper aflame, "Fine I'll just follow her." And so she did, leaving her boyfriend and company behind wondering what she would say to their peculiar classmate.

Lily found Hermione right outside the library and yelled at her, "I knew you were bad news, I knew better than to trust you. Not even James and Snape resorted to full curses in their duel. But you used them immediately." Lily got right into Hermione's face now, "Well, what excuse do you have now?"

Hermione stared into Lily's eyes, "Nothing you could ever hope to understand, Lily. Perhaps you should start looking outside your little bubble then maybe one day you could understand. Now if you'll excuse me I have some studying to do tonight." Hermione turned on her heel and entered the library nonchalantly leaving a fuming Lily behind her.

XXXXXXX

Much later in the evening, Hermione finally retreated to the Gryffindor common room for the evening and found it to be relatively empty as usual. She sat down on the couch in front of the fireplace and stared into the flames as the few stragglers went up to bed. She didn't have to wait long before hearing Remus' footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Okay Mione, start talking," Remus said as he plopped down beside her.

Hermione looked around herself to check her surroundings before she began. She leaned in closer once she saw that it was all clear, everyone left the common room earlier than usual tonight most likely because of their new nervousness in her presence, and told Remus, "I recognized him."

"Who? Dolohov?"

"Yes, he attacked me or will attack me. You know what I mean, I went into like full self defense mode," Hermione explained.

"It looked like more than just self defense, Hermione."

Hermione sighed, "We think that I have fought before, like in combat, but it is just a theory. Look I'm tired, I'm going to go to bed." Hermione stood as she announced her intentions and Remus rose with her.

"What about Snape? What happened there?"

"We're friends; we had a fight, that's it."

"Does he know about where you are from?"

"No, I don't trust him that much yet. You are the only one I've told."

"He likes you, you know."

Hermione turned around, her flying hair smacking Remus' shoulder. "Not you too! I thought you knew better than to listen to those rumors."

"I know you are not dating," Remus said as he raised his hands to stop any possible rant. "I know that you don't have any feelings for him beyond that of a friend, but I am fairly sure that there are feelings on his side."

Hermione snorted, "Well you're wrong. I'm going to sleep."

XXXXXXX

Severus pulled at his nicest wizarding robes to try and remove the wrinkles. It had been gently used when bought and Severus rarely had need for them. In fact if it was his choice he would never need to wear them, he loathed parties especially Slughorn's. The Christmas dinner parties were generally the worst. There were two reasons why he was going: he needed to talk to Lucius and he was looking for opportunities to fix his relationship with Hermione.

Christmas break was a day away and ever since the dueling club almost three weeks ago—which was now over and done with—their relationship was strained. They still sat next to each other in class and the library but there was noticeably less talking going on. She was still a little peeved at him. Severus hoped to fix it before the break so he would have a chance to actually talk to her about the Dark Lord. As of right now if it had nothing to do with school and research it was not discussed. She was coming around, much less irritated but not as talkative.

Severus looked at himself in mirror in his worn black robes, the only splash of color was his dark green shirt. His hair was thoroughly washed and tied back at the nape of his neck with a piece of leather. This was as nice as he was going to look. The mirror, who had given up a long time ago trying to critique Severus, peeped up and said, "Not bad."

"Oh shut up," Severus snarled and stalked away. It wasn't too long of a journey from the Slytherin common room to Slughorn's party which was only one floor up. The sounds slipping out from around the door were obnoxious and the people still entering were too full of holiday cheer for Severus' tastes. At least he wasn't one of the potion teacher's favorites that got shown off like a prized horse at these things; he could easily slip into the background.

His dear friend Lucius on the other hand was another story all together. His presence demanded attention and respect and as Severus stepped into the dreaded room he found that tonight was no exception. The aristocratic blonde was speaking to the host about something or other and was impeccably dressed. Solid black brand new robes, hair tied back with a bow, and perfectly shined dragon's hide boots and gloves. Severus' attention was immediately drawn to the cane in one gloved hand; a simple black cane with a silver snake head on top. Severus held back a chuckle, if only Lucius knew how he might appear to someone raised in the muggle world with his feminine hair bow and pimp cane.

Severus had schooled his face to its usual mask when he approached the wizards. "Ah Mr. Snape," the professor greeted, "So glad to see you could make it I was just speaking with Mr. Malfoy here, you two are friends correct? I'll let you two catch up as I greet the other guests." Slughorn shuffled his way through the crowded room leaving the two alone.

"That man can talk about nothing for a very long time," Lucius grumbled.

Severus snorted, "Tell me about it."

"Well we have much more important things to talk about than this starting with that little dueling club of yours," Lucius announced.

"I'm guessing you heard about everything."

"I believe so, particularly your brawls with those two Gryffindor blood traitors. And of course Miss Jean's duel as well, she truly is powerful isn't she?"

"She didn't need to use any large amount of power, she knew how to handle herself without its aid," Severus commented.

"Indeed and _he_ was impressed." Severus held back his natural reaction at the mention of the Dark Lord.

Severus changed the subject, "Perhaps we should start with a less heavy subject, like your son for example." It was then that Severus saw an expression on his friends face that he had never seen before; vulnerability.

"There is no child, Severus," the blonde said sadly.

"A miscarriage?" the raven haired wizard whispered. Lucius merely nodded. Severus pitied his friend though in all honesty he wasn't completely surprised. The purebloods' incestuous ways caused many problems in their society from genetic diseases to a high frequency of miscarriages and stillbirths. It was one of the many reasons the pureblooded families were dying out; once they found someone worthy to marry then they had trouble conceiving and actually carrying the child to term. "I am so sorry, Lucius." The older wizard may not be the perfect potential father but one look at his showed that he mourned for his unborn child.

"Thank you Severus, I'll pass it on to Cissy. She could not make it." His tone accidently hinted that he wished he was at home too, but he mustn't let anyone see his weakness. No one else knew but if both Malfoys stayed home then the world would know something was up. "Nothing can changed what happened so let us move on," Lucius said taking a sip of his elf made wine. "So where is your little girlfriend?"

"There is no relationship between us and I have no knowledge of her whereabouts. She will probably be here soon." After Severus spoke these words a glint of something by the door caught his attention. Turning he saw Hermione striding into room catching more than just his eyes.

She was wearing a cocktail length gingerbread colored dress with long sleeves covering her arms and matching heels. The dress glittered gold as she moved and caught the light at different angles. Her hair had been perfectly curled and done up in some elaborate ponytail up do and her make-up was stunning. Hermione felt a sense of déjà vu as she entered the room. She had hoped the dress would be subtle and let her melt into the background when she bought it but the sparkles counteracted the color's simplicity apparently and she had not noticed how it fit her like a second skin showing off all of her curves. She blushed slightly as she searched for some cover and her eyes finally landed on Severus. She missed her conversations with him and now seemed like a good time to stop being mad at him. As she approached she noticed that he was staring at her in surprise and saw his blonde companion say something to him.

"Severus, am I correct in assuming that this is Miss Jean?"

"Yes," he said simply. Severus was genuinely shocked by her transformation and forced himself to stop showing it.

"I must ask, why are you denying a relationship with her?" Lucius teased.

***I actually say that all of the time**

**I just realized that anyone who has read my story **_**An Atypical Couple**_** might think I have something against Dolohov, I don't actually it was pure coincidence that he keeps getting… I'll just say hurt so there'll be no spoiler alerts in case someone decides to read it.**

**So the Slug Club party will be in two parts, I hope to have part two up soon. The more reviews I get the faster I'll write.**


	20. Slug Club part 2

**Finally! I kind of had to force them but the creative juices are flowing again! Pre-cal sucks and anthropology (a nice math free major with all the history and culture I love) is sounding more tempting but I will not give up on aerospace! Not until they kick me out for such horrific math skills that put pilots in danger. Okay I'm joking, I'm not **_**that**_** bad but I know I'm not the top of the top in that area so I do get nervous about it.**

**I am hoping some writing will make you guys happy and make myself less anxious about these classes. A win-win for all.**

**Disclaimer: unnecessary at this point**

Hermione wove her way quickly through the crowded room until she reached Severus and his friend. She kept her head down trying to avoid drawing attention to herself and was happy to see that the attention had shifted from her dress back to the stories she inspired and finally to completely unrelated topics typical for the event.

When she reached her destination she was prevented from greeting the boys by Slughorn's booming voice. "Miss Jean, how wonderful it is to see you at my little gathering finally. I am not at all surprised that you would find the time despite your busy schedule or to see you coming to talk to Mr. Snape so quickly. You know, Mr. Malfoy, I was the first one to put these two together and they make wonderful potions partners, best in the class of course. Not a surprise given his skill and her apparent talent at everything. Yes, this young lady will go far in the world. I hope you don't mind if I steal her for a moment, they are some people here she just has to meet." Hermione did not even have a chance to object before being thrown back into the crowd to meet with various scholars and politicians.

"How long do you think he'll keep her?" Lucius asked.

"A while, he likes her," Severus answered.

"Of course, she makes an interesting addition to his collection. A mystery girl of very high intelligence, no past, and apparently a decent amount of power; she could go far and he would claim a lot of the credit. So tell me what did he mean when he said he first put you two together?"

"First day of school she didn't have any supplies and he told me to share my text book because I just happened to be the one she sat next to."

"Oh yes he is a true genius," Lucius said sarcastically. "So how much have you told Miss Jean about the Dark Lord's offer?" Lucius' voice was barely a whisper now despite their position in an out of the way corner in a room to noisy to be overheard in anyway.

Severus sighed in his head, "Nothing yet, I'll tell her over the break, tomorrow perhaps."

"You are running out of time."

"I know that but you of all people should know this isn't an easy decision. Not something to decide on a whim."

"It is more difficult for you because it is unknown thanks to your upbringing in that disgusting muggle neighborhood. I had my father and family to guide, I have been prepared for this since I was very young."

"Some could call that brainwashing," Severus countered. "It seems my only choice would be to accept."

"It would be stupid not to," Lucius growled quietly.

"Hermione will not be so easy to convince and Lily will be impossible so don't even bother to mention it."

"A shame she wouldn't even consider it but at least there is a chance with Miss Jean who is much more valuable. I was hoping I could help you sway her tonight but that will become a bit more difficult. It would help if she knew what I was talking about."

"I'm sure you can come up with something. I'll talk to her in depth later, what exactly does the Dark Lord want with her anyway? I know I will be used for potions but I can't think of what her job would be."

"For now her support will do," Lucius replied as he waved over a floating tray of drinks to replace his empty glass. "She won't be asked to take the dark mark yet."

"But I will be," Severus stated surely, he knew there was no question about it.

"No, my dear friend, you will not be asked," the blonde said surprising his young companion, "You will be told."

"That does sound more accurate," the dark haired wizard mumbled under his breath as he saw Hermione coming back their way. She wasn't as gone as long as expected making Severus wonder how she escaped Slughorn's presence.

Hermione wasn't sure how she did it either but she was relieved nonetheless to be left to her own devices, hopefully for the rest of the evening. She headed back to where she had seen Severus earlier and once again spotted the two wizards. Severus had cleaned up his appearance a bit and looked almost handsome aside from his scowl. She briefly wondered how he would look with a smile on his face instead of a scowl or smirk.

Then her attention turned to his friend that Professor Slughorn had called Malfoy, a name that triggered her intuition once more. This time with irritation and a bubbling undertone that could almost be identified as hate. A hint of humiliation tinged the feeling and helped finalize this Malfoy in almost the same category as Pettigrew. Almost. She really needed to find out what the insecure Gryffindor did to her in the future. What surprised her though, after processing the initial feelings his presence and name caused, Hermione realized that she felt pity for him for who he had become. She examined his person quickly and precisely. One glance at the blonde's clothing and the self confident expression on his face gave evidence to the fact that this man was born into wealth and prestige. Even just standing there he seemed elegant and graceful; a trait the occasionally clumsy Hermione found herself jealous of. He looked as if he was above everyone else in the room and Hermione could see how easily such a man could cause the feelings that she was experiencing now. But she could not betray her feelings like she did with Dolohov, as far as she could tell this man had not attacked her directly at least so she put on a happy face for the party.

"That man does not take no for an answer. Is it like this at every gathering?" Hermione inquired when she finally stood beside Severus once again.

"He talks nonstop and brags about is connections but he'll only drag you around like that during the larger gatherings," Severus replied. "Hermione, I would like to introduce you to my friend, Lucius Malfoy."

The blonde aristocrat smoothly took Hermione's hand that she had held out for a handshake and placed a polite kiss on the back of it before smiling in a charming way. "Hermione, may I call you that? I have heard so much about you it seems your sudden appearance caused quite the stir, no one seems to know what to make of you."

"Mr. Malfoy…"

"Please, call me Lucius."

"Lucius," Hermione said hesitantly, "I was unaware, until tonight that is, that news of myself had gone beyond Hogwarts aside from the occasional comment. I wonder which of the fantastic rumors I've heard made it to the outside world."

"There are too many theories and hypothesis to count and a few are quite ridiculous. I was hoping you would tell me the real story."

Hermione shook her head, "I'm afraid that it is mystery even to myself. Surely you heard about the amnesia."

"Indeed I did but hoped that perhaps you remembered something."

"I'm sorry but I don't," the witch said a little annoyed. Couldn't she have a normal conversation with anyone?

Just then Slughorn announced that there would be music and dancing as he enlarged a corner of the room for this purpose. A waltz began to play and couples moved en mass towards the dance floor. There were no dances at Hogwarts so this was indeed a treat for many of the girls. Hermione however was not interested in dancing at all. She would have happily stayed right where she was if Lucius hadn't held out his arm for her. "I would be honored to have this dance, Hermione."

She didn't want to be rude to Severus' friend and soon found herself dancing a waltz with Lucius Malfoy. It was not so bad, he was quite talented, but he insisted on talking to her when awkward silence would have suited her better. At least he kept a respectable amount of distance between them as they danced unlike some of the other boys who were trying to mold themselves to their dates. Hermione noticed a wedding band on his left hand and figured that explained it. Not that she thought he found her attractive but it seemed to be a common action with everyone else.

"I've been told that you are quite the duelist, it is rare to find a female so talented in that field," Lucius began as they spun amongst the other couples.

"Yes I guess I am," Hermione said simply. There was nothing else she could say about the situation unless she wanted to tell him that it was a natural reaction against some kid who would eventually hurt her.

"And intelligent according to Severus who, as I'm sure you know, does not hand out compliments lightly."

Hermione blushed slightly and turned her eyes away from him minutely, missing the amused look on Lucius' face. "I'm surprised he does at all, he much prefers to insult people."

The dance was halfway over and Lucius wanted to get in something about the Dark Lord and gauge her reaction while he had her full attention. He would not dance with her again; after all she was most likely a mudblood. "Do you have any plans for after school?"

Hermione hesitated before giving an answer, "No, I'm not sure about anything after graduation."

"Understandable given the circumstances, do you know much about what is going on outside these walls right now?"

"I've heard things about a war."

"More like a very tense atmosphere due to some opposing politics. There have unfortunately been a few deaths in result."

"Sounds like more than just tension to me. What is it about exactly?"

"Mudbloods." Hermione froze at the word before collecting herself.

"Fear turns to prejudice which turns to hate," Hermione said mostly to herself, "History has a way of repeating itself for humans seem incapable to learn from their father's mistakes."

"I take it you are pro-mudblood?" Lucius sneered.

"I am most likely one myself and even if I'm not I do not see the difference. We are all human and our ability to use magic should only strengthen our bond. I can understand—but do not agree with—why some believe muggles are inferior because they do not possess the powers we do but no matter who your parents are if you possess magic then you belong in the wizarding world."

"Allow me to help you understand, it is not merely out of hate. We wish to preserve our heritage. To protect our culture from outsiders who can never truly understand. Is it so different than when muggles exclude immigrants?"

"It is no different but that doesn't make it right."

"We only wish to keep our magic strong and keep the future bright. Besides you may not be a mudblood, you are intelligent and powerful you must be at least halfblood."

"Then why has no one claimed me?"

"Perhaps you were orphaned."

"Impossible to prove and irrelevant. I will not agree with anyone who senselessly kills because of a label."

Lucius began to speak in a hissing whisper, "The Dark Lord is not unwise. He and his followers know that not every pureblood is perfect and that a few mudbloods are worthy of their magic. Yourself included."

"You're a Death Eater aren't you?" she accused. Lucius did not respond though and instead led Hermione off the dance floor as the music ended. He took her to where Severus was standing. He had watched the entire dance and became angrier by the second. Hermione obviously did not want to dance with Lucius and he was only upsetting her. He also found himself glaring daggers of jealously at his friend for getting to dance with her.

As the next song started Lucius practically pushed Hermione into Severus' arms and took his cane from his friend who had held it during the dance. "Good luck," Lucius whispered into Severus' ear with a double meaning as he nudged the reluctant couple to the dance floor.

Severus could kill Lucius right now. He was going to humiliate himself attempting to dance with Hermione, he had never learned to before. He watched the other couples and attempted to copy their movements. Thankfully the song was such that everyone pretty much ended up just swaying to music, unfortunately that just made it seem more awkward between himself and his partner. Without any steps to focus on he could only focus on how he was holding Hermione, how close she was, and how angry Lucius left her.

"How do you know him?" Hermione asked accusatorily.

"From school."

"He's involved with You-Know-Who," she stated quietly.

"Not here," Severus cautioned, "I'll explain tomorrow, there are a lot of things you need to know."

"I have a feeling I won't like any of them."

"Trust me you won't." The rest of their dance was nondescript aside from the fleeting moment when Hermione's eye caught sight of Lily, James, and Remus watching her dance with Severus Snape.

**Leave a comment (no lie, I stopped for a second when I saw the email saying that I got a 'comment' instead of a 'review' the first time)**


	21. Anticipation

**Finally started watching Doctor Who after hearing so much about it, the special effects are comically bad but it's pretty cool, just saying**

**Disclaimer: not getting paid for this or Doctor Who**

The night came to an end soon after the dancing. After Hermione's one dance with Severus, Slughorn whisked her away to continue the introductions that were interrupted earlier. She didn't see Severus for the rest of the night and all she could think about was what he wanted to tell her tomorrow. And what about what Malfoy said? Had this Dark Lord actually taken notice of her? Did he find her worthy? She didn't care much for his opinion but this probably wasn't something she should brush off so easily.

Not even halfway back to Gryffindor tower and it was already obvious that she would have no sleep tonight, great. Perhaps she could ask Remus if she could borrow some more of his sleeping draught.

"Hermione!" Oh how her night seemed to improve when she heard her friend's voice. It completely slipped her mind that Remus might not be alone as she turned around. Alas she saw him with Lily, James, and Sirius who had gotten some girl from the club to bring him along. He looked at her with a confused and grossed out appearance like he always did whenever he saw her hanging out with Severus. She may not have seen him but he had definitely seen her dancing. "I didn't know you knew Malfoy," Remus commented, interrupting her thoughts.

"Oh, I didn't," she said as they approached where she stood. "Professor Slughorn and Severus introduced me to him."

"I just thought since you two were dancing together that you knew each other somehow. He usually doesn't dance with people other than his wife," Remus said.

"No, he just found me interesting apparently. He wanted to hear more about the 'mysterious girl from who knows where.'"

"I can't believe you would dance with such a jerk," Lily said.

"He was polite at first then outright rude during the dance. Trust me I want nothing more to do with him."

Sirius scoffed, "Malfoy and Snivellus are good 'friends' or allies as Slytherins call them. If you keep hanging out with the Greasy Git you will see more of Malfoy."

"And why do you care?"

"Because you are a damsel in distress that needs to see the light," he said with a suave smile.

Hermione turned to Remus, "Has he been drinking? He isn't usually this nice to me."

"I've been trying to convince them to cut you some slack, but yes he has been drinking."

"So let's try and start over, Christmas spirit and all," James said.

"Uh huh, and you don't mind that I hang out with Severus?"

"Baby steps, he's still a greasy git," Sirius said.

Hermione shrugged and walked back to Gryffindor tower with them. It was mostly for Remus' sake that she didn't say anything to upset his friends. But there was also the fact that she didn't feel like having any conflict tonight.

"So…" James began trying to start a conversation. "How did you learn to fight so well? Dolohov is still a little bit jumpy," he laughed.

Hermione felt a little embarrassed to have this brought up again and a little guilty that she hurt the boy so bad. He hadn't done anything to her yet. "I don't know," she said truthfully.

"Oh ya, that."

They walked in an awkward silence for a few more moments before Hermione whispered to Remus, "Okay what is going on? They don't like me."

"Let's just say the duels sort of made them a little more mature. Have noticed that they haven't bothered Snape since he literally kicked their asses? And they know you could too, they will never like him but now they seem to have found better things to do than bully Snape. Pettigrew is the one exception but he won't do anything on his own."

_Of course not, coward._ They soon arrived at the tower and headed to their rooms, no late night talk with Remus tonight everyone was going home for the holidays in the morning. Except her of course, she had no home.

She flopped down onto her bed a bit depressed at the thought. Where would her home be in this mysterious future of hers? How did her family celebrate Christmas? Was there a large family gathering or just herself with her parents and any siblings she may have? Did they stay at home or travel? Actually that last one sounded right, there weren't any flashbacks but she had a feeling she traveled a lot. She wished she knew where though. Is this how the rest of her life will be? Putting together some feelings and occasional flashbacks together like pieces of a puzzle trying to make a picture? Would she ever see the full picture or would she reach the end only to find that some pieces were lost and never to be found again? Maybe she would have to wait until the future version of herself attended Hogwarts, there couldn't be many muggleborns named Hermione Jean. But what if that never happened? What if she had altered the timeline to the point where she wouldn't be born? No, she hadn't had any contact with muggles so there weren't any chances that she met her parents or anything.

She heard the redheaded Head Girl whisper "Hermione?" so as not to wake their roommates and broke Hermione from her train of thought. It seemed Lily was going to try and be friends with Hermione again. The brunette wondered how long this new found maturity would last, they were all leaving tomorrow and by the time they came back James and Sirius would probably go back to messing with Severus. Lily may last longer at least until Hermione did something to insult her again.

"Is something wrong?" Lily urged. Hermione had been sitting down still in her dress and make up with a somber, thoughtful expression on her face. During this time Lily had already changed and prepared herself to go to bed.

"Nothing, I'm just tired," Hermione lied as she began taking her hair down from the fancy ponytail she had it in.

"I'm sorry about everything," Lily said. Hermione just nodded as she changed into something warm and comfortable to sleep in. "I was just trying to help."

"I know," Hermione said as she wiped her face clean of make-up.

"I'm glad you don't mind Remus' 'furry little problem.' Most would, it's hard for him to find good friends. He doesn't feel like he can have any sort of relationship—platonic or romantic—with someone who doesn't know. He gets really lonely."

"Well Remus is a great guy and I am glad I am friends with him. It isn't his fault he has this condition."

"I wish more people thought like that," Lily said wistfully, referring to more than just werewolves. After a moment of dreamy thoughts she continued on a more serious note. "I still think you're a danger even if you don't mean to be, the duel showed that much, but you're not a bad person."

"Gee thanks," Hermione responded with a roll of her eyes.

"You're good for Remus… and Severus too apparently." Lily looked away from Hermione and down at her hands in her lap. "I've never seen him dance before, he would never dare do something so 'foolish' before."

"Lucius forced him," Hermione pointed out.

"Perhaps, but he would've walked away and made a scene before. He seems in a better mood this year and he isn't with those Death Eaters as much."

"I'm surprised you've noticed anything about him."

"I still think it will all backfire on you eventually."

Hermione didn't want to hear this. "I'm going to bed," she announced as she got into her bed and turned off the lights.

XXXXXX

Snow fell gently from the sky as it covered the Scottish landscape in a new coat of crystalline water. The fresh blanket of white became marred with the foot prints of hundreds of students leaving the castle for Christmas break. Hermione watched them out of the boredom that comes with waking up earlier than expected. Unfortunately none of the people she saw through the window sparked any interest. Remus could not be spotted out of the crowd and his friends were sure to be with him. Severus was staying here at the castle like she and would be her only company for the next two weeks. How often she would see him though would probably be determined by the conversation that she was to have with him sometime today. She was assured by both Severus and her instincts that she wasn't going to like the subject that needed to be discussed and hoped that it would not be too bad nor make her lose one of her two friends here.

Hermione turned away from the window and got ready for breakfast. She had wanted to sleep in and was not very hungry but the girls in her dorm woke her. After throwing on a robe to say a quick goodbye to Remus in the common room, Hermione returned to her room to find that going back to sleep was impossible—not that she slept much at all due to her mind's wondering about Severus and his news—now which led to her previous activity of staring out the window. But now that activity lost anything resembling interest and Hermione decided to occupy herself with breakfast.

She settled on an outfit she found in her purse in the beginning of the school year when she was first found. It was a red oversized sweater—one that was oversized for the sake of comfort and a cute relaxed look as opposed to just being the wrong size—and blue jeans. Her jeans and other articles of clothing always got strange looks and taunts from the purebloods but most of them would be home for the holidays and would not be around to tease her. This thought brought a small smile to her face, two weeks without Slytherin snobbery, the few that were still here were hardly problems.

She took her time tying her shoes, not wanting to endure what will be an eerily empty Great Hall for any longer than necessary. The walk down the many flights of stairs was also done at a leisurely pace. She admired the castle's festive decorations, traditional things found in Muggle London anywhere but with dashes of magic that made it pop in one way or another. Hermione wondered why witches and wizards celebrated Christmas anyway as no magical being had ever shown an interest in religion beyond the holiday and Easter. Perhaps it was something brought in by Muggleborns searching for comfort in familiarity. But now was not the time for internal debates about magic and faith, no that was too heavy a subject for her mind that was still foggy due to lack of sleep. Instead she needed to figure out what she would eat when she reached the Great Hall and ready herself for what promised to be a stressful day.

Finally she reached the massive doors that opened up to the magnificent Great Hall. It was empty practically with only a handful of students from each house and all were younger than her self. She sat down at her usual end of the Gryffindor table where a small meal appeared before her. It was times like this, when she realized how much food she was wasting, that Hermione wished she ate more if only to properly show her appreciation to the House Elves for the work they have to do. Unfortunately her stomach would not retain that much food this morning so she settled for some toast and orange juice.

The quiet in the hall was deafening. Every clink of silverware sent a small jolt to her spine and every whispered word raised suspicion. No one spoke above a whisper following some unspoken rule. In this vacuum of sound it was impossible not to notice every person who entered or left so Hermione's head snapped up to see Severus enter the hall just as it had for everyone else. He was wearing his uniform's white button down shirt and a pair of trousers that were too large for his skinny waist and had to be held up with a belt. His shoes were scuffed, his hair lank as always, and dark circles were prominent on the pale skin under his eyes. Much the opposite of last night where he had attempted to put his self together.

Severus had not had much sleep the night before. After the party ended, Lucius reminded Severus of what he was supposed to do today all the while teasing the younger wizard about his dancing skills or lack of. Then Severus returned to his bed much later than usual and lay down thinking about his task, his decision. He understood the logic behind the pureblood's cause but didn't necessarily agree as he had seen living proof against it time and again. He himself as a half blood proved it wrong so he was not willing to put his life on the line for a cause that was so flawed but it could be more dangerous to refuse. He was put into Slytherin for a reason, he knew how to survive. But could his mental sanity survive assisting the man destroying so many lives. Lucius said it wasn't that bad but Severus suspected that new entries weren't allowed a full look at everything at first if ever. Plus Lucius was mostly monetary support if Severus' hunch was correct whereas Severus would be working on potions. On top of that, whether he liked it or not he now had Hermione on his conscious. He had to help her make her choice, how he got into this position he wasn't sure but he refused to fail. But could she ever be safe no matter what choice she choose?

He sat down and looked over at the girl in question who had returned to her toast. He did not 'love' her and he was fairly sure he did not have a crush on her but he did care and did not want to lose her to this senseless bloodshed. Severus settled for a bowl of cereal and ate quickly as he saw Hermione leave the Great Hall. As he left after her he could only think of one place where she would be and that of course was the library. He headed in the direction of her haven of learning as he went over everything in his head. What was the best choice for them? Could she handle the life offered or would it kill her slowly?

He imagined Hermione as she was last night when they danced and his mind said no, someone so innocent could not handle it. But then he remembered her duel and the scars he caught a glimpse of. That look in her eyes said yes, she could handle anything coming her way; they said not much could be worse than what she had already seen. But did she deserve to see anymore? Should her strength be tested in such a way, either way?

Fight against the Dark Lord or join him for protection?

Severus made his decision and chose which path he wanted to sway his friend.

**Okay this new attempt at friendship sounds sudden I know, trust me it won't be without tension. Think of it as more of a truce and they have to grow up at some point.**

**So what do you guys think? What should they do? Leave a review**


	22. You want me to what?

**To answer some questions: Hermione will regain memories gradually and the romance shall sprout when the muse demands it which should be soon. If you are wondering how long this will be I plan on going until the end! You cannot finish a HP story with Voldy still alive unless it is like a Tomione or something.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter would I need to be preparing myself for at least three college level calculus courses?**

Hermione sat at the same table she always did whenever she waited for Severus in the library. Surely if he needed to speak to her now he would know to come here. As she waited she pulled out one of the few books from her purse that she kept. The text books were still in the Headmaster's possession to prevent anyone from seeing the contents or copyright date. The books Hermione kept were books on the subject of darker magic, she didn't want the Headmaster to know she owned them and she reluctantly had to admit that she found them interesting. Not that she would ever use the spells mentioned but knowledge is power.

Despite being hidden away any noise put her on edge. She believed that Severus would be the only one to come into the library on the first day of vacation but she wasn't sure. Reading these books always made her paranoid, what if someone caught her? What if that someone for some reason realized that it was different than current books on the subject? Surely these had new spells that were invented in the next twenty years. Honestly she shouldn't be reading them in the first place; this was the kind of book a Slytherin would read behind everyone's back not a Gryffindor. Finally Hermione decided to put the book, which focused on mind magic, back into the purse and think of other things as she waited for Severus.

She did not allow her thoughts to dwell on the discussion she was about to have as anything concerning Malfoy and the Dark Lord just made her anxious. Instead she skipped over that and thought of her dance with Severus. He was obviously inexperienced in the area especially when compared to Lucius but it was the highlight of her night. Not only was she away from all the questions and flattery of Slughorn and his guests but she was spending time with her friend. Sure he didn't talk to her after saying he would talk to her today but it was nice. Severus seemed a little nervous but she wasn't sure if it was about the dance or the talk.

She remembered seeing Lily and the guys' faces when they saw her dancing with Severus, she was sure they would bring that up last night but they only mentioned the dance with Lucius. Perhaps Severus knocked some sense into them during those duels or maybe they were scared of her. They were quite a few people who were still jumpy around her after the incident with Dolohov. Maybe she should just let it go as she doubted this attitude would last until the New Year. Besides she didn't plan on becoming buddy-buddy with them anyway. Hopefully there would be less tension in the Tower and she could spend more time with Remus.

Finally she heard the distinct sound of someone entering the library and their footsteps heading in her general direction. _'Deep breathes, Hermione, deep breathes. You've been through worse, I think.'_ Hermione bit her lip in anticipation for whatever it was that Severus had to say about Lucius' infuriating comment. Of course she was worthy of her magic, it was hers. It coursed through her veins, resided in her blood just like any pureblood. Accusing people of stealing wands, stealing magic at age eleven, it was insulting and despicable and whoa…

Lucius didn't say that. Someone did but not Lucius, not last night. Then who and when? She knew she heard someone say that but not recently… A memory it had to be. Was that what this world was coming to? That wasn't a private opinion; it was said in public as if a law. She couldn't remember anything else but if she ever remembered the speaker then he or she better start running. Hermione dropped her head and began rubbing her temples trying to reel in the memory. She almost remembered a woman, an obnoxious woman when a skidding chair made the memory go away.

"Damn it," Hermione mumbled under her breath.

"If you wanted to hide from me this was not the place to go," Severus snipped, a little hurt that she appeared upset to see him.

"I wasn't trying to hide from you. I was just irritated because… Look it does not matter, just tell me what you need to tell me so we can move on and have a relaxing vacation," Hermione asked even though she knew in her gut that last part wouldn't happen.

"If only it were that easy," Severus said mostly to himself, then he cast a muffliato. "First tell me what all Lucius said to you."

Hermione scoffed, "Pureblood supremacy nonsense." She then attempted to imitate the blonde wizard's sophisticated drawl, "They only want to preserve their culture and keep the future bright."

"That is true," Severus said then held up his hand as Hermione glared at him. "It is, they are going about it the wrong way but that is their goal. Not to mention they just hate those they exclude. Did he say anything else?"

Hermione huffed and crossed her arms, "He said that the Dark Lord and his minions find me to be one of the few _mudbloods,_" Severus flinched at the word ever so slightly, "'worthy of their magic.' What right do they have to judge and decide?"

"They don't have the right; their arrogance makes them believe they do."

"Well they need to be knocked down a couple notches."

"Get in line Hermione, they are many people already waiting for the chance." Severus smirked, "I have a feeling though that you actually have a chance with some of the bigots."

"Thanks for the compliment. Now please explain why Lucius was trying to convince me of his way if I am something that he hates? Is it because I'm 'worthy'?"

"Exactly," Severus said. "But there's more to it than that. They want to recruit people, bring them to their cause. They have been badgering me for years for my talent with potions. I was recently informed that You-Know-Who has recognized your potential as well as Lily Evans' and wants to recruit you two. I told them it would be impossible to sway Lily."

Hermione narrowed her eyes, "And what did you say about me?"

Severus sighed and looked every bit as tired as he felt, "Hermione listen to me as I explain everything. I have been trying to avoid them for years, almost as long as I've been at Hogwarts. But I never said no outright because to do so is suicide. Everyone who refuses You-Know-Who dies. My life may suck but I'm still quite fond of living. Unfortunately I can avoid the question any longer, they expect an answer. The only protection I could hope to have is under Dumbledore and I'm sure you can see the problems with that. Lily will be made a target for the Death Eaters, an example to anyone who refuses. She will not be actively hunted down but if a follower has a chance at killing her then he will take it. The same will happen to you if you refuse."

"_If? _You think there's a chance that I will accept?" Hermione asked in disbelief.

"Your situation will be different than mine," Severus began to explain, "No dark mark, you won't be a true Death Eater. I don't know what they will ask of you, probably just research…"

"To help them win," she interrupted indignantly.

"You have no other options. You are considered more valuable than Lily, there's a chance that you will become a prime target if you refuse. When Lucius told me this and gave me the task to tell you, you became my responsibility," Severus explained, "I don't want you to die when I could have prevented it."

"You want your conscious clean."

"No, it's more than that. You're my… friend. I care, as much as I hate to admit it, and I don't want you to die."

"We could go to Dumbledore, he doesn't hate you that much."

"You know that he does."

"If I fight in this war it will be _against_ You-Know-Who."

"You will die, even with protection from Dumbledore it will only be a matter of time."

"Everyone dies at some point," Hermione pointed out, standing now though she didn't remember getting out of her chair.

"But it doesn't need to be now," Severus said very loudly as he stood and placed his hands on Hermione's shoulders. "I don't want you to die, Hermione. This life won't be easy but you will be alive."

"As I support the deaths of countless people? Do I really want to be alive in that scenario?" Hermione posed.

"As long as you are alive you can escape," Severus countered and looked her straight in the eye, "It won't be forever, we will find a way to escape at some point but for now we need to accept and survive. Maybe you can even give some inside info to the 'good guys' when we flee so you can fulfill your Gryffindor need to be a hero. We need to bide our time and get out of this alive."

Hermione would have yelled at him for being a coward and refused to be a traitor when a little something began to scratch at the back of her brain. A dim light coming from a light bulb of an idea in the back of her head along with all the forgotten memories that plagued her. Some bit of information that she recognized to be vitally important, something about his remark on giving away information. She needed to think, she needed to remember.

"Severus, I'm going to have to sit down think about this. I'll get back to you when I have an answer, okay?"

"Of course," Severus said trying to hold in the relief that she was at least considering this. Hermione grabbed her purse and swept past him, determined to get to her empty room where no one could bother her.

XXXXXXX

Hermione made it to her room in record time and threw herself onto her bed face down. She tried to concentrate on the memory, that dim light but as always it eluded her. She let out a scream of frustration that was muffled by her comforter and tugged at her hair.

Why oh why couldn't her life be simple? Why did it seem to always be filled with pain and hard decisions? No new memories came but she knew her whole life she was different and at any point she was being singled out for some reason or another.

Hermione didn't realize she was crying until she noticed the damp spot under her face on the comforter. Hermione flipped over onto her back and tried to relax. Resorting to her deep breathing exercises from earlier Hermione found herself asleep from the combined exhaustion of a sleepless night and stressful emotions.

At first her sleep was deep but then as her eyes began to move during REM images cut through the pitch black vision that had been in front of her closed eyes. Images flashed by, images that flowed into her conscious mind as the light bulb in her subconscious brightened. Images of a much older Dumbledore and an almost middle aged man that appeared to be Severus. The dream Severus yanked up his sleeve to show a hideous mark on his left forearm. The mark struck fear in Hermione but Dumbledore tried to calm her and explained that he was on their side. He was a spy.

Then the images were gone and left Hermione sleeping for a couple minutes more before she roused from her nap. The clock said she had slept for about an hour and a half but Hermione was more concerned with what she believed to be a memory that appeared in her sleep. Like any other dream important details slipped away from her as she tried to hold onto them. Only one detail of the dream-memory stayed concrete in her mind: Severus the spy.

Hermione had her answer.

XXXXXXX

"Severus!" Hermione called as she entered the library. She had no reason to believe he was still in here but if he wasn't she had no idea where to find him. She was promptly shushed by a Madame Pince who gestured for her to exit the library. Hermione did so grudgingly but was joined in the hallway by the very Slytherin she was looking for.

"Yes, yelling in the library in front of Madame Pince is a very good idea," Severus remarked sarcastically.

"Oh, shut it you. Look I have an idea concerning our little problem. It will include Dumbledore though," Hermione said.

"Any plan including Dumbledore and myself working together has to will work wonders, I'm sure," he said with a roll of his eyes.

"Tone down the sarcasm and let me explain before you get all pessimistic. You don't want to actually help _him_ do you?"

"No."

"Then show me some place I can tell you the plan in private before we talk to Dumbledore."

"Fine, follow me I know somewhere we can go." Severus took the lead and led Hermione to an abandoned old classroom she had never noticed before. "The castle has many secrets," Severus explained as he tapped a brick that triggered the audible click of the classroom door unlocking. The room looked like any normal classroom but it had a thick layer of dust that looked impossible to completely remove.

Severus sat down in one of the cob webby chairs after a quick flick of his wand removed most of the filth and then once again cast muffliato. "Okay, now tell me this great plan of yours?"

"Alright first do you know anything about occlumency?" Hermione asked remembering the book she was reading earlier. This skill would be necessary for the plan to work at all as she was sure the Dark Lord had some skills in finding traitors amongst his ranks and this was the only foolproof way to keep them safe.

"Yes, I'm actually quite good at it," Severus answered. He had began learning the skill as a side project and found that he had a natural talent for it.

"Do you think we could both know enough by graduation to face an accomplished legilimens?"

"Depends," Severus said cautiously, "Who exactly are you suggesting?"

"Voldemort."

"Are you insane?"

"No just… look there's a lot I need to tell you but my basic plan is that we join Voldemort but as double agents, we'll be protected by both Dumbledore and Voldemort. And we'll be helping fight that monster."

Severus looked at her like she had grown a second head. "Again I ask, are you insane? What possibly makes you think this would work?"

Hermione paused for a moment and wondered what she should tell him. Nothing would convince Severus to do this except the truth, if she could convince him of that. She would need Dumbledore to help her with this one. Hermione closed her eyes and asked, "You know that secret of mine?"

"Well don't know what it is but I'm guessing it has to do with your crazy scheme."

Hermione knew no easy way to say this so she blurted it out, "I'm from the future."

**I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist. This would have been posted much earlier but my internet is stupid**

**Please review even if it is just to hate me for this cliffhanger**


	23. Spies

**I'm sorry I made you guys wait so long after a cliff hanger, I've been busy and writing a little bit at a time when I could. We actually had to put my dog, Bruiser, to sleep on the eighteenth. We've had him for nine years and I miss him. Other than that I've had class and now the Olympics-GO TEAM USA!- around which my schedule will now revolve until the 'interesting' sports are over. Sorry ribbon dancing but I'm not watching you.**

**Disclaimer: not mine**

Severus sat there for a few moments staring at Hermione after she made her declaration. Just as she began to wonder if she had somehow shocked him into paralysis he stood up and walked over to her. He grabbed her chin none too lightly and forced her to look up at him so that he could examine her eyes. "Are you drunk?"

It took Hermione a second to register what he said. "What? Severus I'm being serious."

"So am I," Severus said. He then continued his examination of her face and spoke his thoughts out loud, "Your pupils aren't dilated and you don't smell as if you've used alcohol or drugs, so that rules out the obvious culprits."

She swatted his hand away, "Stop it Severus, is it really so hard to believe? You are aware of the existence of time turners aren't you?"

"Of course but they only go hours at a time and when people say they're 'from the future' they generally mean by a few years. There's also that crazy scheme you've come up with, I think I should take you to Madame Pomfrey."

"And after asking why I told you she would confirm my story. Madame Pomfrey already knows as does Headmaster Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall," she left out Remus since she felt that bit of news wouldn't help her argument.

Severus looked at her incredulously, "And they believe you? Or are they just humoring you?"

"They came up with the theory!" Hermione said, getting angry.

"Then they are insane."

Hermione stood up from her chair, "Just come with me to the Headmaster's office, he can explain it better than I can."

Severus just shook his head in disbelief, surely this wasn't the same girl he had thought to be so intelligent. "I wonder, exactly how many years into the future do you believe you are from?"

"Our guess is about twenty years," Hermione answered.

"Twenty years is impossible."

"During this time but obviously not then."

"Let's pretend I believe you," Severus said, "tell me why you are here in the past? Is it to convince me to be a spy? Or is it just for kicks?"

Hermione turned away, "I… I don't know, I think it was an accident. I wasn't lying about the amnesia, I have no idea why I'm here or who I am in my time. I get flashes of memory, I recognize some people but that's it. Nothing truly solid except…"

"Except what?" Severus prompted her to continue.

Hermione decided that she might as well tell him everything hoping to make him believe her. It was their only chance from her point of view. "That incident with Dolohov, the reason why I attacked him so fiercely. When I saw him there ready to attack I remembered a battle of some sort. I got hit by a nasty curse that left this horrid scar on my torso," she explained gesturing at the general area of that particular scar, "I remembered the man who gave me this scar, it was an older Dolohov or it will be. Seeing him again, even a younger him, triggered that memory and the subsequent attack."

"And you expect me to believe this with no proof?"

"Of course not, I know you better than that. Come with me to the Headmaster's office and we'll explain." Hermione walked to the door before stopping and waiting for Severus to follow her.

Severus rolled his eyes, "Fine I'll play along and then we'll get back to reality."

"We never left Severus now let's go, I hope the Headmaster's in his office right now."

XXXXXXX

After a rather silent walk from the abandoned class room, the two students arrived in front of the gargoyle entrance they both knew well. However they did not know the password and as Hermione rambled off names of candies and sweets waited for entrance to be granted.

"Cockroach clusters, lemon drops, lemon squares…" Suddenly the spiral staircase began to reveal itself. "Thank Merlin he's predictable about this."

"It would be better if we could knock or something," Severus complained. Hermione agreed with his comment with a nod and began the climb up the stone steps with Severus following close behind. Finally they reached the door where they heard the Headmaster's voice calling them in. When they opened the door they found Headmaster Dumbledore sitting at his cluttered desk with Fawkes by his side and Professor McGonagall in the chair in front of him.

"Miss Jean and Mr. Snape, this is a surprise. What brings you here on your first day of break? And would either of you like a lemon drop?" the Headmaster asked though the twinkle in his blue eyes hinted that he really did not need the explanation.

Hermione stepped forward and answered, "No, thank you. Headmaster, I need you to explain and prove to Severus that I am from the future."

"What?" the Head of Gryffindor exclaimed, "Miss Jean why on Earth are you sharing this secret? And with him of all people?"

"No offense taken, Professor," Severus said sarcastically from his spot by the door earning a stern look bordering on a glare.

"Now Minerva, I'm sure Miss Jean has a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why she has chosen to confide in Mr. Snape, she did well telling Mr. Lupin didn't she?" Headmaster Dumbledore said innocently to calm his colleague but Hermione help but be irritated at the older wizard when she thought of Severus' reaction. He may admit that Remus was the least bothersome Marauder but there were still no warm feelings between the two.

"Headmaster I'll explain why later but could you please convince Severus first?" Hermione asked.

"Alright then, go ahead and take a seat both of you," Dumbledore said as he conjured two more seats on either side of Professor McGonagall. Hermione took the seat to her Professor's right while Severus took her left side, barely showing that he was at all uncomfortable. "Mr. Snape, how much has Miss Jean told you?" Dumbledore asked.

"She told me that _you_ told her she was from twenty years into the future," Severus said with an accusatory tone then curtly added, "that's it."

"Nothing else?" Dumbledore asked curiously.

Hermione spoke up, "I did mention my faint memories and what happened with Dolohov."

"Okay then, well Mr. Snape there isn't much to explain. Miss Jean's memories are being blocked by something, some injury or spell. However some are pushing through like the memory of Mr. Dolohov. From the very beginning she recognized many members of the staff, the student body, and the castle itself despite never actually being here or meeting these people. We had no idea what to make of it except that maybe we resembled people she once knew until Professor McGonagall inspected her text books in your first Transfiguration class. I assume you remember that day?"

Severus nodded, "She came here and sparked a thousand new rumors about herself."

"Yes well, her text books during inspection appeared to have come from the year 1996. We have cast every spell to prove their authenticity and if you read the books you will find groundbreaking spells, research, and historic currently happening as we speak being spoken of as if they happened twenty years in the past."

"Headmaster is it wise to be reading them? I thought we decided to lock them up and let history go as planned?"

"True but I had to take a peak to confirm my theory about your origins."

"Anything else?" Severus asked.

"No, nothing concerning the future."

"Well I need more proof. A misprinted copyright date and your assurances are not enough to convince me."

The Headmaster leaned back into his chair and appeared to ponder for a moment before coming to a conclusion. "Miss Jean why must Mr. Snape believe us?"

Hermione looked around the three pairs of eyes now staring at her. Piercing black ones brought back quick flashes of the tall dark man fighting, sneaking about, brewing potions. He had to be Severus, the one in the future that spied for Dumbledore. Something instinctively told her that he played a major role in the war, that he saved lives. "Because I remember him now, more clearly than anyone else. In the future, my past, he plays a vital part in the war. He works here as a potions master but he's also a spy. He's part of You-Know-Who's inner circle but he works for us in reality." Everyone stared at her silently in disbelief as she continued. "We've both been asked to join You-Know-Who and we have no way out but I remember now what will happen. I don't know why he became a spy in the first place but we can start now. The Death Eaters won't kill us and we can help end the war."

"Are you a hundred percent sure about this Miss Jean? It will be very risky," the Headmaster asked.

"You can't be going along with this can you Albus?" Professor McGonagall raised in a protective tone, "They are just children and shouldn't be involved."

"They are already involved Minerva."

"Headmaster, she," Severus began, gesturing towards Hermione, "wants us to go in front of the Dark Lord with nothing but Occlumency defending us."

"And acting and skills in dueling," Hermione protested. "You are a naturally strong Occlumens, you said so yourself and you'll become one of the best, I know that. And I'm not that bad already, the Headmaster will remember as much from our first meeting. I remember very clearly that you are our best weapon. You-Know-Who has you spying on Dumbledore, Dumbledore has you spying on You-Know-Who, they both know it, both believe they know where your loyalties lie but you do side with us."

"How do you know?" Professor McGonagall asked, "how do you know he hasn't tricked you?"

"Because… because I just do. I don't know how I know but I do. If we train ourselves in occlumency and everything else we'll need, we'll be able to pull this off. Severus is one the best spies in history, and he's too clever and too skilled to be caught."

"But what about you?" Severus asked. "You weren't a spy were you? Or is that where you got your scars?"

"I wasn't a spy," Hermione answered knowing it was true. "But I have no other option. Don't worry Severus, we'll try to be as separate as possible around the Death Eaters so if I mess up you won't be dragged down with me. I'm sure if anyone questions you, you can talk your way out of it."

"And let you die?" he pointed out, incredulous.

"If necessary, though I'd prefer a way out if at all possible."

"Let's say everything goes according to plan for Mr. Snape, what are the chances that you'll be assigned to spying on me as well?" Dumbledore inquired.

"If I have a job here, like an assistant to Madame Pomfrey or something, I, like Severus, will be a shoe in."

"There won't be a need," Severus said, "They don't want her doing anything yet, just her support at the moment while I'm supposed to work on potions."

"I'll give you jobs as a potions apprentice and nursing apprentice anyway to put you into perfect positions. You'll be safer here anyway. Mr. Snape, you will also have the opportunity to earn your potions mastery through all of this."

Professor McGonagall sighed, "It sounds as if you are determined to see this through."

"We are Minerva. So Mr. Snape, are you willing to believe in Miss Jean's future?"

"I'll agree this is a good plan, as good as any, but I still think your future theory is insane."

XXXXXXX

Later that night, Hermione stood bundled up in the astronomy tower looking up at the sky with a dreamy expression. It was too cold for any couples who would be too distracted to maintain a warming charm so it was perfectly empty aside from the bushy haired Gryffindor surrounded by floating blue flames she had conjured for herself.

She was startled from her daydreaming by the sound of someone entering the tower. The next moment Severus was standing beside her, leaning on the railing. "So you actually think we'll pull this off?" his deep voice asked after a few moments of silence.

"I know we will." There was silence again for a few moments but neither one looked at each other; they kept their eyes trained on the sky.

"So why did you tell Lupin? What role does he play in the war?"

"I'm not sure, I didn't tell him for the same reasons I told you. I told him because I knew I could trust him. I know him in the future somehow, the rest of the Marauders, and Lily, and the staff too. I can tell who I trusted and who I didn't."

"Is that why you hate Pettigrew?"

Hermione frowned, "I don't know what he did to me, but I hate him more than you know."

Severus turned to look at her and changed the subject, "If I'm such a great double agent why does an eighteen year old girl know my secret loyalties?" Hermione remained silent. Severus raised his brows, "If you really 'knew' but didn't know how you'd say as much. You don't know do you? You never did?"

"With everyone else it is black and white, but from the very beginning you were gray. I don't think you were permanently on either side, I think you were on your own side whatever kept you alive. I didn't trust your future self completely but I trust you now."

Severus stepped closer and whispered, "So you're completely aware of the fact that I could turn on you?"

"Yes," Hermione swallowed, "But I don't think you will."

**Question of the day: if you were an Olympic athlete which sport would you want it to be? And would any of you compete for a country you don't currently live in? I always wanted to be a gymnast when I was little, once I got into a class I realized that I did not have the drive or physical ability to make that happen.**


	24. Morning After

**Holy crap, I'm moving into my dorm in a couple of days. As of next Monday, college officially starts, I'm so nervous or I would be if I could wrap my head around the fact. Maybe writing for you guys will bring back some feeling of normalcy.**

**Disclaimer: I'm not that great of a writer, of course I didn't write the Harry Potter series.**

The second day of winter break began much more somber for four of the castle's residents. One spent the night plotting, another worrying, and the last two were trying to ignore the feeling of finality until the first occlumency lesson. Hermione went to look out her window and saw the pristine white snow severely altered by the winter activities of children. The smooth expanse of white was now reshaped by footprints and snow forts and snow men. Hermione thought that this could be symbolic of something in her life right now, maybe how her simple school life was no longer just that, but she didn't want to think about it too much. After a night of sleep, the reality of what she is going to do has started to sink in. She had volunteered to go to the darkest wizard of all time, one who hated everything about her, and lie straight to his face as she pledged her allegiance. No wonder Severus thought she was insane, it was a wonder he agreed to join.

The teenage wizard currently in Hermione's thoughts was also sitting in his room, contemplating yesterday's events as he looked out his window which had a view into the lake's waters. Yesterday was very confusing, his conversation with Hermione was not anything like he suspected. The outcome was fairly similar in that they would go to the Dark Lord but the reasons and the path to that conclusion were drastically different. A plan for survival had turned into espionage with a time traveling twist, just thinking about it gave him a headache. He had been sorted into Slytherin, hadn't he? Where were his survival instincts? He had practically accepted a suicide mission, never before would he have done something this stupid especially for some girl he barely knew. He had never cared enough about someone else before to go to such lengths to protect them, maybe Lily, _maybe_ his mother. And yet he wasn't even bothering to try and help Lily was he? Not one word had been said to anyone about how Lily would also be summoned. She wouldn't speak to him but she would have listened to Hermione or Dumbledore, all he had to do was say the word. But no the thought had never crossed his mind, he was too preoccupied with Hermione's safety.

How much did care for this mysterious girl? He certainly spent a good amount of time with, missed her when she was angry at him for that short period of time. He was unusually protective of her, begging her to choose the safest route, and he got jealous over her. Yes he hated to admit it but he had gotten jealous when he heard that Lupin already knew her secrets because she trusted him automatically. Hermione didn't tell _him_ out of trust, no Severus only knew because he needed to for her plan. Logic said she admitted she trusted him last night but logic's voice was being talked over at the moment.

So how much did he care for Hermione? A lot more than he should. How much did he care for Lily now? Surprisingly not that much. Severus turned to his nightstand where a letter from the red head lay. She had swallowed her pride long enough to write a letter _saying_ she forgave but noting she did not want to go back to the way things were before until he left his Death Eater friends for good. There was also a ps warning him not to hurt Hermione. Severus thought about it but the image of being friends with Lily again didn't have the same appeal as it did before. It was odd, he thought he would always love Lily but apparently, not that he was in love with Hermione. No that would be stupid, allowing his self to make that same mistake again especially with chance that she could easily die within the foreseeable future due the damned Dark Lord. He had a feeling that the heartbreak he experience with Lily would be multiplied several times over in that scenario.

Emotions needed to be set aside for now and he needed to focus on the plan if he wanted any chance at success. Deep meditation and a blank, walled off mind was exactly what the Slytherin needed right then.

XXXXXX

Both students received notes that afternoon that requested their presence in Professor McGonagall's office. Not expected but not surprising, there was going to be a meeting eventually and neither had any doubt that was what this was.

Hermione was the first to arrive at the Transfiguration professor's office as it was relatively close to what was generally considered Gryffindor territory. Hermione knocked on the door and waited to hear her Head of House's voice welcome her in before opening the door.

"Good afternoon, Hermione," the older witch greeted as she stood up behind her desk. The younger felt a strange sense of déjà vu as she saw the Headmaster standing in front of the desk, a reversal of yesterday's meeting. The room was neat and tidy with a few little knick-knacks showcasing her Scottish heritage and furniture that looked fit for a countryside cottage. The thing that caught Hermione's attention the most, aside from the two adults in the room, was a little bible and a book of catechisms. Again she wondered at religion's place in the Wizarding world.

"Good afternoon Professor McGonagall, Headmaster. May I ask why we are meeting here instead of the Headmaster's office?"

The Headmaster answered with a twinkle in his eye as if he found her question amusing, "We do not wish to draw any attention to the two of you. We believed it would be less noticeable if you two came here. We will begin once Mr. Snape arrives which may take a few minutes, it is a trek from the dungeons. May I ask, Ms. Jean, what you have been up to today? Have you had anymore memories?" As the last questions were asked the Headmaster's twinkle dimed and the Transfiguration professor frowned, the hinting at today's topic sobering the room's atmosphere.

"No more memories sir, I've been in the library reading a little more about occlumency and legilimency," Hermione answered, leaving out her browsing of her darker books in her room that morning once she stopped staring out the window. She wanted to know what she was up against and what she might possibly be asked to do. The majority of those spells put the Killing Curse to shame and violently turned her stomach. She dearly hoped her support would be all that was ever asked of her. A cynical voice in her head that sounded suspiciously like Severus snorted, '_Fat chance._'

She knew the voice was right and went back to paying attention to the Headmaster as he nodded, "Good, it is best that you two learn as much about those subjects as possible but you will also need Mr. Snape to teach you a thing or two about acting, otherwise Voldemort will not even need to look into your mind to see that you are lying. It would also be best if you practice your dueling, I believe that will be the easiest part. Do you two agree?"

The word two alerted Hermione to the presence of Severus who had snuck in after her and was now standing at her side. Severus saw the look of surprise on Hermione's face and rolled his eyes. "I only walked in a few seconds ago, _walked_ not _sneaked_. You need to be more aware of your surroundings."

"Another thing that you could teach her perhaps?" the older wizard suggested.

"Of course, it should not be too difficult," the lone Slytherin drawled.

"I should ask you as well how you've spent your day."

"I meditated," Severus said curtly.

"What if they get caught?" the Transfiguration professor demand, "Their lives would be forfeit."

Dumbledore turned to face his colleague. "I understand your worry, Minerva, but it is not as if I am forcing them. This is their choice; if they choose to say no and ask for my protection then I will set up a safe house immediately." He then turned back to the students, "Do you either of you want me to do so?"

Hermione shook her head, "No, I'm sure this is the best route."

"And you Mr. Snape?"

"I agree," he said with none of the hesitance he felt entering his voice.

"Well then, you are free to change your minds at any time before you are approached at which point it will be too late. Now I suggest you practice the skills I mentioned earlier together on your own time. Periodically either I or Professor McGonagall will check your progress. There is a room where you will be guaranteed privacy as you practice. Have either of you ever heard of the Room of Requirement?"

Severus shook his head in the negative but Hermione hesitantly gave a nod. "I recognize the name, it's… it's a secret room isn't it? Fit for anyone's needs?"

Dumbledore's twinkle brightened again, "Just about, walk in front of the space of wall three times with a need and a door will appear. Behind it you will find whatever you asked for: training room, potions lab, a bathroom, etc. It will even provide any books or equipment you require, within the laws of magic of course so no food will be created or anything like that. It is in the seventh floor corridor across the hall from Barnabas the Barmy. I would suggest that you use a notice-me-not charm whenever you go and make sure to ask the room to lock its self off to any outsiders while you are inside. Now I believe there is a staff meeting today that Professor McGonagall and I must run off to, you two can use the rest of the day for work or whatever you need to do for your task. Good day." Dumbledore then strode out of the room.

"Please promise you will try to stay safe," the Transfiguration teacher pleaded. Hermione was touched but not surprised by her Head of House's request and promised she would try.

Severus on the other hand was shocked and suspicious, though it did not show, when the woman who always supported his tormentors—the werewolf incident could've been an exception had she known—waited for his answer. Since when did she care for his wellbeing? Even had she known about the nearly fatal prank she would have been more concerned for Lupin than Severus. She never trusted him, still didn't trust him to not turn to the Dark Lord, though that was probably wise. Perhaps she linked Hermione's safety to his? That was the only explanation Severus could think of. As she was still waiting for an answer Severus gave a nod and she seemed a little relieved. "Thank you now can you please exit so I may reset my wards?" she asked returning to her normal stern demeanor.

The students exited and proceeded to head to the staircases side by side as McGonagall reset her wards on her office door. No one was wondering the halls at the moment so neither student felt a notice-me-not charm was necessary but Severus discreetly placed one on their persons anyway, just in case. Hermione led the way to where Headmaster Dumbledore said the room was since Severus was obviously less familiar with the area now that they were deep into Gryffindor territory where he had only ventured a few times during his career as a Hogwarts student. Hermione saw Severus tense a little in response to being in enemy territory but said nothing, knowing he would not appreciate having it pointed out.

They finally reached the portrait of Barnabas and across from him was what appeared to be a blank wall. "So do you want to give it a try or should I?" Hermione asked her companion.

"I don't believe it matters very much," Severus answered as he walked up to the wall and began his paces. It felt a bit stupid but he tried to take it seriously as he asked the room for 'someplace private.' He looked up to see the wall still empty.

"Perhaps you should phrase the request differently," Hermione suggested.

Annoyed, Severus tried again. 'We need a room to hide our activities,' he said in his head three times. When he again saw nothing, he let out a low growl of frustration. This time he paced a little faster as he demanded, 'We need a place to train in private. We need a room to train in safety. We need to train to stay alive!' He heard Hermione gasp before he looked up to see a door appear before him.

"Finally," the Slytherin grumbled as he opened the new door. Inside he saw a dueling platform on the far end of the room with a little first aid station next to it sans the actual potions or ingredients he would have to bring himself. Bookshelves lined the right hand wall filled with books. A little sitting area was arranged around a fireplace in the closest right hand corner. On the left was another sitting area bare of anything interesting and a curtain to shut it out from the rest of the room, perfect for learning occlumency.

"This is amazing," Hermione whispered as she looked in over Severus' shoulder, a feat requiring that he stand on her tiptoes.

"It is… acceptable," Severus conceded before finally walking into the room. As the door closed behind Hermione there was an audible lock letting them know that the room was secure.

"So where should we start?" Hermione asked handing the reigns over to Severus for their little sessions as it was obvious he knew the most in these areas.

"We are both decent duelers, so that can wait and you have probably done enough reading for today," Severus said with a slightly teasing tone when commenting on Hermione and books, even if he did read as much as she did. "What can you tell me of occlumency?"

"The act of magically closing one's mind against legilimency," Hermione answered.

"A text book definition and a simple one at that," Severus scolded. "When done correctly occlumency will close off your mind but also your emotions. It will help keep your tells off of your face when you lie."

"Something I need help with?"

"Very much so, let's see how skilled you are in occlumency so far. Hopefully you are capable of putting some of those facts you know into practice." Severus suddenly turned on her and said, "Legilimens."

Hermione felt Severus enter her mind and instinctively throw up her walls like she had with Dumbledore. Severus poked and prodded for a little bit before pulling out. "A strong basic defense but you'll need something less amateur for the Dark Lord."

"Amateur?" Hermione exclaimed, offended and a little angry over his sudden attack of her mind. "I kept you out didn't I? And the Headmaster my first day here."

"Only because neither one of us forced our way in, the Dark Lord won't be so courteous. Lucius has told me that _He_ will invade the minds of any of his followers at anytime to insure their loyalty. Gryffindor tactics won't work here. The Dark Lord will crash through your wall, perhaps without even noticing it existed, and your whole mind will be open to him. We need to create subtle walls around the important stuff, create false memories and twist a few real ones, and lead You-Know-Who to what we want him to see. This is extremely difficult and quite frankly is still beyond my reach but if we want this insane plan of yours to work this we need to make it work."

Hermione sighed, "This will be harder than I thought."

"Well then you obviously didn't think this through enough," Severus snapped. He had hoped she would be a little more skilled than this. What was she thinking going to the Dark Lord with her mind in this state? At least he could feasibly accomplish what he needed to by the deadline, Hermione may have to go to a safe house after all.

"What do I need to do first?" she demanded a little frustrated.

"First let's identify what you need to hide. Our mission obviously, your true feelings towards the cause, and the fact that you are from the future." Severus pinched the bridge of his nose as he thought, "We can't block off your whole past as that would be obvious and your amnesia will be a sever handicap. You won't like this but I'll need to break through and… look around. Find facts that _must _be hidden so you can be aware of them."

Hermione backed up, "No, I don't even know what's in there, I'm not letting you in!"

"You have to! Do you want to die? Or let the Dark Lord learn secrets about the future?"

"…. No."

"Then let me do this."

Hermione sat down by the fireplace in a cushy brown chair and thought for a few moments. It was an extreme invasion of her privacy but it would be better to have Severus do it instead of the Dark Lord.

"You have to tell me everything," Hermione said, "everything you see, I want to know more about my past."

"Fair enough, perhaps I can even release your memories. No promises though, I'm sure if that would work then Dumbledore would have already done it." Severus sat in the chair across from her and reached over. He grabbed her face in his hands, ignoring the fluttery insects now restless in his stomach, and made her look into his eyes. "Keep your walls down otherwise I'll have to break them and that can be very painful."

Hermione nodded and tried to relax, not an easy task while looking into Severus' black eyes and his hands still cradling her face. After what felt like an eternity she heard him whisper 'legilimens' and felt the intrusion of her mind.

Holding down her walls was nearly impossible, in fact she left barely a crack for Severus to slip in but it was enough and Severus was soon sifting through her mind. Finally, finally he came out with a very confused expression on his face.

Hermione was breathing too heavily to notice at first and after somewhat catching her breathe she asked, "What did you see?"

"I saw what memories you told me about and your memories here."

"And what else?" she pressed.

"A big blur," Severus answered, "Your past is just one big blur."

**I know that Dumbledore didn't know of the room in the books but we are gonna pretend that he just acted like that so he could drop a hint for Harry, totally possible really. I feel weird having Hermione let him in like that but it needed to happen and it would have happened eventually as he trained her. I hope to have another chapter up soon but how soon I don't know with college coming into the equation.**

**Please review**


	25. Training and Confusion

**Started this two weeks after college started, I'm now at the beginning of the fifth week, so yeah my time to write will not be taken for granted.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

"A blur? What do you mean a blur?" Hermione asked with a strange combination of disappointment, relief, and curiosity.

"I mean exactly what I said," Severus said frustrated, he saw exactly what he said he saw and that included the images of his self in the future- for it was the future of that he was fairly sure. He was a cruel bastard and a deceptively good actor. Severus wasn't even sure if he knew what side his future self was on but then he was looking through her perspective and in her eyes he was manipulative, biased, and particularly nasty to Hermione. She could never gain his good opinion or respect and was practically bullied along with her friends by him. And yet she respected him for his intelligence and trusted him because he protected her on more than one occasion. A small sense of déjà vu had hit him when he saw his future self place himself between her and a transformed Remus. And while it should be of little consequence any chances his foolish feelings thought he had were gone. She would forever see him as a mean old man, her former potions professor that might have been planning to kill people like her.

He saw that she was waiting for an explanations and shook off his musings. "I could move around normally in there," the Slytherin began to explain, "but aside from those few memories that you already know about everything was… out of focus I guess you could say. It was like looking through the lenses of some strong prescription muggle glasses."

"Could you make out anything at all?" Hermione questioned.

Severus shook his head. "No, it was impossible to make heads or tails of those smudges of color. I could pick up some emotions though," he admitted.

Hermione wasn't sure if that was good or not, "Like what?"

"Fear and some other deep emotions that broadcast that you've seen things like death, we already suspected that though. It might be good to conceal them from the Dark Lord, we don't want him to ask too many questions and your irretrievable past will already provide him with more than enough things to ask about," the Slytherin stood and began pacing back and forth in thought.

"Surely he'll realize that I can't answer any of them."

"Not yet and until you can he'll look for answers on his own," Severus said, "The Dark Lord loves a challenge. Besides there is still enough in there to put certain people in danger." Severus turned to Hermione, ready to ask her if he could go in again when he saw the wetness in her eyes. "Hermione?"

The brunette attempted to blink the tears out of her eyes. "Will I always be like this? A girl with no past, with no way of knowing who she is? I remember you more clearly then myself!"

Severus was not comfortable or at all able to handle emotional teenage girls. Sure he comforted Hermione before in the library when she became upset about the rumors and gossip but really all he had to do then was say that the students were idiots-which they were-and to ignore them. He couldn't really say that now but he tried. "Of course who know who you are, you're you. Besides the fog will fade eventually you'll just have to stop acting like a Gryffindor and be patient. Right now you need to work on your occlumency…"

"So suck it up and focus," Hermione finished for him, bristling. She turned away from him to look at the flames crackling in the fireplace and unconsciously began scratching at her arm.

"Basically and don't get mad about it, I'm trying to make sure the two of us get out alive. You will have to learn how to suck it up and hide your emotions. They can only lead to trouble when seen by the Dark Lord, for instance that little tell of yours," Severus said as he snatched Hermione's hand from her arm, "will let him know something is up and could lead to your death."

Hermione looked at the wrist trapped in the Slytherin's grasp in frustrated surprise. "How am I supposed to stop doing things I don't even realize I'm doing?" the Gryffindor asked in irritation.

Severus took a deep breath to calm his nerves; his temper would not help anything right now. "Figuring out _why_ you do it in the first place might help," he suggested. Hermione stayed silent, refusing to give up any information about her scratching. "I'm guessing it has to do with your scar? Don't look so surprised, I saw at least part of it in the infirmary, remember?"

Hermione sighed, "Yes, it's my scar."

She did not say any more than that and Severus grumbled, "Will I have to drag the details out of you?"

"I'm sorry I'm not eager to show off my scars," Hermione snapped. "They are ugly and horrid and the result from some hatred that I apparently fueled in someone. Do you know what it is like to wake up each morning and the first thing you have to do is cast a glamour to hide as much as possible? All while wondering who put them there and why? You saw some little nicks and scratches on my legs and arms in the infirmary but you didn't see the worst ones."

"I didn't? I hope you're exaggerating because what I saw was pretty bad."

"You did see part of one of the nasty ones," Hermione admitted.

Severus was having trouble with his temper now, what he saw was bad but it wasn't the only one? It took a lot of dark magic to make such scars resistant to healing charms. "So how many 'nasty' ones do you have?"

Hermione still didn't look at him, "Two. The rest are… minor." Then, quickly so as not to lose her nerve, Hermione yanked up her sleeve and revealed the letters carved into her forearm. He would be bound to see it eventually.

Severus barely felt any shock at her actions as his temper finally boiled over at the sight of that vile word in her skin. _Mudblood_, she was labeled, branded as if she were livestock. Through gritted teeth he asked, "Who?"

"I don't remember."

"Well at least the memories don't haunt you." _'And I won't be sent to Azkaban for killing the bastard that did this,'_ Severus added in his head. He wanted to ask about the other one but felt that would be insensitive and for once in his life he cared about such things. He looked up into Hermione's face and saw how painful this was for her even if the physical pain was long gone. He didn't think it was a good idea to continue now while she looked so close to breaking but the Dark Lord wouldn't go easy on them and they needed to prepare. "Perhaps occlumency should wait until we can discuss your situation with Dumbledore, he probably knows something that can help us." Severus was surprised by himself as these words came from his mouth and put a halt on the activity.

"So what do we do now?" Hermione asked. Severus was struck by the trusting tone in her voice. She wasn't even sure if he was fully on her side in the future but she fully trusted him with her safety.

"I suppose we could practice dueling, but we have to attend dinner first I think," Severus suggested with a quick glance at the clock. "It is later than I thought it was."

XXXXXXX

With the majority of the castle gone the Great Hall was empty and emitted an atmosphere reminiscent of a deserted ghost town. Students ate mostly in silence with the absence of their conversation partners and those that spoke did so in whispers. These whispers came from the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor tables where the lingering students grouped together for company while the Slytherins and Ravenclaws stayed in their usual spots leaving them isolated. Hermione did not join Gryffindor's group though and choose to stay at the end of the table and eat her food in silence contemplating her session with Severus.

Like many necessary things, it was painful to let Severus into her mind. And then to learn that her past was as lost as it was before, not one fact revealed, that the effort was useless. Perhaps in Severus' eyes it accomplished something, provided information about what the Dark Lord could find but at the moment Hermione could hardly care less.

Meanwhile Severus also sat alone eating and thinking in silence. But while Hermione kept her eyes on her food, Severus occasionally glanced at Hermione. Once again he was wondering why he was risking so much for this girl. He would have more time to prepare himself to survive his upcoming stint with the Death Eaters if he was not also taking care of her, he knew he could do it by himself. For some reason he just couldn't talk himself into quitting this insanely dangerous scheme.

He looked up at Hermione again. No he wouldn't quit, not if it meant her life.

XXXXXXX

Hermione returned to the Room of Requirement alone, not wanting to wait for Severus and draw any attention. As she waited for his arrival she thought about her first duel with Severus with dread and anticipation. Would she react the same way she did against Dolohov? True he had/would attack her at some point but what if it was just coincidence? She did not want to hurt Severus too badly. Then again she couldn't go too easy on him.

This lead her to think about what would happen if she developed more symptoms of Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. It seemed that each day life became more complicated.

"Aren't you going in? I'm fairly sure just loitering in front of that ridiculous portrait is not normal," Severus' voice said interrupting her thoughts and causing the subject of said portrait to look very offended.

"I'd like to see you accomplish such a task," the painted man challenged haughtily.

"What reason would anyone ever have to attempt something so idiotic?" Severus said with a roll of his eyes.

"Arguing with a portrait is just as pointless," Hermione pointed out. "They are quite literally set in their ways. As to your first question, I wasn't sure how you got the room to listen to you," she added the last part sheepishly.

Severus grumbled something under his breath before pacing in front of the blank wall three times and then entered as soon as the door appeared. Hermione followed and saw that he was already halfway to the dueling platform when she closed the door behind her. "Severus," she called out uncertainly. Her fears of having a flashback returned. Severus turned and raised a brow in response. "What if," she began, "what if I have flashback again? If I go into 'attack mode'…"

"I can defend myself," Severus assured her. "Besides you said you attacked Dolohov because he attacked you, I should be safe."

"If I only attack those who have hurt me then yes you are safe. You've only ever protected me but what if it was just the stress? What if Dolohov was just coincidental?"

"At what point did you go into the flashback?" Severus asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Did you have the flashback when you saw him go into an attack position? When you recognized him?" he pressed.

"I-I'm not sure, I think it was a combination. It all happened so fast."

The Slytherin sighed. "Well then I guess we'll just have to see if you attack me consciously or not," he said as he proceeded to go and jump onto the dueling platform.

"This isn't a good idea," Hermione mumbled as she followed. She chose to take the small flight of stairs up instead of following her partner's example. She barely got on when Severus threw the first spell. "What the? Wait a minute will ya?"

"Only beginners in a formal class are allowed that luxury and you do not qualify for that category. Now fight back," Severus demanded as he hurled another spell. Hermione blocked this one before sending a flock of particularly viscous canaries at him. As he attempted to shoo away the birds she cast a bat bogey spell that he was still able to block before lighting the canaries with blue flames. "I believe we've answered our flashback question, you actually did well against Dolohov."

Angered by his comment Hermione wildly threw a couple more powerful spells against him that he dodged and rallied against. They went back and forth almost evenly as Severus continued to taunt her. Somehow they got within close range of each other and Hermione saw an unusual opening. Careful not to telegraph her next move, Hermione landed a left hook on Severus' cheek and as he staggered immediately followed it by swinging her arm back in a hammer strike motion onto his other cheek. She felt pretty damn proud of herself until he reached out and grabbed her, spinning her until he had his arms around her and pulled her back against his chest.

"It was about time you saw that opening, nice combo by the way. Remember wizards, particularly pure bloods, will not be expecting any sort of physical attack and therefore won't defend against it and will be stunned. Don't let your guard down for a second though because they will retaliate perhaps even more violently. Apparently a punch to the face as opposed to a spell is a real insult."

Hermione nodded her head as she tried to process how he was able to trap her that fast, she hardly saw him move. She was also trying very hard not to think about the muscular chest she was pressed against. It was easier to ignore on a tiny stick high in the air but no such distractions here, she cursed her adolescent hormones.

Severus was also having trouble ignoring it, after so many times he stopped trying to ignore it and just did his best to hide his thoughts from her. _'I really need to stop putting us into this position,'_ he thought to himself. He quickly let go of her and headed for the exit. "We'll come back tomorrow, I'm sure you have some reading to do," he said.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow," she responded. She tried to reconcile the Severus she knew with the one in her memories, so similar yet so different. Not one aspect of her life was allowed to be simple it seemed.

**Please please review and let me know how the flow felt. I'm used to writing it all in one sitting whereas this happened over the course of over two weeks**


	26. Surprises

**So I just transferred all of my stories onto my brand new Darth Vader flash drive, I am so happy right now.**

Hermione sat in the library the next morning, hidden in her usual spot as she appeared to read a book about the basics of mind magic, something easily found in the library or a bookshop. In truth the title was charmed on to disguise a much more advanced and slightly dark book on legilimency with a copyright from the nineteen eighties. She believed it would help her with her lessons with Severus but all it did was stress her out as she imagined being the victim of some painful invasion. It all sounded so much worse than when Severus did it. Severus cared if he injured her or not and Hermione was prepared, few others would give her those luxuries.

She had been studying all night and caught only a few hours of sleep before waking early this morning to continue her studies. The stress and weariness must have been clear on her face when Professor McGonagall walked by. "Miss Jean," she called startling the younger witch. "Miss Jean have you slept at all last night?"

"Yes," Hermione said unconvincingly with a yawn.

The Professor gave her pupil a sympathetic look and came to sit next to her. "I don't like the situation you've been put in…"

"I chose to do this," Hermione protested.

"I know but listen to what I have to say, no interruptions." She paused for Hermione's nod of understanding. "You have been through so much these past few months; I can't even begin to imagine what you were going through before. You are far too young to have this amount of stress placed on you. Your shoulders are not strong enough to carry this burden alone and you don't have to. I won't try to convince you to hide in a safe house but I will ask you to promise me this, don't allow this to consume your every thought. Take the time to relax and be a normal teen before you are thrown into the thick of things."

"But I am not normal," Hermione interrupted, "and I can't pretend either. Normal teens complain about their parents, fight with their siblings, or spend time with friends. I have no family, few friends, and the only thing I have in common with the other students is homework which I am fairly sure is not considered relaxing."

"But if you don't take the time to relax you will become overwhelmed with stress. You need to be strong for the coming challenges and stress will only weaken you. Besides I heard you say few friends, not none. Why can't you be with them?"

"Remus is gone and rarely available while he is here due to his choice of friends. And Severus… well I'm sure you see the problems there."

"Your time with Mr. Snape does not need to be limited to training sessions. Come, you need a break in your routine," the elder witch said as she stood up.

"Where to?"

"The village, dress warmly and meet me by the front entrance in fifteen minutes. We are going Christmas shopping."

XXXXXXX

Fifteen minutes later found Hermione wrapped up warmly in her winter robes by the front entrance watching her Transfiguration professor's approach.

"Professor, am I allowed to even go to Hogsmeade? There's no trip scheduled, besides I have no money or anyone to shop for, I spent what spending money I had on my dress."

"Miss Jean, you are eighteen and are being accompanied by myself. You have plenty of people to shop for and as for money, don't concern yourself about it. The school has funds for these situations."

"Professor I couldn't possible take money I don't need."

"I told you not to concern yourself," McGonagall insisted as she led the way through the snow to the carriage. It was a plain looking carriage made interesting by the skeletal horse with fiery red eyes that drew it.

"It is not right, that money is for people who need it, deserve it."

"My dear if anyone deserves the money it is you." That was the last thing said as they made themselves comfortable in the carriage. The ride was silent as Hermione gazed out the window and shivered in the crisp cold weather. As they entered the village McGonagall spoke again, "We'll go to the bookstore, Honeyduke's, and any other store you'd like to enter. We will also have lunch in the Three Broomsticks."

"Severus and I meet after lunch, he'll surely wonder where I am."

"No more talk relating to _that_ subject, remember we are here to take your mind off of that. You can send a note to Mr. Snape when we return, you won't be too late unless you are extremely fond of shopping?"

Hermione shook her head, "No I don't think I am."

XXXXXXX

It was her second time-that she remembered-outside of the castle. The first had been on a Hogsmeade weekend and the place was filled with rambunctious students, now it was quiet and sleepy. Winter had covered the village with a new blanket of snow as if it were tucking the village into bed. The carriage stopped by the entrance and the two witches exited. As they headed to their first stop Hermione paused by the magnificent yet spooky creature that had brought them here. She raised a hand cautiously and the equine creature nuzzled against it sending shivers up her arm.

Hermione turned as she heard McGonagall mumble something that sounded like 'of course you can' but pretended to ignore it as she followed the woman into Honeyduke's. The trip was relatively quick as both witches bought some lemon drops for the Headmaster and Hermione bought fudge for herself and some candy for Lily and the marauders. Candy canes for Lily, James, and Sirius, chocolate for Remus, and some very cheap jelly rats for Pettigrew. She didn't want to buy anything for the last person but didn't want to stir the pot with the marauders any time soon. She would like the truce to last at least a few days into the new term. That was just about everyone on her short list of people in need of Christmas presents, only McGonagall and Severus were left. But she couldn't buy something for her teacher while she was there paying for everything. And for Severus? What on earth would he even like? She guessed a few of the extra candy canes could go to him but that did not seem like enough.

No, Severus was probably her closest friend maybe even closer than Remus but he didn't seem like the type that wanted a present. He'd find a way to make it look like charity or some way to make him owe her something. But not getting a present would make her feel like a horrible person and confirm Severus' low self-esteem. A bad present wouldn't help anything either. So she needed to find a really good, no great present for Severus Snape. Shit.

"You look like you are thinking about something very hard," Professor McGonagall commented.

"I am, what on Earth does one buy for a rude, anti-social, git of a Slytherin?"

McGonagall laughed, "I think Mr. Snape will be pleasantly surprised by anything you give him." The two went to the bookstore next where Hermione became lost in wonder. She found plenty she would love to buy when she had her own money but nothing that she could buy for Severus. She searched for what felt like forever but nothing seemed right.

"I give up!" Hermione exclaimed, throwing her hands up in frustration. "Why are some people so difficult to shop for?"

"Now, don't think about it too hard. Come let's go to lunch and after we'll see if there is anything you can think of," McGonagall suggested. Hermione nodded and followed her professor out after the elder witch purchased a couple of books that Hermione didn't catch the titles of. The walk to the popular establishment was filled with pensive thoughts on Hermione's side and slight amusement on McGonagall's. The Three Broomsticks was filled with the village's lunch crowd but there were still tables for incoming patrons to occupy. McGonagall and Hermione found one by a window and claimed it. Soon after butter beer was ordered along with a couple of servings of fish and chips. "What kind of gift are you trying to get for Mr. Snape?"

"I'm not sure," Hermione admitted, "Something good but I don't know where to start. A potions book seems too obvious, like I put no effort into it and I can't get him anything related to the Dark Arts except a book. I can't think of anything else he likes."

"Really? You can't think of anything else? Have you done anything not related to those two subjects?"

"Homework and …" Hermione suddenly had a brilliant idea but she could never spend that much money.

"You look like you had something there," McGonagall urged.

"We went flying a couple of times, his broom is old but I can't afford to buy a new one and I won't ask you to."

McGonagall thought for a moment, as the drinks came she spoke her thoughts. "I won't pay for a new broom but I could give you a loan to buy one."

Hermione's smile was huge.

XXXXXXX

Severus had received a note at lunch from a school owl that said Hermione would not be able to attend training immediately after lunch and that he should wait for her. He was irritated by it, what made her think she could slack off? Only sickness was a good excuse but he couldn't think of anything that would allow her to come a little late.

Now he was pacing the room wondering where she was. He had started by meditating and practicing occlumency but after a while he just had to get up and move.

He had been in there for an hour when Hermione finally walked in. She was panting as if she had run up and shrugged of her snow dusted robes. "Sorry, McGonagall had me come with her to Hogsmeade to run some errands."

"Why would she do that?" Severus snapped.

"She thought it would help me relax, take my mind off of everything."

Severus snorted, "I didn't think she would be one to believe in 'shopping therapy,' not that your mind needs to be anywhere else anyway. You should stay concentrated."

"I realize this," Hermione defended, "but I also realize that there should be a balance." Honestly she was late once-granted it was only the second meeting-he could lay off. She was beginning to wonder if she should have just bought a potions book.

"We've wasted enough time," the Slytherin declared as he went to stand on the platform, "hurry up."

XXXXXXX

The next few days passed in a monotonous manner, reading in the mornings, training in the afternoons and evenings. Sometimes they would go late into the night before realizing the time and had to sneak back to their dorms. Occlumency exercising continued and occasionally Hermione would be allowed to try her luck at getting past Severus' shields and failed each time. No progress was made in retrieving Hermione's memories and Hermione was somehow able to hide her gift from him. Severus caught on that there was a gift but assumed that it would be a socially demanded card and maybe a piece of candy. Not wanting to be rude Severus was able to procure some chocolates for her and a generic card.

Christmas Eve was a festive event, somewhat. They had a feast, not quite as large as the one they would have tomorrow but still substantial. Mistletoe began to pop up but only a weak one caught anyone which resulted in Dumbledore giving McGonagall a peck on the cheek.

When Severus woke the next morning he expected to find the box and card from Hermione and nothing else. The first things he saw were a card and a couple of candy canes on his nightstand but a long wrapped object by his bed caught his attention. He picked it up and after checking for any spells-using gifts to deliver practical jokes was not unheard of-he began to tear of the green and gold wrapping paper. His efforts revealed an ebony black broom. It wasn't the fastest or the newest but his far more than he could ever afford. It was beautiful and quite frankly put his current broom to shame. If she were a Slytherin he would believe that she wanted something form him but he had seen her mind and knew she was genuine.

Severus quickly grabbed the card and read:

_Merry Christmas! I hope you realize how difficult you are to shop for. Hope you enjoy it._

_~Hermione_

And all he bought her was whatever box of chocolates he could find.

XXXXXXX

Hermione looked outside one of the castle's large windows and saw a small black dot flying over the quidditch field. She had a suspicion that it was Severus enjoying his gift and she hoped she was right. She had been pleasantly surprised to find various small gifts from Lily and the marauders, a couple of books from Remus and McGonagall, and even a box of chocolates from Severus from whom she expected nothing. She like many in the castle slept through/skipped breakfast in anticipation of the large feast to come at dinner but after last night's dinner Hermione still wasn't sure that skipping even two meals would allow her to be hungry enough for tonight. She was seriously thinking about skipping lunch even as she walked down only to be distracted by the sight of the flyer that she watched now.

Suddenly the flyer made to land and Hermione resumed her trek down to the Great Hall.

Severus was indeed the spot outside. He was at a loss at what to do after receiving such a gift and decided to test it out before facing Hermione when he would have to say thanks and apologize for his pathetic gift. The candy canes would have been enough, Lily had never gotten anything more than that for him and his parents, well… gifts cost money that his father didn't have to spend on them even if he had wanted to.

The broom was fantastic and Severus was performing maneuvers that he never could on his old broom. The ride was smooth, the turns tight, and his speed tripled.

But now it was time for lunch and he would be expected to be there and have to face Hermione. He felt bad, it was an odd and unique feeling that he had never experienced before, he felt bad for not buying a satisfactory gift. He put his new broom by his old one and placed anti-theft/tampering wards before heading to the Great Hall.

It was much warmer inside than out so he shed his ratty winter robes as he headed towards the small of food. Lunch was small today and people were comparing their gifts. Everyone including the Slytherins gathered together at their tables, everyone except Hermione. She was already there, sitting by herself when Severus entered. She looked up at him and gave him a beaming smile that he didn't deserve, did she expect more? Surely not, she was too intelligent to think that he would go to great lengths for a present. Severus returned her smile with a small one of his own before sitting down to his meal. He ate quickly and left intending to go flying some more. He was half way to the exit when Hermione caught up to him.

"Severus!" He turned to see her come by his side. "Merry Christmas Severus, did you like your gift? I wasn't sure what you would want…"

"I like my gift very much," Severus said hesitantly, "thank you. I was about to go out flying again."

"Oh well then I'll leave you to it, and thank you for the chocolates."

"Wait," Severus said, stopping her before she got too far, "Come fly with me, it's the least I could especially after my rather lackluster gift."

"Nonsense, I loved it but if you insist I'll come fly with you."

The two teens went outside after Hermione accioed her winter robes and entered the broom shed. Severus undid his wards and gingerly picked up his new broom as Hermione reached for one of the guest brooms. Her hand was stopped by Severus' voice, "What are you doing?"

"We are going flying aren't we?"

"Yes but you are coming with me this time," Severus explained before exiting the shed. Outside he held out the broom for Hermione to mount before he climbed on behind her and began his ascent. Hours passed as Severus showed off causing Hermione a couple of near heart attacks. She would have been furious at him had he not been so happy, he even laughed a few times. She had never heard him laugh before, chuckle once yes and even some fake laughs but this real and genuine. While his laughter may be at her expense she savored it realizing he may not laugh again for a very long time. She did, however, slap him very hard when pulled a wronsky feint. It was short and not very steep but still slap worthy.

They only came in when they had to for the Christmas feast. There was one table for everyone to sit at and the two seventh years sat down next to each other in the last two seats. After Dumbledore's speech a vast array of food appeared and everyone ate until they risked becoming ill. Everything went off without a hitch until afterwards. Hermione and Severus left the Great Hall talking about some potion or other when Hermione froze still.

"Something wrong?" Severus asked, looking up and down the hall to see nothing and no one.

Hermione pointed upwards and Severus' eyes followed the finger up. "I thought those things were restricted to the Great Hall." Hermione said as she glared at the offending piece of mistletoe.

The two looked down from the enchanted piece of decoration and looked at each other. A fierce blush overcame Hermione's face and Severus fought to keep one from appearing on his own. Before he could say anything Hermione got onto her tiptoes and gave Severus a quick kiss. The mistletoe disappeared and both teens said their goodnights and left for their dorms.

XXXXXXX

The kiss was never spoken of and the two returned to their routine of reading and training. It was three days after Christmas when the two were going at it on the dueling platform. They were becoming more aggressive in their duels, at this point every spell was either dodged or blocked. The duel was going very well and Severus was pleased with her progress until the inevitable happened. They had both been injured before during their duels, it was only expected hence the medical corner in the room but this time was different. This time Hermione was hit hard in the ribs by a piece of debris from a blasting hex. It knocked the wind out of her and threw her down to the ground where she hit her head. When Severus rushed to her side to check her injuries she was unconscious. She was still unconscious as Severus carried her to the infirmary.

**Remember I like lots of reviews and favs and follows.**


	27. Pain and Pleasure

**College, a great time if you ignore the classes otherwise it is pure stress. Oh and if you ever see a continuity issue please let me know, when writing a story this long over a period of time you tend to forget little details and have to go back and read certain bits of your own story, or I do anyway. In the chapter where Severus read her mind I had to rewrite a good chunk of it because I forgot that I had made Hermione remember pretty much everything about him in the future. As far as I can tell I catch myself before publishing but if I miss something let me know.**

"Damn it Hermione, you need to be ready to throw a shield up at any second," Severus berated as he went to the fallen girl. His pace quickened when she did not respond as she usually would. No come back, no excuse, not even a grunt of pain, just silence. She had gone down clutching her side where the debris collided with her ribs but he ignored the injury temporarily as he saw a bit of blood where her head struck the floor.

"Damn it," Severus cursed as he quickly checked her side which was bruising and he was fairly sure her ribs were cracked if not broken. The med bay they had in the room was not sufficient for this level of injury so Severus quickly yet gingerly scooped Hermione into his arms. He cast a disillusionment charm about them before heading off to the infirmary as quickly as he could. Thankfully the castle was nearly empty so there were no problems navigating the usually crowded hallways or the constantly moving stairs that were already set in the most efficient way to get Severus to his destination.

Poppy Pomfrey was having a slow day of practically nonexistent work when her infirmary doors flew open. Severus removed his charm and placed Hermione on the nearest cot. "She's been hit in the ribs and hit her head when she fell," Severus explained to the bustling nurse.

"I told you two to be careful, what spell did you use?"

"A blasting hex, on the ground," he clarified in response to the nurse's horrified look, "some debris hit her not the spell."

"Still too dangerous, how long has she been out?"

"Since her head hit the ground so maybe a few minutes or so, I'm not sure. I ran down as fast as I could."

"I know you did Mr. Snape, out of everyone I think I trust you the most with Miss Jean's safety," the nurse said off handedly as she cast a diagnostic spell on Hermione's head.

The teen was shocked, trust was something he wasn't used to and so far his only experience with it came from the unconscious girl. "What?"

Madam Pomfrey smiled. "You have been in my infirmary far too often since you were eleven, I believe that gives me some authority to judge your character," she said as she mended the damage to Hermione's ribs. "You are a good kid, Severus, despite what so many seem to believe, yourself included. Yes you are rough around the edges, no doubt about that, but you are good. Besides I'm willing to bet a good amount of money that you have a soft spot for our little time traveler."

"I… I need to take care of her for this stupid mission…"

"Mmhmm, you would not even consider that 'stupid mission' if you did not care about her. Do not try to fool me Mr. Snape, as I said I know you too well. She likes you too you know."

Severus scoffed, "Yeah right, besides that's not really important now is it?"

"I guess not at the moment no, but I am right." Madam Pomfrey continued to work on the girl who was regaining consciousness as Severus sat off to the side. The rumors were bad enough but now Madam Pomfrey, the woman who was almost like a mother to him was pointing out his little crush and teasing his hopes that Hermione could ever return them. If she did would she have run off like she did after the kiss under the mistletoe? It was quick chaste kiss that ended with stammered good nights. Granted he did wonder why she chose to kiss his lips as opposed to his check, the mistletoe in Hogwarts never demanded any more than that and Hermione was certainly aware of that fact. His hopes insisted that meant something but his brain reminded him of how it must have humiliated her to have to kiss her nasty potions professor. Of all the memories she could have retrieved why did it have to be the ones that effectively put him in the friend zone? He was lucky that she allowed that much, anyone else would have run from him in a similar situation.

A thought suddenly came to him, in movies amnesia victims always retrieved their memories after a nasty blow to the head. Did that theory carry on weight? Like most things from Hollywood probably not but maybe…

"Madam Pomfrey, is there any merit in the theory that head injuries can bring back memories?"

"She's have to be lucky and that's if her memory loss was due to physical trauma in the first place. If it was somehow caused by magic then it wouldn't have any effect."

"So whether or not she regains any memories may give us some clues?"

"Maybe but is anything that simple?"

"No," Severus sighed, "definitely not when she's involved."

Their attention was grabbed by a grunt coming from Hermione. "Ugh what happened?"

"One of the many reasons I don't approve of your dueling," Madam Pomfrey said in a strict voice. "You're brain got a bit rattled but your ribs are what I'm worried about, one broken and two cracked. I have a potion that will let you sleep without any risks that normally come with a concussion." The nurse then left the two teens to retrieve said potion.

Hermione turned to Severus. "I guess I'm not as good at blocking as I thought," she tried to joke.

The Slytheirn went along with it, "You'll have to work on it." Severus walked closer to her cot and kneeled down. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired and then there are the pains that can be assumed at this point, not that bad though. I've had worse."

"That doesn't make it any better," Severus said with a frown.

"I know." Hermione reached out her hand and placed it on his shoulder. "Thanks for taking care of me."

Madam Pomfrey came back in then and gave Hermione a rusty colored potion. It tasted metallic and had the same consistence as that 'goop' substance that Hermione remembers from muggle toy aisles. That cheap slime stuff that made anyone that wasn't a little boy squirm and left nasty oil stains on whatever it got stuck to. It was a little too thick to swallow easily but she eventually managed.

"It'll take a bit to kick in. Now I assume you haven't told the Headmaster about this yet? I thought not, Mr. Snape could you please stay here and watch her while I inform the Headmaster?" Severus nodded and the nurse went on her way. Severus pulled his chair up by the cot and watched as Hermione's eyelids became too heavy to keep open.

Soon she was fast asleep and Severus believed it would be a peaceful sleep.

XXXXXXX

At first Hermione just felt that all-consuming heavy darkness that comes with a deep sleep but then her mind went into overdrive. She felt alone, ostracized and outcast. She felt like this would always be the case no matter what she did. Then a rather vivid vision came to her of a troll in the bathroom and two boys, a red head and one with messy black hair and glasses came in. What happened next she did not know because it faded out as the troll lifted its club. Then more visions of peril came. Being petrified by a basilisk, the werewolf incident she already remembered with Severus but this time those boys were with her, dementors, a dead student being drug out of a maze by the black haired boy, a toad like woman who tortured her. Then the peril became far more serious as she remembered receiving each of her scars and every encounter with these people that hated her so. She couldn't identify her attackers but if she saw them she would recognize them.

She remembered and saw all the deaths. She didn't remember these people or how she knew them but she remembered the pain and grief.

Meanwhile Severus noticed her whimpering and watched her begin to thrash in her sleep. He shot up and grabbed her shoulders and tried to wake her. "Come on Hermione wake up. Calm down its just a dream. Damn potion." Hermione began to mumble, most of the words were unintelligible but he could make out 'no', 'stop', and 'help.' He began to shake her a bit harder and spoke a bit louder until it was almost a yell. Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Pomfrey walked in on this scene.

"Mr. Snape what is going on?" the Gryffindor head demanded.

"Isn't it obvious?" Severus snapped. "She's having a nightmare and I can't wake her." Madam Pomfrey practically ran to her office and came back with some pepper red potion.

"I should have given this to you just in case when I left," the nurse said as she opened the potion under Hermione's nose. The odor was pungent and one whiff of it caused Hermione's eyes to fly open and her body shot up.

Hermione let out a gasp of pain as her sudden movement caused her a good amount of pain in her side. She was crowded by everyone present waiting for her to reveal what happened. Hermione however ignored them and latched onto Severus who was now sitting on her bed.

She buried her face against him where his neck met his shoulder and held his torso in an ironclad grip and sobbed, completely unaware of his discomfort or the looks they were receiving form the adults. They backed off and gave the girl a few moments to collect herself. The sobs subsided but she did not release Severus. He was safety, a lifeline; someone she knew would protect her as best he could. He was strength that she could borrow to ease the pain.

Severus sat there still as could be. He wasn't sure what to do with his arms but eventually decided to put one hand on her back. The other itched to stroke her hair but he chose to place it neutrally by his side instead.

The Headmaster approached the bed once she appeared to have calmed a bit. "Miss Jean…"

"Granger."

"What was that?"

Hermione's voice was small when she repeated herself, "Granger. My name is Hermione Jean Granger."

"Miss Granger," Dumbledore said with a smile and a new twinkle in his eyes, "were you remembering?" Hermione nodded against Severus. "What did you remember?"

"Things I wish I didn't."

"What w…"

"Don't ask," she said in a louder voice, "none of it would be of any use to you."

"Albus I think you should leave, you are not helping. You too Minerva, I'll tell you when you can come back."

"Now Poppy, I have a right to be here. I'm her head of house and practically her guardian."

"She is at least eighteen and under my care," Madam Pomfrey retorted, "now out." Still protesting McGonagall followed the Headmaster out of the infirmary and the nurse turned to the two teens. "Miss Granger, is there anything I can get for you?" Hermione shook her head. "Well I'm not sure what else I can do. With your head injury I can't give you dreamless sleep and the concussion sleep potion would only cause a repeat," the nurse saw Hermione shiver at the thought, "Severus I'll have to ask for your services again. Please stay with her and come get me if I'm needed or if you leave at some point tonight."

Madam Pomfrey didn't see it but Severus felt Hermione tighten her grip when the nurse mentioned him leaving. "I'll take care of her."

"Thank you." The nurse left for her rooms through her office and dimmed the lights for the two teens.

Severus reevaluated his current position with Hermione. She was in a half sitting half laying position that looked a little uncomfortable. So he turned his body so his legs were facing the foot of the bed instead of the head and scooted back so he was leaning against the metallic back board. Hermione's arms were still wrapped around him but now head was lying against his chest, right over his heart specifically. His left arm was now around her and he, out of curiosity and weariness, allowed his right hand to indulge in its earlier desire to stroke her honey brown curls.

His light ministrations seemed to soothe her just a little. They sat there for an unknown amount of time before Hermione spoke.

"I remembered… a lot of things. All of the bad things, or I hope that was all. All of the pain, the death. I've seen people die. I mean I knew I did because I can see thestrals but I didn't remember it."

"You don't have to tell me or anyone else if you don't want to," Severus told her.

"I know but… Oh Severus it was horrible," she began to cry again. "All of it was terrible and I'm going to have to live through it again."

"No you don't Hermione," he said fiercely. "There is still time to back out; you don't have to do anything."

"I do have to live through it and my help may lessen the death toll. If I do nothing then it will all happen just as it did before."

"Not necessarily, the future has already been changed by your presence."

"Severus I'm not going to quit," she said firmly.

"You are so stubborn."

"Pot meet kettle."

Eventually Hermione drifted off to sleep on Severus' chest and he followed her to the state of sleep, arms still around each other and his hand in her hair.

XXXXXXX

They woke up the next morning with stiff muscles. Madam Pomfrey gave them a good scolding about how Hermione's ribs were in no condition to let her sleep in such a position. She declared that the girl had to stay in the infirmary for at least a week or so to fully recover and allowed Severus to come and give her occlumency lessons as long as they were theoretical.

The headmaster and Professor McGonagall came back in the morning. Hermione refused to say anything about her memories and but she did say she wanted to continue to go by Jean.

"Once the pureblood hear my real name they'll know I'm a muggleborn. It'll just be worse besides I don't want to call attention to myself with a name change."

"A reasonable decision and it saves me some paperwork," the Headmaster joked.

Professor McGonagall and the nurse hung around like hawks keeping their eyes on her whenever possible. The Gryffindor head also lectured Severus about being more careful during their dueling sessions.

It was three days after the accident and everyone was in the Great Hall for New Year's Eve. Everyone except Severus and Hermione. Both were seated comfortably on Hermione's cot as they played chess waiting for the countdown.

"The view of the fireworks is best at the astronomy tower," Severus remarked as her took Hermione's knight.

"I don't want to imagine the fit Madam Pomfrey would throw if we go there."

"Neither do I." A comfortable silence fell before Severus spoke again. "After midnight we are fair game, that was the deadline Lucius gave me. The offer can come at any time now."

"I know."

"We can still come up with something else…"

"We already went over this. I'm not backing out you can if you want." Truth be told if he backed she would have to too but she wasn't letting him know that.

"This won't be easy in any sense of the word."

"I never thought it would be. But let's forget about it, until midnight. For now let's just act like everyone else and countdown the new year."

"We have about two minutes left."

"Do you have a New Year's resolution?"

"Not dying seems like a good one."

Hermione laughed without humor, "agreed."

"What about you?"

"Aside from the obvious, no."

"Forty seconds. You know we probably won't be able to see any of the fireworks at all from here."

"Pity, we'll have to find something else to do at midnight."

Severus looked up from the chess board and at the girl in front of him. "What did you have in mind?" She blushed a little but maintained eye contact. Then they heard the crowd in the great hall counting down. Five, four, three, two, one…

Hermione leaned forward over the chess and was met in the middle by Severus with a kiss. Their second kiss, completely different from the first. This one was not quick and chaste. And this one would not end in awkward good nights and fleeing even if Hermione could.

As they parted for breath Severus pushed the chess set out of the way and moved so that he could hold Hermione as he kissed her again and properly tangle his fingers in her hair.

**So was that kiss any better? I think so.**

**If anyone is interested I wrote a little one shot about Severus and Madam Pomfrey, please check it out.**

**Most importantly, REVIEW!**


	28. And So It Begins

**At this point I will brag/give a hint as to which college I am attending:**

**WE BEAT THE HELL OUT OF BAMA! THAT'S RIGHT SEC, WE DIDN'T COME TO PLAY WE CAME TO WIN!**

**Bragging/hint giving is now done.**

**Note: I started writing this chapter long before it got finished/published so my bragging may be old news by now.**

After three, maybe four more rather intense kisses Severus pulled back breathing heavily and rested his forehead against hers. Neither could have prevented the grins that appeared even if they wanted to.

"Well it's about time and I _still_ had to prompt it," Hermione teased.

"Why was it my job to go first? You are capable of making the first move," Severus countered.

"But it is the guy's job."

"This isn't the nineteenth century besides I didn't even know if you'd want me to make a move."

Hermione's hands, which were resting on his back, began moving up and down in a soothing manner. "Really? What exactly was stopping you from seeing the obvious?"

'_Obvious? Not really.'_ Severus smiled at the thought that she had wanted to kiss him for at least a little while then closed his eyes in pleasure as she continued rubbing his back. "Your memories… of me," he admitted sheepishly, "I thought you still saw me as your professor. Your old, ugly, scary git of a professor at that."

"Why would I do that? That wasn't you, I mean it was but you're two completely different people at this point in time. Does that make sense?"

"I don't think anything concerning time travel makes complete sense."

"True, now stop worrying about that and start kissing me again," she commanded as she locked her arms around his neck and pulled him down so he really didn't have a choice, not that he was complaining. Severus tentatively swiped his tongue along her bottom lip asking for permission which she granted. The two were lost in their own little world until Hermione made a small noise that was not from pleasure.

Severus pulled back and saw her arm twitch towards her side as if to hold it. "Damn, I'm so stupid, you're still hurt."

"No I'm not; I'm practically good as new."

"But not quite," Severus said as he moved away from her despite her protests. Then he grabbed her by her waist and pulled her onto his lap and pressed his lips into the crook of her neck. "Is this any better?"

"Mmmm, yeah actually," she answered as she pulled her curls away from that side of her neck.

The two sat there for an indeterminate amount of time as he pressed soft kisses up and down her neck and cheek and she traced imaginary patterns with her thumb onto the back of his hand. "When do you think Madame Pomfrey will come back?" she asked.

Severus nuzzled his nose into her and answered, "Too soon."

XXXXXXX

Indeed the medi-witch came into the room much too soon for the two teens and shooed Severus away as she scolded the two of them after finding them in an intimate embrace. Neither saw it but behind the stern exterior the nurse's heart swelled with happiness, finally something good for the boy she watched grow in pain and the poor lost girl. How she hoped that the return of the other students would not do anything to snuff out the one light in these teens' dark lives.

Hermione went to sleep with a smile on her face, hoping that the next day would bring news of her release from the infirmary. Severus too was smiling as he walked back to the dungeons, occasionally having to fight off the odd wonder whether or not he did everything right. It's not like he had any experience in this area.

As the young wizard lay down in bed and closed his eyes he began to dream of a peaceful, stress free life with Hermione.

When he woke the next morning it was to the sound of tapping, an owl tapping to be precise. Never a morning person, Severus threw his pillow against the door (the window is under the lake remember) in a futile attempt to stop the noise. Of course, all this did was loose Severus a valuable tool that could have been used to muffle the noise. Finally Severus surrendered to the owl's will and sluggishly made his way to the door. As he opened the portal, the regal and irritated owl noisily flapped his wings in Severus' face and went to land on the unmade bed.

There was no question that this was the owl of Lucius Malfoy, Severus was too familiar with the creature to hope otherwise. He knew he had until the New Year but had hoped that there would be a delay. How foolish of him to think he would receive any such mercy.

Severus glared at the owl with as much hatred as he could muster in the morning as if the bird was the cause of his situation. He could have sworn the owl raise a mocking brow. Irritably, Severus took the letter from the feathered fiend's leg. He opened the crisp piece of parchment that read thusly:

_Dear Severus,_

_How was your New Year's Eve? Did you perhaps get a hold of that pretty little witch for midnight? My night was spent reveling with our brethren and it was delightful but let me get to the point of this letter._

_It is time that you and the aforementioned witch gave your answers though I am certain that I already know them. Both of you will meet me in Hogsmeade, at the Hog's Head as usual at noon today. We'll floo to my manor where we can discuss your futures. Narcissa will have the elves make some lunch so don't bother with that._

_~Lucius_

The letter was straight forward enough to not warrant a second read. Severus made to get dressed and talk to Dumbledore when the owl began pecking his hand demanding payment. The sulky Slytherin fished a treat out of his drawer only to find that the owl was not satisfied, he wanted an answer to the letter.

Severus pulled out a piece of parchment, ink, and quill and wrote:

_Lucius,_

_My night was fine if you must know but you know how I detest gossip particularly in regards to myself so your second question will go unanswered._

_I will be at Hog's Head at the appointed time but her presence is uncertain. She sustained an injury during a duel-at which she is quite skilled as you hoped-and is currently under Pomfrey's care. I am sure she could physically make the trip but you are undoubtedly aware of how Pomfrey runs her infirmary._

_~Severus_

_PS Must your owl be so high and mighty in the mornings?_

Severus stopped to think about he was going to betray his one true friend's trust but he left Severus no choice, he then tied the letter onto the owl's leg and sent the creature away. He quickly showered and dressed while at the same time trying to make his appearance more… _pleasing_ than usual knowing he would be seeing Hermione. At the thought of her Severus had to keep his grin off his face. He would have to work on that, no need to broadcast the events of last night across his face for all to see.

Satisfied that he looked decent enough he set off first for the Headmaster's office. As Severus approached the gargoyle it began to spiral upwards and two sets of steps could be heard coming down the spiral staircase. None other than Dumbledore and McGonagall emerged from the alcove.

"Ah Mr Snape, I take it you have some news for me?" Dumbledore asked as his twinkling eyes fell on the young wizard.

"Yes, Hermione and I have been summoned by Lucius. We are to meet him in Hogsmeade then go to his manor."

"But Miss Jean is injured," the Gryffindor head of house insisted.

"We will have to consult Madame Pomfrey about it, shall we?" the headmaster gestured with his arm towards the hall that lead to the infirmary. The trio made their way to their destination and found Madame Pomfrey serving Hermione a warm breakfast.

Hermione looked up as the door creaked open and her eyes landed on Severus. Her wild curls were mussed from last night still and her smile killed any lingering doubts as to whether she enjoyed it.

Hermione had been observing Severus as well and began to blush when she realized he had company that most likely caught her staring. "I am guessing you are not here to join me for breakfast?" she jested.

"No my dear," Dumbledore said as he walked over to stand by Hermione's bedside, "no Mr. Snape has informed that you two have a meeting today with the young Mr. Malfoy."

"You cannot have a meeting here," Madame Pomfrey cried.

"Of course not Poppy, they will be leaving for Hogsmeade. I am sure that Miss Jean is well enough to leave the infirmary. Unless she has any complaints."

"No sir, I am feeling perfectly well. Where in Hogsmeade are we going?"

Severus stepped forward, "We'll be meeting at Hog's Head at noon then go to the Malfoy Manor. We'll have lunch with Lucius, Narcissa, and while he didn't mention it I would not be surprised if Lucius' father was there as well."

"What will we be discussing?" Hermione asked, the blush gone and her voice all business.

"Our futures, he said. I will also try and postpone any Death Eater meetings including ourselves until after graduation but that may be too much ask for. I wouldn't be surprised that no matter what Lucius said, the Dark Lord would call on us-most likely myself-before then."

"And we must postpone your branding, as long as possible," Hermione insisted.

"If you two must leave," Madame Pomfrey interrupted, "at least take a carriage instead of walking, your side is not up to that yet. And dress warmly, it is freezing out there."

Professor McGonagall nodded in agreement, "Speaking of dressing, we'll have to find some of your best clothes for a lunch with the Malfoys. Hermione your main job will be to get in good with the wives and the first step is to impress Narcissa Malfoy with your sense of fashion."

"But I have none."

"I have very little myself, which will make this rather interesting."

XXXXXXX

The carriage, horseless to Severus but drawn by a thestral to Hermione, pulled up to the snowy front steps of the castle. Severus wore a charcoal gray button up dress shirt, black slacks, and his robes. Hermione had found a simple violet-indigo colored dress with a thick black belt. She also wore tights, black heeled boots, and her black robes. Her wildly curly hair was thrown up in an elegant bun with a few strands carefully placed to fall around her tastefully done up face.

When they entered the carriage in front of Dumbledore they sat in catty corner corners but as the carriage took off Hermione got up and placed herself by Severus who was only too happy to put his arm around her shoulder. "You know, I think you may have over done it Hermione," Severus commented.

"Over done what? This dress isn't too formal is it?" Hermione worried.

"No, but you are certainly far more beautiful than Narcissa she may get jealous."

The witch blushed and bowed her head, "I doubt it, I've heard that she is extremely beautiful, she could never be jealous of little ole me. No, you must be complimenting in hopes of a kiss."

Severus cracked a small smile, "I was not, I merely told the truth, but if I were to earn a kiss by telling the truth I won't complain."

Hermione looked up at her boyfriend-Severus? Her boyfriend? How odd it sounded in her head-and gave him a peck on the cheek. "There you go, I hope that will tide you over for today," she teased.

"It certainly will not," Severus protested in false indignation. He then preceded to gather her up in his arms and captured her painted pink lips with his own. He decided he did not like the taste of lipstick marring her own sweet natural taste but felt that conversation was best had later. The two only parted when air became a necessity.

Severus was eager to continue their activities when he heard Hermione laughing. "And what is so funny?"

Instead of answering, Hermione summoned a small hand mirror from her purse and showed Severus. His lips were smeared with pink and there was even the shape of her lips on his cheek. "Well that does it," he huffed as he rubbed the offending mark from his cheek, "no more lipstick."

Hermione giggled once more, "It isn't that bad and is easily removed." She demonstrated this by vanishing the marks leaving his face as it was before. She took the mirror from his hand and replaced it in her purse before wrapping her arms around his neck. "Now where were we?"

Severus pulled her close but avoided her lips and instead latched his lips onto her neck. Hermione played with his hair, which had once more been tied back, as she enjoyed the sensations caused by him. But as he began to nibble she protested. "A hickey is not a s easy to hide as lipstick is to remove."

"And why should you have to hide it?"

"Have you forgotten where we are going?"

"Admittedly yes, perhaps we should refrain from wrinkling our clothes any further until after lunch." The two straightened themselves and their clothes out but Severus stubbornly kept his arm around her as they reviewed how she should act in front of them and how to answer certain questions.

"How worried should I be about the elder Malfoy?" Hermione asked.

"He probably won't eat with us but if we see him he is sure to be more shrewd and ruthless than his son. He was the one to originally join to Dark Lord, Lucius is just following in his footsteps." Severus rubbed Hermione's arm much like she rubbed his back the night before in hopes of soothing her worries. "Stay on your guard and all should go fine." Just as he said this the carriage pulled up in front of the bar. "It's show time."

"A rather muggle saying," Hermione pointed out.

"I had a rather muggle life remember?" Severus stepped out of the carriage then awkwardly held out his hand to help Hermione down. When she had both feet planted on the ground, Severus turned to see Lucius looking out the window with a smirk on his face. Severus lead Hermione into the nasty little establishment and walked up to Lucius who looked as impeccable as ever but left out the velvet black bow. Severus was tempted to make a comment about that rather feminine accessory as he always was but as always held his tongue. "Lucius, I'm surprised to see that you are here already, you must have been early."

"On the contrary you were rather late but I understand assuming the answer to my second question was yes?" Severus said nothing in response confirming Lucius' suspicions. The older wizard was quite happy about that, such an attachment would keep Jean with them and of course he was happy for his friend. Many would call him an unfeeling friend which was for the most part true but this was the man Lucius was ready to name godfather to his heir. "It is nice to see you again Hermione. I do hope I will be allowed the honor of calling you that now?"

Hermione wanted to refuse Lucius this privilege but instead smiled, "Of course you may, you are a friend of Severus."

"Well shall we go? Cissy is preparing a grand lunch for us."

**Finals week is upon me and these are my last peaceful moments. Send me reviews, fav, and follow to help me keep my sanity as I endure this great horror**


	29. The Manor

**So sorry for the delay, I have been really busy and will continue to be busy for the foreseeable future. I hate to say this but now updates will come when they come, no promises. Of course this happens when the story is getting interesting.**

Hermione stepped into the green flames and out into a massive foyer. Hermione walked further into the room to make room for the boys as they came in after her and she swiveled her head so that her eyes could capture every detail. It was not as extravagant or glitzy as some may have expected but it was no less grand than what a family like the Malfoy's could have. They came from very old money and the atmosphere of the room let you know it. There was something else about the manor though… something familiar and foreboding…

Narcissa Malfoy was standing in the middle of the foyer and she lived up to her reputation. She was a sight to behold and made Hermione think of an ice queen. Pastel blonde hair, crystal blue eyes, and pale skin made up cold perfection. Her lips curved into the appropriate smile for a hostess as she saw Hermione making her guest wonder if she was truly welcomed here by the lady of the house.

"You must be Hermione Jean; it is so good to finally meet you. I have heard so much about you. Welcome to Malfoy Manor," Narcissa greeted.

Hermione returned the smile and wondered whether or not she was meant to shake her hand. Narcissa answered this question with a quick, unexpected embrace and air kisses over her cheeks that Hermione mimicked.

"Thank you for allowing me into your beautiful home. I'm surprised you've heard much about me, I only met your husband once."

"Ah but Severus speaks of you," Narcissa noted the light blush that painted Hermione's cheeks, "though most of the time Lucius has to force him to speak of anything but potions, he's a prodigy you know. And even before then news of your mysterious arrival was all over. Now don't look so nervous, I will not ask any questions about that. You must be sick of such inquiries."

"Thank you ma'am."

"None of that, you must call me Narcissa and I hope you will I allow me to return the favor," the tall blonde insisted sweetly.

"Of course, Narcissa." By now the boys had come in but were wrapped up in their own conversation which, by the looks of it, consisted of teasing Severus.

XXXXXXX

Lucius chanted some special words that altered his manor's wards to allow in his guests for the day. The boys watched Hermione step through first with a helping hand from Severus to step up into the fireplace.

"Careful Severus, she may begin to believe you are a gentleman," Lucius teased.

"Aren't Slytherins supposed to uphold the old standards?" Severus countered.

Lucius laughed, "Worst response you could have come up with my friend. So you still haven't told me how your night was yet."

"And I'm not going to," Severus insisted firmly before he stepped into the green flames himself. His relief from Lucius was brief though as he came through right behind the younger wizard. As they entered they heard the witches becoming acquainted and Lucius noticed the blush that was fading from Hermione's cheeks. This led to an elbow in Severus' ribs and another knowing smirk. Severus grumbled under his breath and ignored his friend.

"Oh come now Severus, stop acting like a little fourth year," Lucius whispered. "She's pretty enough so you have no reason to be embarrassed. Besides you know Narcissa will get it out of her anyway."

Severus did not get to respond as Narcissa and Hermione had finally noticed their presence. They walked over and Lucius placed a light kiss upon his wife's cheek before she turned her attention to Severus. "Severus, it is so good to see you. It has been far too long; you should have come to visit at least for Christmas."

"I am sorry that I did not, Narcissa, but it is very hard to leave Hogwarts without Dumbledore finding out."

"Yes, well once you have graduated you will no longer have an excuse," Narcissa declared. She then called for a house elf to take their robes and update her on the state of lunch.

"It'll be ready in five minutes mistress," the little elf said pathetically.

"Good, I guess then we must be on our way to the dining room. The smaller one of course, no need for such formality with our group." Narcissa lead the way through the manor's many corridors towards the room.

The rest of the mansion so far resembled the foyer, subtly elegant and cold. The temperature was warm enough but there was nothing homey about this place. The halls were quiet, the ancestor's portraits sneered, and everything was perfectly in place. It felt as if no one really lived here.

"Lucius how long has your family lived here?" Hermione politely inquired.

"Since before the Statue of Secrecy was put in place and magic was out in the open. The exact date escapes me as to when we first acquired the land. One of my ancestors updated the manor a few centuries ago and very little has changed since. The Malfoys are a very ancient and powerful line," Lucius proclaimed proudly.

Narcissa added on, "I did redecorate a few rooms after we were married including the dining room right here." She stopped in front of two elegantly carved wooden doors that swung open to reveal a small dining room that more resembled a breakfast parlor in size and formality. The sun shone through the large French windows that revealed the glittering snow just outside. The rays of light brightened the first room Hermione had seen yet with any sense of comfort. The walls were painted cream and there were light wood floors and furniture with light green accents. The table was set with four wooden chairs with comfy looking green cushions, green placemats, and shining silverware.

Lucius pulled out a chair for Narcissa and went to stand behind the chair at the head of the table directly across from his wife. Severus also pulled out Hermione's chair before going to his own and then both men sat.

As soon as they did food magically appeared in front of them, fresh from the kitchen. First course was soup and salad followed by beef wellington cooked to perfection. Water and wine appeared in their glasses and Lucius gave the signal to begin eating.

"This is excellent Narcissa."

"Thank you Hermione. Our elves are trained to be even better cooks than those at Hogwarts," the hostess boasted as she took a sip of her wine. "Now my dear, you must tell me where you got that dress, it is lovely in a simple sort of way."

"Thank you, I bought them from the boutique in Hogsmeade after I first arrived. I'm afraid it is nothing though compared to yours."

Narcissa preened at the praise, "Yes well you have been limited in choice. I will just have to take you to where I shop someday soon." Step one: impress Narcissa, check.

"I would be very grateful, I'm afraid my wardrobe is rather limited at this point due to my… situation."

Severus was rather impressed that Hermione appeared to have befriended the older witch but then Narcissa knew what was happening today and was probably just trying to see what she could find out about the new girl.

Severus' thoughts turned from Narcissa's motives to her husband's as he asked Hermione if she had found any clues as to her past.

"No I'm afraid not, my memory is as blank as before. Madame Pomfrey has already tried everything she could think of and it seems I will just have to remember naturally if I ever remember it at all."

"Now Lucius, I told her earlier that I would not bother her with such questions, I would like for you to do the same," Narcissa scolded before giving Hermione another small polite smile.

Hermione accepted the smile but cautiously, if Narcissa was anything like other Slytherin females than she should be an ice queen subtly insulting. And while there were a couple hints as to her lack of wealth there was nothing too bad, she was acting much nicer than Hermione thought she would. This was at the forefront of her mind but in the back there was a little tickling feeling, her intuition saying that Narcissa should definitely not been acting this nice to her. But then she was openly the enemy in the future, Narcissa didn't know now. Hermione was having a hard time ignoring her intuition while also trying to heed its advice. That foreboding feeling from earlier was still there and it was causing Hermione to become anxious though she tried not to let it show.

Lunch was coming to an end and the remaining conversation had been light. But both guests knew that the subject would change soon and were preparing themselves. As the food disappeared they were joined by an older wizard. His hair was more silvery and his face had a few wrinkles but there was no doubt that this man was Lucius' father, Abraxas Malfoy, head of the Malfoy family and one of the original Deatheaters.

Lucius and Severus stood quickly to greet the man. "Father, I did not realize you would be home so soon."

"That would be because what I do is none of your business," the senior Malfoy said coldly. He turned to look at Severus and raised a brow at the skinny. "So this is the half-blood that you will be presenting to the Dark Lord?"

'_What a pleasant man,' _Hermione thought, _'rather straight to the point with that.'_

"Yes Father, and this is Hermione Jean."

"The mystery girl?" Abraxas asked as he looked her over. "The Dark Lord will enjoy meeting you my dear. But now on to more pressing matters, Narcissa would you take Miss Jean on a tour of the manor while we talk?" The question came out more like the order that it was.

"Of course, sir. Come along Hermione, let us leave the men to their business." Narcissa waited for Hermione as she told Abraxas that it was 'a pleasure to meet him' and he vaguely acknowledged her comment with a nod. The two witches then left the room side by side.

"Father-"

"I would prefer," Abraxas interrupted, "if we spoke in my study."

XXXXXXX

The wizards walked into Abraxas' study where he sat behind his desk in his large leather chair as if he were a king and did not wait for his son or guest to sit before he began asking questions.

"Why should a half-blood like yourself be allowed in our ranks?"

Severus expected this question and answered promptly, "I have talents that could be of use to the Dark Lord. I am more than happy to serve him and his cause. I have seen the evils that come from muggles and magic mingling and wish to stop it." Severus hated to say these things but he had to. He didn't really hate muggles or muggleborns. He hated his father but that was different.

"I have heard that your father snapped your mother's wand," the older wizard stated.

"I would not be surprised, he is a drunken fool and my mother has lost any spirit she once had. It was horrid living in that muggle house but at least I knew from the beginning the cruelty of muggles. Mudbloods," he spat the word out of a different kind of disgust than what his companions interpreted, "defend them but I know they are not worthy of it."

"And your opinion on mudbloods themselves?"

Severus felt disgusted about himself and what he had to say, "They are unnatural. Something as beautiful as magic should not come from scum."

Abraxas smirked, "How right you are. So is Miss Jean a mudblood?"

"I do not believe so," Severus answered, "She is far too talented and powerful though I doubt that she is a pureblood."

"A shame but if she is truly as great as I have heard than I believe she will one day make a great asset. The Dark Lord wishes to meet her but he will not brand her, yet. You on the other hand will not have to wait for the honor."

"Sir, I cannot wait to be of service but I do not know how much use I will be until I graduate."

"Yes, yes, we do usually wait until after graduation otherwise my son would have been branded by the time you met him. The Dark Lord though will be the one to decide when you will join, whether it is convenient for you or not," Abraxas stated seriously.

"I understand sir."

Lucius spoke for the first time since entering the study. "I realize Hermione is reluctant to reveal her memories to me but has she said anything useful to you."

"From what I know she only remembers spells and has retained some fighting instinct," Severus insisted, "I know as much as you. She thinks that she is eighteen and from London but that is it."

"If she is from London than she should have already been attending Hogwarts," Lucius remarked.

"She must have been homeschooled."

"Which would prove that she is at least half-blood," Abraxas commented. "Has anyone tried to enter her mind?" he asked.

Severus was a little surprised that Abraxas asked this, he didn't think he would have to confront it until they met the Dark Lord. He decided to go with his instinct and answered, "Yes I have attempted but I have only begun to learn Legilimency and only saw her memories after she arrived at Hogwarts."

"Hmm, no matter the Dark Lord will be able to see into her mind without a doubt."

Just then a house elf popped into the room. "Mini is sorry Masters but Master Snape is wanted in the drawing room."

"And why is that?" Abraxas demanded.

"For Mistress Jean, she is pain."

XXXXXXX

Narcissa led Hermione down the corridor and gave her a little tour of the manor. First she showed her guest where some of the gardens were kept under heating charms throughout the winter.

"The gardens are my favorite place to be but I detest walking out in the snow to get to them. You will have to return in the spring to see them."

"I would enjoy that very much Narcissa."

The blonde witch took Hermione's hand and placed it on her forearm as if they were close confidents. "Tell me, how did you meet Severus?" she innocently inquired.

"In class," Hermione answered. She had to work to keep her voice steady, the anxiousness was beginning to become serious. "I didn't have a potions book so I had to share with him."

Narcissa chuckled, "I can't imagine Severus sharing, but then he is rather fond of you."

Hermione blushed, "He was not at all fond of me then, he only shared because Slughorn made him."

"That sounds a bit more like him," Narcissa noted. "He has always been such an introvert, it is hard work to be his friend as I am sure you know." She paused and appeared to be thinking for a moment, "I don't believe you two are friends though are you? Now don't be embarrassed, I am aware of your blushes. I am happy Severus has found someone. Tell me everything," Narcissa demanded, eager for gossip.

"Well I…" Hermione trailed off and began to tremble as she look at the room had just entered.

"Hermione what is wrong?" Narcissa asked.

She did not answer though as her mind slingshot her into her past. Her eyes were fixed to the spot on the floor that would one day be stained with _her_ blood. Closing her eyes did nothing to stop the flood of her memories. She felt each letter being carved into her arm by a mad woman as an older Narcissa, Lucius, and a boy, possibly their son, stood there and watched. The boy was the only one to show any uneasiness as Hermione was tortured. Every nerve ending was raw with pain from the hours of cruciatus. Hermione was beginning to lose herself to the nightmare when Narcissa shook her out of it.

Hermione gasped as she looked up into the young face that had watched her be tortured without any emotion and tried to gather her thoughts. "Get Severus please."

"What's wrong?" the witch asked letting some worry appear on her face.

"I need to go back to Madame Pomfrey, please just get Severus," Hermione pleaded.

Narcissa sent a house elf and soon enough Severus and the Malfoys came. "What is wrong?"Severus demanded.

"She says she needs Pomfrey."

Severus nodded and took the trembling witch from Narcissa. "I am sorry that our visit is being cut short. I will be in touch." Then Severus took Hermione to the nearest fireplace where an elf gave them their coats and he flooed the both of them back to Hogsmeade.

Severus hurried her through the Hogs Head and into the carriage as quickly as possible. Once in, Hermione clung to him just as she had after she woke up from her injuries. "Hermione you need to tell me what is going on," he asked softly as he stroked her hair, trying to calm her.

"My arm… The drawing room… I had seen it the other day but actually walking into _that _room… It was horrible."

"Your arm? You mean your scar?"

Hermione nodded, "It is horrible, why do I have to remember that? Why don't I have any good memories? Surely something good happened."

"I'm sure it is only a matter of time before you remember them. The bad things just tend to leave deeper scars, figuratively and literally." Severus pulled the witch closer, "I promise I'm not going to let anything like that happen to you ever again. I promise, I will protect you."

**This isn't an excuse for my tardiness but do you have any idea of how hard it is to write Narcissa? It took me forever to write the beginning of this chapter because I kept scrapping what I wrote. If you comment and say my Narcissa was horribly written I wouldn't be surprised and ask for some feedback on how to fix it.**


	30. Return of Term

**College, just college.**

**Disclaimer: not mine**

The ride back to the castle was quiet as Severus held the still trembling Hermione. One arm wrapped around her torso while his other hand stroked her hair that tumbled over his chest as she rested her forehead upon his shoulder. She had not said another word about the flashback and Severus did not pry. He only wondered where he was when it happened. She had said before that in the future he had protected her from many dangers so why hadn't he protected her from this? What else had he failed to shield her from? But there were more pressing questions like what to tell the Malfoys, they knew she had some fractured ribs but that didn't explain her pain as it obviously wasn't connected. Maybe the head injury could explain it? It'll have to do but what about next time? They were bound to be invited back to the Manor and the drawing room could not be avoided forever not to mention what else may have happened to her in that house. Severus shuddered to think of the possibilities and became furious as he thought of the implications. She was tortured in his friend's house, nothing happened on those grounds without Lucius' knowledge.

The fury took a back seat as he heard Hermione make a small noise indicating that he was holding her too tightly and he loosened his embrace. When they arrived at the steps of Hogwarts, Severus took her immediately to Madame Pomfrey. The nurse rushed to Hermione's side as Severus set her down on a cot.

"What happened to her? Was it those Malfoys?"

"No, at least not yet. Hermione had a flashback in the Manor, she said it had to do with the scar on her arm. She didn't say anything else but she seems to be in real pain," the young wizard replied angrily.

"She is reliving the memory, I'll give her a calming draught. Hopefully that'll bring her back to the present." It required an unusually large dosage but eventually the calming draught was able to help. At this point an elf had been sent to McGonagall and the Headmaster who had both arrived. The former interrogated the medi-witch for every detail while the later took a reluctant Severus to the side.

"It seems that her education in Occlumency grows in importance every day."

"I will see that she learns," Severus hissed through his teeth.

"Remember that it is not only her emotions that must be controlled," Dumbledore cautioned, "I understand your anger, your attachment to Miss Granger is obviously very strong but you cannot let that affect your decisions or your friendship with the Malfoys. They will be strong allies for you in this task and will help you gain Voldemort's favor."

The young Slytherin crossed his arms across his chest, "I am aware but I believe that I am allowed to express some anger."

"For now perhaps but as you get deeper into this mission that will cease to be an option, your emotions and true thoughts will have to be heavily guarded within your mind to prevent any slip ups."

XXXXXXX

Hermione recovered from her flashback by dinner. She refused to talk or think about the subject again for the rest of the night and insisted that occlumency lessons could be pushed back. Severus didn't agree but she was begging and he didn't want to cause her anymore pain.

At dinner Severus received an owl from Narcissa asking after Hermione's health and Severus told her the story he and Hermione agreed upon about her head injury not being truly healed and that she felt better now after medical attention.

Hermione was in her room for the first time since her accident and was determined to enjoy it before the rest of the student body returned from their holidays in two days. She tried to relax and enjoy some light reading but her mind wandered without her consent to her arm and bad memories. Finally she gave in and took the dreamless sleep that Madame Pomfrey had finally deemed safe for her consumption.

The next day was filled with rigorous training both mental and physical, or as rigorous as Pomfrey would allow as she insisted on supervising this last session before term began. Surprisingly she did allow Hermione to go all the way to her limit but no further. At the end of it she sent Hermione straight to bed forbidding staying up for any heavy reading, an order Hermione would not follow once she was on her own, and asked Severus to stay behind.

"What did you want to talk about Madame?" the Slytherin asked politely, well as politely as he ever was.

"Don't be so serious all the time, Severus. Come, sit," she asked patting a chair beside her, "I just want to talk about you."

"What a pleasant subject," he whispered under his breathe.

"Oh hush and sit already, now how are things with Miss Granger?"

"You just saw us practice…"

"That is not what I meant and you know it. You don't have to be embarrassed or try to keep it a secret. This is a good thing, I do not think I can think of anyone who makes you as happy as she does."

Severus turned his head and said to himself, "She's way too good for me." But the medi-witch did hear him.

"Don't you say that, she is perfect for you and you for her. You compliment each other so well, you two have just the right balance of differences and similarities. It is not enough just for opposites to attract or to share every interest, there must be balance like with everything else in life. Now I know you Severus Snape and I know that tomorrow you are going to withdraw from her as everyone returns, I have one piece of advice for you: don't. All you'll accomplish with that is pain for both yourself and Miss Granger. You don't have to flaunt your affection like most young couples, in fact I advise against that, just do what feels natural. Sit close to her in class, hold her hand in the hall if you ever feel inclined, let her hug you even if people are around. You'll be teased, I won't deny that, but the teasing will fade especially since the Marauders seem to have backed off."

"I doubt they will stay silent after this."

"Severus they pick on you because you provide a reaction. Ignore their words and block any spells they may throw at you, then just walk away. That is the best thing you can do."

"You said that before," he pointed out.

"And you didn't listen," she replied, "But now you have Miss Granger to think of too and I think you are mature enough to listen now for her sake."

Severus didn't say anything and Madame Pomfrey knew he was thinking about what she had said. "I'm going to go get ready for tomorrow, I suggest you do the same. Goodnight."

"Good night," Severus responded absent mindedly.

XXXXXXX

The next morning everything was ready for the students to arrive that evening. Hermione was sitting in the room of requirement reading a book on occlumency trying to find some way to hide some of her stronger memories. As much as she wanted to remember it seemed to be doing more harm than good and made her more vulnerable to Voldemort.

Next to her was a letter from Narcissa that Hermione had received that morning inquiring after her health and expressing her wish to get together soon and go shopping. She would have to respond to that but after a few minutes of no idea of how to start her letter Hermione resorted to reading.

Hermione was preparing her mind for an occlumency exercise when Severus came in.

Hermione looked up and gave him a small smile, "Morning."

"Morning," he returned as he sat down next to her. He had spent all night thinking about what Madame Pomfrey had said and decided he would try and fight off his natural urge to retreat but he was still unsure about how far he should push his luck once classes started. For now he contented himself with wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "What are you reading?"

"Occlumency, I need to block my flashbacks."

"There is a way to do that," Severus began hesitantly. "It won't be pleasant though, in fact it will be rather painful but it will help you confront and isolate your memories."

"Is it the only solution?"

"It is the best solution particularly given our circumstances, we don't have time to do this the easy way."

Hermione took a deep breath, "Of course we don't, so what is it?"

"It involves a pensieve, you'll have to pull out each individual memory and relive them." Severus paused as Hermione's face gave away her feelings for this plan. "This way you'll be less shocked if they pop up suddenly and you'll be able to identify them so you can guard them. Or if you'd rather we could obliviate your memories after."

"No!" Hermione shouted, "No obliviation, I can't… I just can't…"

"Calm down, it was just a suggestion, I'm not going to obliviate you against your will." Severus had originally suggested it because he thought it would comfort Hermione to know the pain could end, how stupid of him not to realize she would want to cling onto any memory she had. "Look we'll talk about it later, let's relax today until the hooligans and idiots arrive."

"Speaking of which, how long do you think the Marauder's truce will last now that they are back?"

"I'm not holding my breath."

XXXXXXX

Even up in the Room of Requirement the noise of returning students reached the young couple's ears. In their time alone the letter to Narcissa was finished and well not much more productivity happened after. When Severus realized their activities had to come to an end a scowl reminiscent of his future self marred his face.

"We don't have to leave right now," the witch leaning against him reminded him with a kiss.

"True but we will soon."

Hermione sighed, "Always the pessimist."

"Well tell me what is so sunny about their return?"

"First you don't have to deal with me all day anymore," Hermione joked.

"No instead I'll be dealing with fools."

"We can focus on things other than training now like class."

"Which will slow down our progress."

"Oh I give up," the witch conceded.

"Good now let's pretend that annoying interruption didn't happen," Severus suggested, pulling her closer to him.

XXXXXXX

Eventually time ran out and the two had to emerge from their secret room and head downstairs to the Great Hall. During the break they had become lax about not being seen together up on this floor because they practically never ran into anybody. Because of this only a quick sweep of the hall was taken to give the all clear and the two decided to walk a ways together before casting a notice me not charm on Severus. But they never cast the charm as they got caught rather early on.

Lily had popped seemingly out of nowhere and saw the two together. "Hermione, there you are, I could not find you in the tower." She paused as she realized the two had been walking quite close to one another before jumping back at the sound of her voice. It only took a second for the look of realization to dawn her face. "Oh um well, Remus wants to say hi to you Hermione and well I wanted to talk to Sev-Snape anyway so…"

Hermione glanced at Severus who gave her a nod saying that it was okay if she left. Hermione reluctantly did so and went to the tower to find Remus.

Severus and Lily watched her leave before turning back to face one another. "So you two…"

"Yes, not that it is any of your business," Severus snapped, he wanted this conversation over with.

"I knew it would happen eventually," the redhead said a matter of factly, "So did you receive my letter?" she asked more seriously.

He responded curtly, "Yes."

"Then why didn't you write back?"

"Lily, I've already made my decision." Lily looked disappointed and disgusted, of course assuming the worse. Severus would have loved to correct her, tell her the truth but he couldn't, not yet. "And I've realized that your friendship means less to me than I thought if you are going to be so fickle."

"Does Hermione know about this?" Lily asked hotly.

"Yes she does and she understands why I am doing what I am doing." Lily was about to explode in her fiery Gryffindor temper but Severus stopped. "I know you'll never talk to me again but do me one favor, you may hate me now but I was once your best friend. Once you graduate you will be a major target, do me this one thing. Run and _hide_, don't let yourself be killed." And with that Severus left before Lily could respond.

XXXXXXX

Hermione had found Remus fairly quickly by following the noise caused by his companions. She waved hello and they silently decided to talk after dinner by the fireplace like they usually did.

Soon the whole of the tower's population made its way to the Great Hall and everything was as it was before the break. Everyone took their normal seats and Hermione felt odd not sitting next to Severus as she had the entire break. Her thoughts were slightly occupied though with Lily's not so subtle glare in her direction. She could only imagine how the redhead responded when Severus confirmed they were together. Well he'd better have confirmed they were together otherwise he'd have a ticked Hermione on his hands.

After dinner was over Hermione had some time on her hands before the common room was empty enough for her to talk to Remus. Or so she thought. She had gone up to her room to grab a book when Lily blocked her way out.

"_Not this again,"_ Hermione thought.

"Hermione, we need to talk."

"No Lily, Severus and I are dating and you do not have a say in that."

"Yeah well I have a hard time believing you would be dating him if you knew what he was doing. Even you should know better than to go out with a Death Eater."

"He isn't a Death Eater," Hermione defended hotly, "There is so much going on here that you don't understand. I hope to Merlin one day you'll learn the truth but for now you'll have to stay in the dark. Perhaps if you were a more loyal friend you would know the truth by now!"

Lily clenched her fists in anger, "What on earth did he do to you over the break? What truth could possibly make what he plans on doing ever okay?"

"You don't have enough facts right now for us to have an intelligent conversation about this, get out of my way."

"Stooping to insults against my intelligence now are you?"

Just then Penny came into the room and froze in the tense atmosphere. Hermione took advantage of the situation and left the room but not before turning to Lily, "I can't wait for you to mature and learn that not everything is black and white. There are so many shades of gray in this world."

**Please review, I need them, I am suffering from withdrawel**


	31. Anxiety

**So here's what's been happening to me. I have been struggling with college, had to switch majors, had some personal stuff happen, had a surgery that thankfully proved that I did not have cancer, had another surgery within three months, and I got diagnosed with chronic depression and an anxiety disorder.**

**I am a mess and I'm sorry I haven't been writing but with everything going on I haven't had the motivation to write and even now I really don't have the time to do this but I want to try and get back into it. Hopefully it'll relieve my stress and I will one day complete this story which I love and I really did feel bad about abandoning.**

Those eyes were so _cold._ Hermione had been dreaming about those two pairs of eyes since she left Malfoy Manor. These people who wanted to pretend to befriend her but twenty years in the future they watch emotionless as she screams. Hermione awoke with a jolt glad that it was over for the moment, knowing that those eyes would return once she closed hers. That weekend she had to see them again as _Cissy_ took her shopping. Even when she took a dreamless sleep potion she could not escape, they would catch her in her daydreams.

She got out of bed and went to take an early morning bath. She needed to relax before classes began in a few hours and she had to keep her anxiety from Severus. She was able to prevent a few conversations about the drawing room incident with him but that was not enough. She could not just ignore it she needed to get over it; this plan would not work if she allowed her memories this freedom. She must befriend these heartless monsters and make them think she sympathized.

As she tiptoed out she heard Lily stir in her bed. Poor girl had no idea; perhaps Hermione had been too hard on her. Severus had told her that Lily was also a target and Hermione began to wonder if she had survived in her past and if she would survive this future.

The brunette continued to the bathroom and ran a hot bath. As she soaked her worries entered her mind once more. What if she was a complete and utter failure at being a spy? Now that she and Severus were dating there would be little chance for him to talk his way out of any trouble her failure could cause. Was she too hasty with that New Years kiss? Would it lead to his downfall?

Severus had to survive, he was far more valuable to the mission where she was just extra weight but it was too late now. The kiss and all that followed were pleasant and she would not let him go, not unless she had to. And she very well might. If all went well she couldn't imagine having much control over her future with Voldemort and Dumbledore pulling the strings. No they were selling their freedom to stop her past from happening.

Hermione grabbed some shampoo and began furiously rubbing it into her scalp as if trying to scrub the thoughts away. After that proved fruitless Hermione began to meditate and attempted occlumency to block out her anxiety. Nobody needed to see her this way.

XXXXXX

Severus entered the Great Hall with trepidation. By now all of Gryffindor had fresh rumors about his personal life only this time Severus was going to prove them right. He would not risk driving her away by purposely being distant. He would try his best to act like a boyfriend… but he hoped Hermione did not expect too much of that in public, it simply could not happen.

He saw her sitting in her usual spot her hair looked freshly cleaned and her face looked exhausted. What nightmares plagued her last night? He knew she tried to hide her pain, of all sorts, from him and the world. He tried not to pry, he would always find out anyway, if not from her own admission then at least from her mind.

He sat at his house's table and took some eggs from a nearby serving dish when Dolohov walked over.

"Why are you staring at the _gryffonbitch?_ You know people think you are with her, right?" the Slytherin drawled.

Severus took a bite of his breakfast, resisted the urge to look away from her, and responded, "Just because you're still hurting from her hex doesn't mean you should use such language."

Dolohov flushed red, "I can use whatever language I want and you should get used to it while dating that psycho."

Nearby a female voice joined, "Now Severus let's be serious," Zabini uttered, "Surely some decently pretty girl must have some interest, no need to stoop so low."

"I don't see how I'm stooping at all," Severus retorted. Deciding breakfast wasn't worth it he walked out of the Great Hall and gave Hermione a pointed look. She seemed to understand and followed him out.

After walking a ways she finally caught up to him. "Is something wrong?"

"Besides the fact that you're not sleeping no; I simply didn't want to be there anymore."

Hermione tried to straighten herself and look less a wreck. "My ribs still hurt…"

"Of course they do but you have potions for that."

"Which I don't like to over use, but forget that for now," Hermione made him look her in the eye, "you are changing the subject." She sighed and grabbed his hand. "Surely you knew the talking wouldn't stop."

"True but I wish I didn't have to hear. I'm sorry to have upset you any further," he let a small smile onto his face then placed a small kiss on her forehead. She reminisced in the feel of his lips and the sight of one of his rare smiles, they softened his features and soothed her nerves.

XXXXX

They entered charms together and took their usual seats in the back only just a little closer than usual. The students openly stared until Flitwick called their attention.

"Students we will need to move the desks and chairs to the sides as we will be learning to conjure a patronus." The room filled with excited whispers as they stood and magically moved the furniture. "The spell is very simple in theory what is hard is the memory. This memory must be of your happiest moment and it must be very strong. We will gather in groups and go one at a time in those groups."

The students lined up and began trying to cast the spell. Most were able to make some form of an animal after a few tries though a few had trouble focusing hard enough on a certain memory. Each new fully formed patronus was a source of discussion, what did that animal mean? Some was serious, some was teasing, particularly the Head Couple.

James produced a magnificent stag identical to his animagi, Hermione noted. Lily followed and produced a doe, their faces became the same shade of red as Lily's hair.

The newest couple had more trouble though. Thinking of his time with Hermione, Severus was able to produce a fog. It tried to take a form but was confused as to what it wanted to be. It could not take a form and Severus wondered if maybe after seeing Hermione's his would take shape.

But Hermione's never came. Oh she tried. She thought of Severus but those memories were tainted by the danger she had put him in, by the memories of what he would endure. The memory would not shine bright enough. The book said childhood memories worked best as they were untainted but she had none. Her breathing became shallow and all her anxieties came crashing in. She was hated in her past and would cause nothing but pain in this future. She was a failure, she was useless, her presence was a hindrance. And look at her breaking down over such a little thing, Voldemort would tear her to bits.

She tried to fight off all of the fears and just give up on the spell but now that the thoughts had invaded they refused to leave. The world came crashing down on her and the guilt roiled in her gut. She wanted it out, she wanted to claw at it until it could flow out. To cut and slash at herself until she could bleed out her worries. These thoughts scared and terrified her.

She was having a mental break down, she could not have it here. On the outside she had held it in long enough to slip outside, excusing herself to go to the restroom. Madame Pomfrey had been worried enough to give Hermione a small vial of calming draught. She had decided not to use it unless it was an emergency and the fact that the desire to grab a knife kept entering her mind said that it was. She drank enough to push out the thoughts then used occlumency to shut down any lingering emotions.

She calmly reentered the classroom and went to Severus. She grabbed his hand when he gave her a questioning look.

Her answer was perfectly nonchalant, "It's stupid isn't it? I can't do a simple spell."


End file.
